Maggi's Misadventures

The Lame End of 2011.

2011-12-31T11:33:00.001-08:00

The end of 2011 seemed intent on being a total C to me & my family.

I've considered how to write this out and blog it, wither or not I should, for some time now. But I feel like it's been waiting to be said, even in a short way, just to be free from me. So here goes.

I had a miscarriage the week of Thanksgiving.

I was somewhere around 6-9 weeks pregnant when it happened, I had a due date, I had told so many people, and bam... I could go into such detail about what happened and how, but I just don't want to. I don't want to revisit the heart breaking emotion of that week. It was shitty all around, and it lasted a whole week, which made things even worse. I had to go to the ER twice and deal with the worst people there, I had to tell family and friends, I had to have a D&C (Which essentially is an operation to remove...it...), and I spent a great amount of time crying. After my D&C, the day before Thanksgiving, I had a sore throat for another week and a bruise on my arm for even longer from the IV. Needless to say I was happy to be done with is all.

Steve was an angel through the whole thing, bless him. He was pretty torn up as well but he took great care of me. My dear friend Tina was also a complete Godsend. She took care of telling people for me, she watched Nat for a whole day while I was in hospital, she made us dinner and was just there for support. I honestly don't know how we would have survived without her.

And Natalie...precious Natalie...made everything better. One reason I was able to survive the week and get on with life was her. For all the emotions of failure and guilt, heartache and pain, she is perfect living proof that I can make life. I know the miscarriage wasn't my fault. I know it was just nature taking care of a pregnancy gone wrong. But knowing that doesn't make going through it any easier. Still Natalie made it better. I had to be strong for her. I had to keep going, keep breathing and being a Mommy for her. Plus it helped when she would hug and kiss me. Baby cuddles are an amazing cure all.

It happened, and it sucked. But life had to go on, so go on it did.

Then less than three weeks later I lost my job.

I'm not kidding when I say the end of the year was a real See You Next Tuesday (think about it). There had to be layoffs and due to a lame technicality from my maternity leave with Nat, I had the last hire date and thus was the first to go. I had been with that company since 2008, had the most experience in my department, and about 90 customers that were my own, but still lost my job. Needless to say I cried a lot more. I'm not going to badmouth them, there is no need or reason to, I get why I was the one to go. But I will say that come spring and summer when they need my experience and ability, they are going to be sorry I'm not there.

I'm going to miss my customers. I wish I could have said goodbye to them properly, instead of however they were told I was gone. Some were proper friends, and I wish I could tell them how much I loved working with them. I know a few read my blog and I hope they see this and know that I'm ok, I'll find something else that is different and awesome, and I will miss them.

I will miss my manager Heath, and Eve and America and Jennifer. I won't miss the stress, the worry, and the general lameness. I won't miss the daily drive that took me half way across the bloody planet. I won't miss our amazing Used Book guy Rick, because I totally insisted we keep on being goofy friends who email each other all the time. So I still have him to be a total nerd with, which makes me happy.

I'll find another job. I'm terrified but not worried. It sucks that in 3 weeks I was made a statistic twice and in the worst ways, but that's just a way of life I guess. I took December to enjoy being at home and come the new year I'm getting on with work.

Then at Christmas, because of the Rule of Threes, I got a right proper Cold that kept me more or less miserable for a week. On top of that Natalie had a cold at the same time, so the 23-26 there wasn't much sleeping for any of us. As awful as I felt, having a baby with a fever makes everything worse. Again Steve, healthy as a horse, had to tend to us and did so brilliantly. Natalie is better, and I have a lingering stuffy nose, but the year got one last jab in on us.

It wasn't a bad year, nor was it an especially good one. It was a normal year of life, with ups and downs. It's lame the year ended on such bad notes, but we've survived them all. We had a good Christmas besides being sick. All our Birthdays were awesome and happy. We had silly weekend adventures and Friday Night Dinners and fun with friends and lots of love and good movies and laughter and joy. It was life. It was lovely and joyful and stupid.

I hope 2012 is a proper good year. I hope I can find work, Steve can keep going with his school work and Natalie stays healthy and happy. I hope life stays quiet and joyful, and that the bad stays away.

Natalie is sleeping, Steve is listening to music and I'm getting my hair chopped off later. Tonight is a special Saturday Night Dinner and tomorrow is a small get together of some of my lovely Blogger friends. So it's time to wander off. It feels good to get the bad out of me, and to get on with life.

Happy New Years my lovelies!
-Mags

Disney Birthday Fun Times

2011-10-28T12:04:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, the 27th, I celebrated my upcoming birthday at Disneyland. It was a beautiful day, long, full of laughter and silliness. I spent it in the company of 3 people I love, which made the day all so much better.

Instead of a wall of words, I thought I'd post some pictures of the glorious day.

<3 Mags

A Year and Some Odd Days

2011-09-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hiya!

Ok, so it's been a while, and there should be no excuse for the long time between blogging but there is and deal with it. Life gets busy, and blah blah blah. Pretend I was kidnapped by monsters or off on the TARDIS or just in general being lazy.

But, life has been going on, as it is want to do. And when I last left you I was going on and on about Matt Smith and how my daughter was six months old.

Now she is a year old. My kid...is a year old. What?! Because she was a wee little infant and now she's this:

My little girl, all one and stuff. She still has big blue eyes and a goofy smile and a lot of hair. But now she has 5 (almost 6!) teeth and can walk and she climbs EVERYTHING and fusses when she doesn't get her way and is just an all around nut. And I love her so very much.

Work is still work and the busy season was especially the worst. Now it's slowing down and we have lost most of our temp staff. I'm giving up my pumping breaks at the end of the month, which makes my heart weep and so very not happy. But it is time to wean, and that is the first step. I have nursed for over a year, which makes me wicked proud, especially while still working full time. Way to go, boobs!

I've been working on my Stories a lot more, mostly finding any moment to type in a sentence or chapter into my phone. I have become determined to write the first book, and make myself complete at least 80% of a chapter before moving on. I'm a wee bit stuck on Chapter 3, but only because sometimes you just don't want to write or your brain won't let you think of anything else but fifth book stuff. Stupid brain.

Annnnd....well, that's the lot of it. Of course there are silly and useless pop culture things to discuss (Which I mostly do on my Tumblr).
And there are new obsessions (Tom Hiddleston, I <3 you. So. MUCH.Y U SO PRETTY?!).
And the world at large to consider (How has it been ten years since that awful day where I cried from the morning until night? When I came home and hugged my mom tighter than ever before?).
And silly stories about my life. (Our car broke down recently, which was not fun. We've become part of a weekly Friday Night Dinner crowd which is brilliant. Nat's first birthday was a ball. I got to see Matt Smith in person and he reacted to something I yelled out and it was the most amazing thing ever. And why is the Jurassic Park theme coming on my Tron Soundtrack Pandora?!)

I'll have a bit more access to a computer this week, so I'm going to blog as much as possible and maybe even set up ones for future dates, just cause.

In the mean time, here is a bit more of my cute ass kid.

This was her in her little fairy costume for her birthday party. Notice the wings! She was so damn cute that day.

Ok, I'll stop with the pictures. She want's me too. :)

How have you all been?
Lots of love!
-Mags

Things I'm Obsessed With: Doctor Who (Still)

2011-04-10T18:34:00.000-07:00

Hey, lovely friends and Bloggers.

A while back I wrote about my love and obsession for Doctor Who, David Tennant, and all things Who related. I wrote that I was devastated that David was leaving, and that I was unsure about the new bloke, Matt Smith, taking over the Tardis. Ten was the best! How could anyone ever replace Tennant? What Companion would best Donna? How would the show be the same without all that made it great?

But change was coming, and I had to deal with it. So when Matt's Doctor Eleven premired at the end of The End of Time, I was really unsure. I was also crying so hard I couldn't think straight. Losing Ten just hurt...and his last line..."I don't want to go." .... I was a sobbing mess on my bed. Lost to my tears and the music and the death of Ten and the Tardis on fire. There was a bright ball of light, and there was Eleven. Here was Matt. He was goofy and silly and LEGS! and all other aborably Doctory things, but I think I was just too raw to care.

But then, a few months later, I sat down for the first episode of the 5th season, "The Eleventh Hour", expecting to have a good time but still a little hurt over Ten being gone. I wanted to give Eleven a chance. He deserved it, afterall, but I knew it would take him a while to win over my heart.

Then we met Amy Pond, the cute little Ginger Scot. And then the Tardis crashed in her back yard, and that floppy haired, drunken giraffe of a Doctor climbed out of a swiming pool and into my good graces. Then...then there was Fish Custard. And adult Amy. And Rory. And the flopsy haired Doctor running about, being really kick ass, and winning me over entirely. Finally, after saving the world in a dead man's clothes, he presented himself, properly, as the Eleventh Doctor, in all his slightly hipster, flopsy haired, long limbed, silly, young, old goofiness.

And you know what?

I LOVED HIM.

And I still love him. I adore Matt Smith as The Doctor. He's amazing in the part. Bright, silly, strong, gentle, sad, hopeful, young, old, and perfect. Matt is perfect.

Don't get me wrong, David will always be MY Doctor, and I will love him always. But David is gone, as is Donna, and the old Tardis, and Martha and Rose. Gone. And that's ok, really it is. Because I really, really love Matt, and Amy, and Rory, and the New Tardis, and the music and stories and Vincent and all of it. ALL OF IT.

They made it so easy to love Eleven and Amy. You wanted to be with them instantly, on their adventures, on the Hipster Tardis. The Space Whale and the return of the Weeping Angels, and those green lizard things, and the Daleks and the vampires and Vincent...Vincent...and Craig and the Pandorica. And yes, even River Song, who I just UUUUUUUGH HATE. So annoying.

And I realize that I've used "And" and very bad writing a lot in this post, but I really don't care. Someone get me a fez.

One of the many ways they made it so easy to love this new version of The Doctor, besides the brilliant writing and how amazingly great Eleven and Amy are, is the music. I can't tell you enough how lovely it is, and what a kick ass job Murray Gold had done. But the single most brilliant part about the new series and the new Doctor?

The Doctor's new theme.

Seriously. I can't stand it. This is one of the most heroic and awesome themes given to any character in the history of characters getting themes! I listen to this song and I want to run. I want to put on my Amy Pond boots, skinny jeans, and run. Not like, run for my health but run to save the world! I want to be in the Tardis, and I want to be with the Doctor.

But if you don't, then there's something wrong with you.

Amy Pond is...just...amazing. She is so spunky and and strong. She can stand up for herself against the Doctor, and anyone really. Her heart is big, her spunk is vast, and she could easily be Donna's little sister. But...Scottish... She deserves to be with The Doctor, and she enjoys her time with him, she's always game for a new adventure. Even better, although I think she has a bit of a thing for The Doctor, unlike Rose and Martha, she's not super annoying about it.

Of course, she has Rory...who is...so lovely. Amy's boyfriend and the butt of many jokes. Sweet, good natured, kind, very, very goofy, and so loving towards Amy. The boy who waited. Rory's storyline made me warm and fuzzy, broke my heart, and filled me with such joy in the end. He's the perfect foil to Amy and The Doctor, and I can't wait to see him come into their own.

And the episodes...especially the last 4, made me love the series even more.
The Doctor and Amy and Vincent Van Gogh fight a monster and Billy Nighy is in it? YES.

The Doctor has to pretend to be human and be a "normal" lodger, renting out a flat with some odd but sweet neightbors? SO YES.

The two-parter season finale with The Pandorica and the Starless Sky and all the bad guys and the music and River being not so annying and Amy's wedding? YESYESYESYESYES.

The Doctor...young and so very old...sitting next to Amy's childhood bed, telling her a story about a mad man in a blue box, his heart breaking, his time short, his voice breaking but strong. And my heart, a puddle of tears on the floor, nervous but excited, in love but in fear.

And then The Doctor dancing...with Dance Arms up in the air...my pants might have exploded.

The 6th season starts very soon and I'm beyond excited. I'm worried and nervous about what's to come, and how River will play into it all. I am freaked out by some of the monsters we've been hinted at and positively DIE when the Doctor, sitting at the desk in the Oval Office, asks the Secret Service, their guns pointed at him, for among other things, 12 Jammy Dodgers and a Fez.

My old post got a lot of random comments from kind people who agreed with me, and it was great. I hope they come back. I hope more sweet people come and read this one. It doesn't say much, but I don't really have much to go into. I am still obsessed with Doctor Who, but I think I always will be.

I should bugger off. Babies are fussy and there is stuff to do.

I love you all!

"It's funny, I thought, if you could hear me, I could hang on, somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's OK: we're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know, it was the best: a daft old man, who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you I stole it? Well, I borrowed it; I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box, Amy, you'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time, brand-new and ancient, and the bluest blue, ever. And the times we had, eh? Would've had. Never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond... and the days that never came."

♥ Mags

6 Months and So Far

2011-02-19T22:40:00.000-08:00

Hey Friends!
Crap on a cracker, it's been too long since I have blogged. So, of course my very first words back to it are "crap on a cracker", but that's Maggi for ya. *does a dance*

I could catch you up on my otherwise simple life, or I can just talk about my kid. And as she's amazing and perfect and so much better than me, I shall talk about her. It's been 6 Months since she was born. 6 Months. My beautiful little girl is already 6 months old, and I can't believe it. She used to look like this:

And now she looks like this:

What? Where did 6 months go? I mean, really? They flew by and now my girl is stronger, brighter, happy as a clam, so sweet, so much fun. She's eating "Solids", or, really, "Mushed up human food". She's chatty in that Baby way, she's a real goof, she has great expressions and her spirit is wonderful. 6 Months. It goes to quick.

UGH. Once a-bloody-gain I try to upload a video and it doesn't work.

Oh well.

I miss you all and I miss blogging. I'm still away from it for a bit, but know I miss it. And my creativity is going into story, and that's a good thing.

Love love love!

I'm going now.

-Mags

If I Die Before You - Or My New Favorite Song

2010-12-12T15:09:00.000-08:00

I'm OBSESSED with this song. I discovered it off the Community Soundtrack (If you're a fan of the show, get the soundtrack. It's wonderful.) and the song is by Ludwig Goransson. He also does the music for the background on the show.

I love this little song because it's silly, hopeful, sweet and happy. Don't let the title fool you, it's a very light hearted and simple love song.

And it's oddly perfect for a little Story remix I'm doing with Jessie right now. Ya know, it's good sometimes to start over. Alt worlds and all of that.

So anyway, it's a new favorite song. And I wanted to share it with you. Do you have any new favorite songs for me to check out?

~*~

Natalie turned on the music and pulled Emma towards her, the two old friends dancing happily and with great silliness. After a moment to laugh at them, David and Matt jumped up and began to dance with the girls. Matt took Natalie's hand and twirled her around while David and Emma did The Running Man. Matt then grabbed his girlfriend and twisted with her, while David and Natalie boggied. Before the song was over, David was waltzing with Natalie while Emma was doubled over in laughter as Matt had busted out The Robot.

Their laughter filled the air of their little apartment, the song's playful and joyous notes surrounding them. It would be a good night.

This Is My Tuesday: Recaps

2010-12-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

Hey all.

All is well in my little life. It's quiet and sweet. We're getting in the Christmas Spirit and Natalie is getting bigger and more amazing every day. Harry Potter 7.1 was AAAAAAAAAAAMAING, and life is, as ever, lovely.

I'm going to, then, work on a few of the past This Is My Tuesday as put on by Red Boots. Cause that's what I want to do. I have Childhood, Friendship, and Happiness. Enjoy.

Childhood:

This was taken around Halloween sometime when I was in the second grade? First grade? I love the taste of wax lips, even still. And I LOVED that green chair...it was velvet and so comfortable. I love my eyebrows and hate my hair. And that shirt...that shirt...I would wear it still.

It's weird to think Natalie is closer to that age than I am...

Friendship:

This one was HARD. Yet, I somehow I knew it would be a picture of Jess and I. I mean, I love all my friends to bits, but this picture always comes to mind when I think of my friends.

Jess and I were at the Jazz Festival in Zofingen, Switzerland in 2004. Cause, when you think of Jazz, you think small Swiss towns. It was taken by the photographer at the festival, and posted online. I love this picture for so many reasons.

We look like sisters, our freckles are popping, I'm wearing a cute dress I only got to wear like three times, including my Dad's wedding a few weeks after this picture was taken, it's in Switzerland on my first trip out of the country and in Jess's home country and her mother's home town. AND our hair was working it that night. So. Cute.

Happiness:

Does it need to be explained?

My little girl.

My heart of hearts.

The utter happiness of my soul.

I love her to no end.

So, those have been my Tuesdays.

I love you all and am grateful for the little comments you've left. I still read your blogs when I can. AND! I can't wait for the Blogger's Lunch to come.

Off to hang with my family!

<3 Mags

A While Away

2010-11-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends.

This hurts me to type, but I think it's time to take a sabbatical from Blogging.

I know. I know. It sucks.

But things are getting weird in my little life, and I need one less thing to feel guilty about. You see, guilt is one of my major faults. I feel it for a lot of reasons. It's lame. Not blogging makes me feel guilty, because of the friendships I have formed and the joy I find in it. So if I openly say I'll be gone for a while, maybe the guilt will be a little less. Maybe. A girl can hope.

But as stated before, we don't have Internet at home, we don't go over to someones house who has it all that often, and I can't blog at work.

They are taking away almost every personal freedom, liberty, and right we have. At work. Seriously. I left a little company I enjoyed for 14 weeks and came back to a quiet, cold prison ran like a tyranny. It is, needless to say and for lack of a better word, lame.

It's really rough, because, as we all know, if you strip every employee of whatever joy they have for the job, productivity DOES NOT get better. They will see. Some how, every good person in that place will leave. Be driven away. And what will happen to them then?

I'd go into it more, but as this blog is public to the world, I feel the need to censer myself. Which I hate but I will, because who knows who looks at this blog.

Besides from that, all my free time goes to sweet little Natalie, who is so wonderful and grand. She's a beautiful little girl, and I love her madly. And Steve, who is too good to be getting the brunt of my three week bad mood. But he is getting it, and hard. And my little apartment, and friends, and family, and a whole host of In Real Life stuff that is taking me away, even when the opportunity to blog comes along. Not to mention that I find when I blog, it takes the creative juices that I should be saving for my other writing.

Ah, who am I kidding? I call myself a writer but will never finish a damn story.

But you can't stop Debbie Downer!

Anyway, friends, dear and lovely friends, Dionne, Tracy, Meghan, Carla, Bryan, every one else, I adore you and your blogs. I will keep up with them when I can, and a part of me will be so sad for not being able to be a part of this world still. Forgive me this break, and however long it'll last. Forgive my life's insanity that keeps me away, and pray that better things come for me. A better life. An easier life. A different way to support my little life.

I hope I don't have to wait too long.

If you have twitter, follow me on there. @MaggiSaar. It's utterly private, because I am more honest on Twitter than I am on here or Facebook, but if you add me (And I know it's you), I'll allow you to see my tweets and we can converse that way. Of course there is always Facebook. And email (maggisaar@yahoo.com). And texts. And calls. And handwritten snail mail letters. All of it is just a little info away, so just let me know how you want to keep up with little ol' me, and so shall it be.

In the mean time, send good thoughts my way, especially between the hours of 5AM-5PM on weekdays, and I promise I will return as soon as I can. And if I never do...well...know I loved this blog. And all my readers. And my Lost Thoughts. And everything that comes with this form of communication.

So off I go, to the tune of the song below. Though I may be a stranger to this blog, don't be a stranger to me. I'd be terribly sad if you did!

So much love for always...
♥ Mags

Ths Is My Tuesday...

2010-11-09T17:29:00.000-08:00

I utterly adore the blog Red Boots and the Scottish Lass behind it. I like to think that if we lived near each other, we'd be best of friends. (That's not weird, right?)

She's been doing this project called This Is My Tuesday where she posts a picture for a theme and talks about it. I've been wanting to jump in on it for a while now, and finally get a chance today. The theme is Family....and guess what is coming.

Getting to know my little family over the last 12 weeks has been incredible. Every moment with Natalie has been amazing. Every new adventure, every little lesson, every time she looks at me and smiles. Life is better, happier, lovelier, and sweeter because she's in it.

Life with Steve has been wonderful too. We are better than we've ever been, and I love him more every day. He's the best father and most gracious husband. We laugh a lot, we talk at length, and sometimes we'll just sit and watch our child sleep. To think I've made a little life with my best friend...it's awesome. And sappy. Man, is this getting sappy. I feel I should toss in a crude joke or something.

But I won't.

I realize that my family is the most important thing I'll ever be a part of. And also the most awesome. I know now, the biggest truth in my life, that I am not meant to be a working mom. That I have to be, at least for a little while, devastates me more than I can ever dare to say. I can only pray that one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, I can go home to my family, and properly stay there. I can hope...oh, can I hope.

That's my Tuesday. At least my thoughts for a Tuesday. My dream for a Tuesday...

What's At Home

2010-11-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm back to work as of today. And though was an easy enough day, and there is plenty of stuff to keep me busy while I’m there (Which makes the time move quickly), it is positively gut wrenching to be away from this:

So part of me slowly dies with every passing minute away. This I cannot deny.

But I know that just before 5pm every day, I get to return and see this:

And there will always be such joy in my heart.

The things parents do for their children. I never understood it fully until now.

At least we’ll always have cuddles.

Cuddles are the best.
♥♥Mags

Building a Birdhouse In My Soul

2010-10-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the library using their internet, my mom's computer, and there are some kids by me who are "doing homework". Was I ever so annoying as a teen? Seriously? They are just sitting around, talking crap, being loud and not doing their homework. Also they don't know the September 11th happened. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I'm afriad for the generation between mine and my child's. Anyway, on to the post I wrote earlier on my iTouch while hanging out with Natalie.

**

It's been too long since I have blogged! I'm sorry about that, but I've been a bit busy! You know, what with the kid and all.

I've wanted to blog, you know. I wanted to write about my recent homesickness for Seattle, I've partially written out my birth story (which I will post soon, promise), I wanted to wax poetic about motherhood, my old life, childhood, etc. But I haven't, and I can't, because we're going it old school and don't have a computer or Internet at home. So I write things on my iPod, and wait until I can get Internet time while at the library or someone's house.

So, this is what I've been up to recently:
Hanging with Natalie of course. She's amazing in pretty much every way. We spend days just playing with each other, sleeping, catching up on the DVR and in general just snugglig together. She might be a bit spoiled in that she will only sleep if cuddled up to us. And she wakes when we move her to get up and do stuff...but I don't care because cuddles are amazing, and I am going to miss it when I go back to work on November 1st.

GURG. I'm trying to upload a video of Natalie, but am unable to. LAME. Sorry!

She's getting bigger every day. We've already moved up a diaper size and into 0-3 month clothes. She's healthy, happy, and smart as a whip. She's getting more vocal, more aware, and smiling all the time. Her hair is still here, and I'm constantly praying that it comes in red. Yes, I want a Ginger child! I also pray her eyes stay blue. But I know she'll be beautiful no matter what.

Also, I've lost 20+ pounds since giving birth and 30+ since getting pregnant. Nice. Best diet plan ever.

I've become addicted to a few things in my maternity leave. One of them is Chuzzle for my Touch. It's just...all I do while being the pillow for my sleeping daughter.

Also I'm mad for "Birdhouse in Your Soul" from the Pushing Daisies soundtrack. I sing it to Natalie in the car and as she is falling asleep. It is such a sweet, happy song.

I tried to watch all of Buffy, but ended up givin up on it. I just stopped caring. It happens. Instead I've watched all of Season 4 of 30 Rock and Season 1 of Community. Because I enjoy my smart comedy over vampire slaying.

We have taken Natalie to Big Bear, to lunch with my boss, girls shopping days out, her first concert (Phat Cat Swinger) and soon, Disneyland. Yes, she is barely 2 months old, and won't remember all of this. But we will, and there will be pictures, and besides, we have a new friend to do stuff with. Why would we put off living just because Natalie is still wee?We still are having fun, and now we have someone to share it all with!

My birthday is at the end of this month. I'll be 26! I still can't believe that, nor can I believe I'll be spending it with my daughter. I have no idea what we're doing, but it'll be a fun day, I'm sure.

What else... I have been keeping up on your blogs, when I can. I love reading about your lives and how you've been. I miss being able to comment on them and read some of them, but I'll return to normal routine soon.

I got a lot of flack for the dirty diaper picture in the last post. I realize it was a shock to you, but you must realize it's real life. And I have always been very open about poop. So... Deal with it! But to make up for it, I'll post some pictures of hot men.

Happy?

Yes, it's the guys from Band of Brothers, but they are ALL hot. So. Hot. You're welcome! Just look at Damian Lewis back there, all ginger and awesome. Mmmm, giggity.
Life, in general, has been enjoyable and boring and happy and full of adventure and easy and hard and good. So, you know, I'm well and blessed! So very, very blessed.

I need to eat and play Chuzzle and do laundry and hope that Natalie naps for a good amount of time. Ta!
Loves!
Mags

Natalie in Pictures

2010-09-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

I'm stealing some time at the In-Laws while my baby is asleep and everyone is chatting after dinner. Here, as requested by everyone, are some pictures of my kid.

My wonderful friend Megan said of this one: "Please take this as the straight up, not-backhanded compliment this is: You are the least haggard brand-new mom I've ever seen. You two ladies are gorge." This was taken less than 40 mintues after she was born. She looks like Simon Pegg and I don't look like I just gave birth. Win.

(I hate pictures of women who've just given birth, and the baby looks amazing and the father looks amazing and the woman looks like she was just hit in the face with a Buick. I made sure any post-labor pictures of me were decent.)

Grandma Saar and Natalie taking a nap together in matching colors. Adorable! (Also: We don't ever clean our apartment.)

Natalie was ANGRY at me for putting her in this adorable dress my darling Sarah Batcha gave me. It's a Newborn size. It's GIANT on her. That look...I will see it all the time once she hits 13. *shudder*

My baby's big blye eyes. I hope they stay blue. They are beautiful.

Steve is an amazing father. Really. He's just the best. Natalie loves him.

Someone is a Sleepy McSleepFace.

This is how she sleeps. She is adorable! My kid is one awesome kid.

And finally, I'm just keeping it real. Mothers, you know what I'm talking about. Future Mother's...guess what you get to look forward to!

Ok, that's about that for a while. I should get back to the party. Ain't my Monkey the most adorable? Ya know, for two funny looking people, Steve and I made one cute kid. Go us!

Loves!
Mags

MOM! MOM! I love you!

Two Weeks Already

2010-09-01T12:11:00.003-07:00

Hello all!

Quick update, as it has been a while. Natalie is 2 weeks old already! Time is just running by. I hate to think I have to go back to work soon. I don't want to leave this little girl ever. I hate popping off to the store for 15 minutes! Oh, well, I'm getting by and so happy.

Natalie is passed out on my chest, and lately she only sleeps when cuddled up with Steve or I. We can get her to sleep in her bed for 4 hours or so a night, but once she's up for her early morning nibble, she won't go back to her bed! So she sleeps with Mommy and on Mommy all day. It's nice, cause cuddles are awesome. But also, I am mad hungry right now. And if I move, she'll wake up, and be fussy, and hungry, and I still won't get to eat. Someone get me a butler to bring me things while I cuddle my Monkey!

But she's very well contained, my girl. She only fusses for food and a clean diaper. She hates her car seat but passes out once she's in it. We took her to The Saar Family Reunion last Saturday and she was an angel. Barely any fuss, she slept through most of it, and my whole family loved her.

So life goes on. She's just perfect, happy, invokved, and active. Last night she was pushng off Steve's hands with he legs and moving herself up his chest. Are 2 week old's supposed to be that active and strong? She watches us, looks around, seems to study things, and I have a feeling I have a smart kid on my hands. I just adore her to bits and bits. Loving Natalie is so easy! Even when she is a bit of a fuss face.

Well, I should try to go eat. We'll see if Natalie takes to her sling and can sleep while I quickly stuff my face.

Pictures to come soon. Unless you've seen her cute mug all over Facebook or Twitpic. She's beautiful, yes?

Much love!
...Nat just farted loudly. God, I love her!
<3 Mags

PS Posting on your phone can be lame.

Natalie Ann Barnhart

2010-08-20T22:49:00.000-07:00

My daughter, Natalie Ann Barnhart, was born on 08/18/10 at 1:04PM.

The birth was...what it was. I'll write that story later. It wasn't easy, but it could have been so much worse, so I really lucked out.

Besides, I got my daughter out of it. In the end, I win!

She is beautiful, utterly perfect, and so sweet. I've never loved someone the way I love her. The faces she makes, the noises, the way she looks at me...Oh God, it melts my heart. She is amazing. And I just can't wait to spend every day with her.

Steve was amazing through my labor. He was my rock through the birth. He's been a great partner, father, and husband. He is so in love with Natalie, he can't keep his eyes off her! Talking to her, holding her, trying to eat her nose. (In fairness, it's pretty cute. You'd want to eat it too.)

So that's that! She's sleeping, we're watching Top Chef, and as it is our first night at home, we're a bit shell shocked and happy.

Pictures to come soon, I promise.
Love!
<3 Maggi, Steve, and Natalie

Operation Nackstraction Is A Go!

2010-08-18T03:12:00.001-07:00

at hospital. It's after 3. I'm having this baby. On her due date.

Awesome.
<3 Mags

What I'm Waiting For...

2010-08-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

Waiting for this kid to come.

Waiting for some food. Damn, I'm hungry.

Waiting to see Dionne later. YAY!

Waiting for 2 so Steve is off work and we can be together.

Waiting for pregnant woman to be more gracious and less selfish. (I hate my Doctor's Waiting Room. Everyone is there is so...so...terrible.)

Waiting for pictures to upload onto Shutterfly. It's taking forever!

Waiting for the weather to get cool again. Like, Fall cool, not Winter cool. I don't look forward to the Winter, actually.

Waiting to see Inception again. (It was AMAZING.)

Waiting for my Family Reunion on the 28th. It's going to be so much fun.

Waiting to have sushi again. I miss it.

Waiting for tomorrow morning, cause I can watch everything that is going to record on TV tonight.

Waiting for next week's episode of Hair Battle Spectacular. It's...so...wow. Just wow.

Waiting to see that little face and get to know her. My Doctor seems to think it's going to be another week. So she may be coming out right on or around her due date, which is the 18th. So....

Waiting for you all to go to this new Etsy Store, Heather Ann Handmade. Do it. NOW.

Waiting for some munchies. Seriously, Shutterfly, hurry up or I'm about to eat my hand.

That's about it!
♥ Maggi

Sitting At The Library With Mom & Michelle

2010-08-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

Hey loves!

So here's some randomness in my life as of late:

I'm slowly working through Buffy and loving every second. Also, were those clothes ever popular? Ugh, I hate how dated some shows are because of hair and clothes. It's just so weird. Also...Xander was annoying. There. Said it.

Mom and Michelle went to my cousin's wedding over the weekend up in Los Olivios. I'm so bummed I didn't get to go because it sounded like they had a blast. But I was home, making a baby, so it didn't work out. Sads.

I'm convinced that Natalie is going to be here within a week. Either coming down the pipe properly or here in my arms. A week from today, so August 11th. She's currently sticking a knee into my side. Ow. Stop that, Kid!

I love Megan and Tracy for coming up with Operation Nackstraction.

I was at my Doctor's office the other day and saw an ad for the most rediculous and hilarious medicine ever. This is so priceless, I'm sure it has to have been created by the writers at 30 Rock. It was this.

I laughed so hard. Vagifem. I mean, come on! Obviously they went with the first name to come to mind, and it sounds so fake and so hilarious, I can't stand it. I posted it on Twitter and we had a blast talking about it. Vagifem. By Dr. Leo Spaceman.

I love being a woman sometimes. We get the hilarious end of the stick.

What else is going on in my life....um...it's been pretty boring.

If you ever need to feel better about the choices you have made in your life, spend a couple hours watching Maury. It does wonders for one's self worth.

The other day, the State Disability Office called me and asked: "Was your disability (pregnancy) caused by your job?"
It was hard not to laugh loudly. I answered, "No."
I think that's the best question I've ever been asked by anyone ever.

I wrote a post on my phone the other night about how I'm letting go of someone and how imporant it is to me and blahblahblah. Then I lost it. It's really not that important, and it was kinda lame of me in the first place. Maybe my phone and Blogger knew that. Oh well. Such as life.

And that's all she wrote. I'm hungry and it's time to go.

Leave me comments and love! I enjoy opening my email and seeing new comments on my silly blogs. Even you people who read my blog but don't comment, you don't need an account through Blogger in order to do that. I'm talking to you.

Now what to eat?
Tata!
♥ Mags♥

Ahhhh, Maternity Leave...It's Nap Time

2010-07-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends!

So I'm in for my weekly or so blogging session. At the In-Laws, doing laundry, stuffed on home cooking, baby taking a food coma or enjoying the corn in the cob I ate, and all is well.

So what have I been up to in a week?

Well, A lot of resting. A lot. Like, I don't really get up and out of bed for some time. I've managed to leave the house every day this week, so there is, you know, getting dressed involved. But mostly it's just been catching up on TV and movies and sleep and reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. So, you know, it's been grand.

What energy I do get is devoted to Nesting...but not that crazy, 'clean the whole apartment twice' nesting, but the, 'Tend to The Kid's room because it is still somehow a mess' kind of nesting. The episodes last about an hour and then go away for three days.

On Monday I went to my doctor's appointment, only to be told that the ultrasound I had gotten on the following Monday showed signs that my amniotic fluid was too low, so I should go get another ultrasound right away. Cause if it was really too low, they would have to induce me. Last Monday. Crap.

So after my appointment, and my Doctor being really reassuring about the fact that it was likely nothing, Steve and I went to The Dreaded Hospital (Where they gave me a shot in a supply closet) and had to wait for a long time before they figured out what to do with me. In the end, they strapped me to a fetal monitor for 30 minutes, and after that and an hour wait, I got an ultrasound that was so long I feel asleep. Finally, it turns out, that everything is fine and I didn't need to worry or be induced.

Turns out the Stupid Ultrasound Tech from the Monday before saw that the fluid was low, but didn't check to see why. It was all inside The Kid, and we're healthy and fine. Still, she's a dumb B and didn't bother to check the whys and the hows, and instead just left me and Steve to worry for several, exhausting, hours. Thanks. You stupid B.

I'm three weeks away, by the by, from Operation Nackstraction. It's exciting. And nerve wracking.

Oh, and the Labor is called Operation Nackstraction, so if ever you see a post with that title, as I can blog from my phone (It takes forever though, so it'll be a short post), you'll know that I'm going into Labor. Fun!

Well, I should check my laundry and go hang out with the family. So this is just a quick update. Thanks for all the emails and comments, they make my day even if I don't reply to them. And I've been keeping up with your blogs as much as I can on my phone, so I'm glad everyone is well and I miss you and my little Internet world.

It gets boring, lying about all day. Hurts too. But I'm getting by, and still so very much enjoying myself. Yes.

Tata, my loves!
♥ ♥ Mags

Maternity Leave To Do List

2010-07-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it was my last day of work today. And…I’m not going to lie…Thank the good Lord it was because damnit, was it getting rough on me. And yes, I’m ditching out on my coworkers during the busiest time of year…but that’s not my fault. There’s a time line my daughter has to adhere to, and it just happens to be super inconvenient for the Text Book trade.

Anyway, all that aside, I’m going to be out of work for about 10 weeks, give or take a few depending on Natalie’s timing. Both Steve and I have sat down and asked her to give Mommy a bit of time off before she comes, but it’s hard to tell if the message has been received. I think she’s dropping, which is both a good sign (Yay! I can breath and eat again! And heartburn isn’t as bad!) and a bad sign (They say it happens about two weeks or so before the kid comes. I really want time to rest some!).

But while I’m off, there are things I really want to do. And they are:
☞Finish her room.
It’s a bit of a mess after the baby shower. There are bags of diapers everywhere, clothes that need to be washed, beer making equipment that needs to be moved, things to be gotten still, art to hang, etc. It’s going to be an undertaking, for sure.

☞Sleep on my couch for at least two days.
At least. And This is a combined nap time, not straight. Though I plan on spending at least all of Monday and Tuesday on my couch, with the fan on, watching horrible day time TV, and slipping in and out of dream land.

☞Catching up on my DVR.
There’s like 8 episodes of Doctor Who I need to watch and old reruns of The West Wing and So You Think You Can Dance and Kathy Griffin and so many, many more hours of useless, mind numbing television for me to veg in front of. It’s going to be great. Though, from what I’ve heard, I’ll need a lot of tissue for Doctor Who.

☞Netflix the ENTIRE series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Because I want to. And I have the time. And I can.

☞Write.
I need to hunker down to work out time lines, character arches, plots, worlds, descriptions, death scenes, weddings, etc, etc, etc. In other words, my main complaint about writing is that I don’t have the time. Well…now I do. So I’m going to use it. And by use it, I mean it’ll take place entirely in my head and not an ounce will be put down on paper. Because something get’s lost between my brain and my fingers. If you cracked open my elbow you’d find years of good, decent writing. (Note: PLEASE don’t crack open my elbow. I imagine that would hurt.) But we’ll see. I look forward to putting in some decent effort to Don and Gwin Story 1.

☞Sleep.
So. Much.

☞Clean my apartment.
This is a pipe dream, but let’s just pretend that I’m being serious. It’s actually Steve who will be cleaning the apartment.

☞Read.
When I can, where I can, if I can. I have a stack of books to pick up again.

☞Finish my latest paint by numbers.
It’s pretty and I want to hang it in Nat’s room.

☞Find where all the spiders are that keep getting in and DESTORY them.
I’m not kidding. If I find a spider anywhere near my kid, I will raze this valley to dust in my quest to rid the world of all spiders. People will ask for years, “What happened to spiders? How did they become extinct?” And they will point to my picture. I am not messing around here. Spider death = Maggi.

☞Cut my bangs.
I’m letting them grow out so that I can pin them back while in labor. I have a serious thing about sweaty hair sticking to my face and not being able to brush it away. So I plan on having my hair pinned within an inch of its life, under a handkerchief of some sort. But since I’m letting them grow out, they have gotten long enough to be in my eyes and they sometimes declare war on my face and fight back. This was them yesterday, while I was at work.

So as soon as I can, they are going back to being short enough to stay out of my way. I will fight back, Bangs!

☞Start up on my Wii Fit again.
After the kid comes, of course. Mama’s going to get healthy for her baby. It’s only right.

☞Phone calls!
To so many old friends.

☞Hang out with Natalie.
We need to get to know each other, after all. I mean, we’re kinda important to each other, so we should at least sit down for a heart to heart chat. At least, I’ll do the talking, she’ll likely drool at me and then poop. I expect nothing less of my little girl.

☞Just rest.
As much as I can. I mean, in a few weeks my body is going to be doing some amazingly awesome and painful and frightening and bad ass things. So I should rest up for that. Also, after the kid, I know I’m not going to be able to rest all that much. Hence the reading, the TV watching, the general filling the time between naps and feedings and diaper changes and visitors and tending to and all that other stuff that comes with a baby.

So that’s the plan. There will be a bit more, and maybe a bit less, but we’ll see. There’s a Saar Family Reunion on August 28th, which is going to be way, way too much fun. Hi family! Meet the kid! And Michelle will be in town for so long, which is great. And her and my mother are going on all sorts of awesome day trips that I won’t be able to go on, being all pregnant and stuff. And it’s hotter than hell in the desert, so there will be so much time spent in front of a fan or the AC. And of course the birth, which will be ridiculous in so many ways. And movies to watch and music to listen to and naps to take and diapers to change and things to do and people to see and a kid…a beautiful, lovely little kid, to introduce the world too.

I can’t wait.

Since I’m going to be out for a while from blogging and such, and since I only Facebook on my phone, and because some of you don’t use Twitter and my profile is totally private anyways, if you want to contact me you can at maggisaar@yahoo.com or you can send me a small email to get my cell number and we can talk on the phone or text. Cause I love doing that sort of stuff.

So I’m off to start my sweet, sweet maternity leave. Leave me some love, won’t you?
Tata!
♥♥♥Mags♥♥♥

My Baby Shower Or Getting "Pushed" In A Pool...At My Baby Shower

2010-07-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Lovelies.
Did you all have a good weekend? Cause I sure did. It was…overwhelming. And perfect.

I could write for hours about what happened at my baby shower in great detail, but instead I’ll just list it out, to save us all a wall of words. I promise that pictures will come later and as soon as I can get/gather them. A few will be in here, of which I stole from Joelle Nicol. I was too busy to take any of my own.

Saturday morning was strange. Like, the morning before my wedding strange. It’s just a weird feeling, the quiet moments before a big celebration. Sitting on my couch, cuddling with McLovin’, having not slept well the night before. I’m not going to lie, I was feeling crazy, and was sure that no one would show up, no one would care, and no one would give gifts. (Remember who you’re dealing with, I’m 100% insane crazy person.)

Michelle took me shopping for the perfect Baby Shower outfit on Friday night. It really was adorable, and made me look SUPER pregnant. Being that I am 9 months along, I guess it was fitting. After getting ready with Steve, and maybe acting a bit crazy still, we left for my friend Jayme’s house to help set up.

The hour before people were to arrive was, again, crazy. I rambled a lot. Maybe snapped at a few people. Maybe should have eaten more. We’ll skip this.

People began showing up, and for an hour it seemed like every time I’d give someone a big ol’ hug and say hello, gush over them being there, I’d have to rush off to greet more people. I was told consistently that I should have sat down and waited for people to come to me, but Hosting is in my blood, and I might have ran myself a bit thin. Before I knew it, the house was filled with people, friends, lovely family and lots of laughter.

Boyfriends should learn that if their girlfriend is making the cake, they should not use her phone and send an otherwise insane pregnant woman a text 5 minutes before the party is to start that, “Something is wrong with the cake. Are fixing. Will be there soon.” This doesn’t help the crazy, RANDI. Sheesh. ;-) Love you, Randelson…you have a girl’s name.

The cake did show up, looking AMAZING, and it stopped the whole party. I mean, stopped dead. Here’s why.

Isn’t it beautiful? My friend Christy outdid herself in every way. And I am still floored by it. The wee woman is a madhouse of cake awesomeness. And one day you’ll all know the name Christy Drylie in terms of simply phenomenal cakes.

And that whole thing is cake. The beehive, the pie, the tree was rice crispy treats, the grass was icing.

The cake, I should mention…melted.

It was 105+ degrees outside, and with 50 people in a room talking and body heat…it had to have been like 95+ inside. The pie filling, which was raspberry sauce, on top of fondant…well…it didn’t stand a chance and that was my fault. Christy’s construction was perfect, it was just a matter of those materials are not meant to hold up in that sort of heat.

Christy still made one awesomely amazing cake.

I barely ate a thing as I went from person to person, making sure everyone was tended to, happy, fed (go figure), mingling, and otherwise enjoying themselves. I’m a damn good Hostess. Steve was a good Host as well, and honestly, I barely saw him as he came and went to other people. It was simply amazing to see all these people I dearly love, and who dearly love us, come together for the Kid. Totally. Awesome.

I made an off handed remark to the wrong person about getting pushed into Jayme’s pool. It comes back to haunt me.

Eventually I was told it was time for gift opening, and was told where to sit, how to do it, and it was…overwhelming and amazing. Many clothes…so many, many clothes, some adorable handmade ones at that, lots of very useful baby gifts, blankets, toys, books, stuff for me, a rocking chair, a never ending bucket of things, handmade booties, things that made everyone go “AWWW!”, two 'I'm With Coco" bracelets, lots of laughter, and many wonderful, gracious things from many wonderful, gracious people.

I honestly don’t know what’s going on here, but it’s a funny picture.

Thanks to Dionne’s great idea of holding a raffle for diapers, we also got a crap load (Pun intended) of nappies for our wee one. My friend Leighanne won the $25 Target dollar gift card at the end of the day. Yay!

I did not know but while opening presents, Bryan wrote down several things I said that would eventually become “What Maggi said to Steve the night Natalie was conceived” which he then read aloud. I was crying I was laughing so hard. As was everyone else. I actually was more embarrassed for Steve, because his parents were sitting right there, but…it was a riot. Gems like, “Of goodness gracious!” “It smells so good!” “Steve, you’ve done your job already.” “Those hurt!” “Thank you!” and other things like that. Oh, goodness.

We finally busted into the cake, and it was delicious. And the beehive is still sitting in my fridge. I want it right now, actually. Mmm…cake….

After cake, and after many of my wonderful friends had to leave for the day, I was all of a sudden being forced outside by The Nicol’s. So Bryan, his sister Laura, and his mom Joelle Lee, drug me to the pool. I only half protested. I did protest that they wanted to throw me into the deep end, so instead I let them walk me/push me into the shallow end with the stairs. Gotta think of the kid, you know.

Yes, I got “thrown” in a pool at my own baby shower. Yes, I was beyond thrilled and happy about this. Because A) I did not want a traditional baby shower, 2) It’s damn funny and Drei)…coming from the Nicol’s, I expected no less. I would have done it to one of them.

And I did. I pulled Laura in, Bryan jumped in, and Steve eventually hopped in as well. It was wonderful.

Steve came in with his cheeseburger still dry. The goof.

After we dried off, we helped Jayme and her family clean up. We dismantled the cake, which was a hilarious and quite messy undertaking, we talked and laughed and enjoyed a wonderful end to the day. The gifts were packed into Steve’s parent’s car, and after a lovely day, we left. When Steve and I got home, we helped unload the gifts, I flopped down on the couch, after changing out of my still slightly damp clothes, and Steve went out to get us dinner at our local taco shop.

So a big, big thank you to everyone who came to the party, took part in any way, and helped make our Saturday blessed, beautiful, and so happy. Thank you for loving us, but more so, thank you for loving our little Natalie. She is already so blessed, she has no idea, she is one lucky little girl.

And a giant, giant THANK YOU to Jayme Powell and her family. My goodness, you guys are amazing. I can’t even begin to say how much it meant to me, all the love, care, and detail they put into this party. Janelle, Joel, Jill and Curtis, thank you. I shall never forget this kindness or love. Your family is beautiful, your home so welcoming, and your pool felt great! A thousand times, thank you.

James, you are one of the best friends a girl could ask for. You made my day perfect, and I shall love you forever. It’ll be payback at your bachelorette party. ;-)

And that was that! I was up too late on Saturday, spent too much energy going through my baby shower bounty on Sunday, spent the entire day on the couch, had a nice visit with Luster, and pizza for dinner. It was a good weekend. A good weekend indeed.

Much love to you all!
♥ Mags

Of What's To Come

2010-07-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

Hello!
I’ve been busy/lazy/on my couch half asleep/in bed asleep/eating a lot of tacos lately so I haven’t been up to date with my blog.

And it’s going to get worse. So bare with me.

My Baby Shower is this Saturday, so I promise at some point I will blog pictures/stories about that.

My lifelong best friend Michelle is coming down from Seattle today to hang out for the shower/my final push/the birth of the kid. There will be much silliness to be had, I’m sure. I can’t wait.

My Maternity Leave is starting so very, very soon. THANK YOU JESUS. Work is getting rough, my brain is melting, and the stress is too much to bare. So soon it’ll be nothing but rest and nesting for me. And hanging out with Michelle and washing baby clothes and tending to things at home.Yeeessssssssss.

Because of all of this, and my lack of a home computer/internet, my blog is going to suffer somewhat. When, as usual, I’m at my mom’s house/a friend’s house and can blog, I will. But there will be some gaps. Bare with me, sweet friends.

And of course after She comes I will write and post what can only be a completely ridiculous birth story that, knowing my life, will somehow involve mean nurses, random paperwork mix ups, and at least one badger. At least one. Maybe more. I look forward to writing it.

So that’s about all for now. I have to get back to preparing for things to come. Or, really, for my daughter to come. It’s an insane time of my life, friends. But a really beautiful one.

Leave me some love!
♥Mags

PS, if you're ever down for a laugh, Type Wilford Brimley into Google Images. I laughed. LOUDLY. It's mean but...damn it's funny.

In Which I Nerd Out Over The Emmy Nominations

2010-07-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

Because I’m a Pop Culture Nerd, because all my other posts have been life, baby, and family lately, and because, well, hell, I can.

Join me after the break for a bit of total TV nerdiness. Lost, 30 Rock, Conan O'Brian, and Carl Pilkington within.

I don’t get people who don’t watch TV. There, I said it. I watch too much TV, if anything, and the thought that other people don’t…because they are too busy or don’t want to dumb themselves down…well, ok, I get that. But people who just don’t want to watch TV? They are missing out! There is a box in almost every one’s front room and the glowing, flickering images tempt you in and there are some damn good, and damn horrible, shows out there. It’s fun to get sucked into them. Sure, cultured people don’t watch TV but there is a whole new modern culture out there, Pop Culture, and people who don’t know it are left behind.(Note to self: STOP SAYING CULTURE!)

So, the 2010 Emmy Nominations were announced today, and being that I was up early enough to watch them (Thanks, Work and 5:20AM alarm clock), I got to enjoy seeing them live. Here are my thoughts on some of the ones I care about:

The Majors:
Best Drama:
Lost is the only one that matters.
I don’t watch Breaking Bad, True Blood, The Good Wife, or Mad Men and I’m over Dexter. And, let’s face it, although Season 6 of Lost sucked it preeeeetty hard, it still was amazing and that final episode was just breath taking.

Best Comedy:
If Modern Family or 30 Rock win, I’ll be thrilled.
I don’t get Curb Your Enthusiasm and think they nominate it every year just because. I don’t watch Nurse Jackie, but what I’ve seen doesn’t seem funny. The Office is not funny anymore. It isn’t. It’s awkward and strange and just…God, I hate Dwight so much. The dead horse they have been kicking on that show for ages is really starting to smell. As for Glee…I…I loved it. I loved it at first. It was amazing. Then it went on a 4 month break, I stopped caring, and the show didn’t rope me back in. Sorry, Glee. We’ll always have your first half season.

Modern Family is a RIOT and 30 Rock is the single funniest show on TV, but they have won a lot already. So either could get it, but I hope Modern Family does.

Best Mini-Series:
The Pacific will win it, but I’m just going to say it wasn’t nearly as good as Band of Brothers. And nothing ever will be. Also, the actors weren’t nearly as hot in The Pacific as they are in Band of Brothers. One name: Damian Lewis. BoB wins it always and forever.

Actor in a Drama:
I don’t care. Really. Matt Fox won’t win it because he was useless and sobbing through 99% of all of Lost. Sure, he was badass in the finale, but still, it doesn’t make up for it.
How does Hugh Laurie keep getting nominated? House hasn’t been good in ages. And he won’t win. So way to waste a nomination, Emmy’s. If Michael C. Hall takes it, good for him. He is amazing as Dexter, even if I don’t watch it any more. And Jon Hamm should be given awards because he is damn pretty. Do not deny this.

Actress in a Drama:
Zzzzzzzzwhat?

Actor in a Comedy:
Alec Baldwin must win this.
Here’s why: Jim Parsons just makes stink face and I’m 95% sure he’s a girl. Larry David is just a mean old man and not funny. Matthew Morrison should not win for all the rapping he’s done on Glee. Steve Carell, although wonderful, phoned it in last season and, again, The Office isn’t funny anymore. And how the hell does Tony Shaloub keep getting Emmy Noms?! Monk ended like 4 years ago! I don’t get it! Can someone, anyone, explain this to me?!

Alec is hilarious on 30 Rock, and yes, he’s won like a billion times for it already, but he still owns over all these people.

Actress in a Comedy:
Amy Poehler should get this. If not her, than Tina Fey.
Lea Michelle was more annoying in Glee than funny. And yes, she has a voice that kills, but, come on, this isn’t best singer in a comedy. I haven’t watched the other shows, but I’m just against Toni Collette in whatever she does.

Tina is a comic genius, and I love her brain. But Amy is right behind her in terms of brilliance, and she deserves some love from the rest of the world. I quote Amy at least once a day. I’m not kidding.

Supporting Actor in a Drama:
Michael Emerson should win this. Terry O’Quinn will win this.
The rest don’t even matter and won’t even win. Emerson was, and has been, the best damn actor on Lost. Ben, love him or hate him, commanded your attention every moment he was on screen. And yes, he was a bit whipped in the last season but I blame the writers. He continually broke my heart, made me hate him, made me love him, made me slightly mad with lust over him, and in the end turned out to be one awesome character. He is only second in badassness to Terry. He’s won once before, but if he got it again, there will be tears. And they will be mine.

Terry will win it, because he absolutely MURDERED it as Flocke/Locke last season. Even if he had one severe case of Mittie’s going on there. LAX Land Locke was a bit of a sad sack, but Flocke was so fantastic, that…well…it doesn’t matter. He was the ultimate badass in Season 6 and I swear on all good things, if one of these two men don’t win this category, I will be breaking something. And if Terry wins, he’ll be so gracious, sweet, and will acknowledge Michael in all his awesomeness. And I will cry.

Supporting Actress in a Drama:
I really don’t care.
Sharon Gless is great in Burn Notice, and Christina Hendricks is so damn beautiful she should be given awards.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy:
I’m hoping for the guys from Modern Family. Any of them. They are all great.

But really, Emmy’s, REALLY with Jon Cryer? Note to the world: Two and a Half Men IS NOT FUNNY. It isn’t. Stop pretending it is. If anything, the kid should be getting the awards and the paycheck, not Charlie Sheen or Jon Cryer. Because he’s actually not half bad. But if that fool Cryer wins over genuinely funny people, I will break my TV. And I love NPH, but it’s about damn time that proud gay man stops playing a super straight character and just go Mo. Also good for Chris Colfer from Glee. I do LOVE Kurt so.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy:
With the exception of the chick from Two and a Half Men, if any of these ladies won, I’d be fine.
The two Modern Family actresses should get it, because they rock. Jane Lynch will get it because even though Glee can kinda suck, Sue is awesome. And Jane Krakowski is brilliant on 30 Rock. So, you know, whatever.

The Randoms:
✔I LOVE that Conan O’Brian got a nomination for Best Comedy Verity Program. LOVE IT. Because this Blog, in case you didn’t know, is Team Conan all the way. Jay Leno can suck it. What NBC did to Coco was an outrage and Leno should have just left when he had the chance of not being remembered as a massive douche bag. And if Conan wins, and gets to take the stage? That speech will be so epic and priceless, I don’t even know what to think.

Also, when his name was announced, the audience at the Nominations all made a “Oooooo” sound, like they were all cringing. It was nothing short of hilarious.

✔Betty White is nominated for a slew of things, because she’s Betty Motherf***ing White. Her Snicker’s commercial is up for a nod, as are her hosting duties on SNL. I contend that she had better win that one, for her use of the words “Lesbian” and “Muffin” alone.

✔Castle is up for a few things, all for the Halloween episode where Nathan Fillion dressed like Mal. They are random things like hair and makeup. I think it’s the Emmy’s way of congratulating Firefly. A girl can dream. And Castle had better win.

✔Both South Park and The Ricky Gervais Show are up for Best Animated Show. I’m personally pulling for Ricky Gervais, because of my beloved and hilarious Carl Pilkington. If you have not seen or know of Carl, than you need to remedy that right quick. He’s brilliant. And it is my dream that the show will win, and they will let Carl give the thank you speech. It’ll last 45 minutes, as long as someone ties up the music conductor, and it will span 9 topics and Ricky’s laugh in the background will be amazing. This needs to happen. I would die with joy if it does.

✔There is a reason that Lost is not up for Outstanding Casting in a Drama. And that reason, of course, is Kate. Because her uselessness is a plague and there can be no cast ever that wins any award for casting if she’s on it. God, I hate you Kate. I hate you so, so much.

✔Also, if Michael Giacchino does not win Best Score for his work on Lost’s finale, I might have to stab someone. Because his music was so perfect, it made me cry.

✔Kathy Giffin deserves more Emmy’s. Get on this people.

✔And, seriously, TV Gods, let Conan O’Brian and Carl Pilkington win some damn Emmy’s and give speeches, because nothing on this planet will be more awesome than that. You mark my words. NOTHING.

The Snubs:
HOW did Community not get anything?! How?! It's one of the best shows on tv, it's funny as hell, and the acting and writing is fantastic. I mean, come on, did any of you see the Paintball episode? It was one of the most amazing 30 minutes of TV ever. EVER.

Parks and Rec deserved every nomination that The Office got, because Parks and Rec is a hilarious show. The Office, really, is not.

That's about it on the snubs. I still love that Jay Leno got nothing. Because he deserves nothing. Ever.

Ok, ok, enough with the pop culture silliness. I just miss writing about it.
What are your thoughts? Give ‘um!
Love!
♥Mags

Our New Crib

2010-07-05T17:33:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, the third piece of furniture Steve and I have bought as a couple, was our Daughter’s crib. Seriously. This weekend we went out and were able to get the one we wanted, we took it home, set it up, and it will remain only the third time we’ve done that.

Sure, we’ve been given furniture…his parents gave us a great new bed, his grandparents gave us our couches, we’ve been given TV’s, tables, a hutch, and all sorts of other things. But in over 4 years of being together, we’ve only bought two shelves and a crib. How odd is that?

On Saturday, after catching up with my dear friend (And terrible Prom Date) Chris for several hours, Steve and I drove to our local Super Target and picked up our new crib. There was only one left in the Victor Valley (score) and it was on sale (SCORE!), so we staked our claim and had to call in his mom to help us get it back to our house. After making some room in Nat’s room (It’s still a mess but slowly coming together), we tore into the massive packaging and started taking out the pieces.

I sat back with camera in hand while Steve tended to the putting together of the baby bed. It was a strange process. Not that it was hard to put together…in fact, Steve asked at one point what Dad’s have been complaining about for so long. It’s just weird because…well…it’s our Baby’s bed. This thing will be with her for ages. It’s one of those 4-in-1 beds so once she’s outgrown a crib, it’ll be a toddler bed, a day bed, and can be turned into a full. This piece of furniture is Natalie’s first…and it’s strange.

And I cried. Of course I cried.

Once the thing was set up, we marveled at it, what a lovely thing it was, and we placed some stuffed animals in it. Now we have to get the mattress, and the bedding (*coughcough*We’reregisteredatBabiesRUsUnderMaggiSaar*coughcough*), and we’ll have some place for our wee baby to sleep!

In just over 6 weeks. Cause, you know, I’m 8 ½ months pregnant. And feeling every moment of it today.

Here are some pictures!

Steve starting out like a good husband and father.

This is how it'll look as a Toddler/Day bed.

Our finished crib! And if you look closely, some of our nerdy things on the shelf.

From L-T that’s James, Pudgy The Polar Bear, and Natalie’s as yet to be named pink teddy. Also Spot and Beaker. I’ve had Spot since I was 4 or 5, and Pudgy since I was 8. James and Beaker came to me in high school. James is soooooo soft. And Beaker is my Muppet equivalent.

Oh, and I got bored and Mad Men’ed Steve and I again. How cute are we? Sometimes I wish I was a 50’s housewife. I think I would have had fun with it. I mean, if Steve and I were Steve and I. Of course.

And that’s about it. My Baby Shower is on July 17th, my lifelong best friend Michelle Newman is coming down shortly before and staying for the birth of her little niece, my darling and favorite Mo, Bryan is leaving for Japan for a year at the end of July, and work is ever busy, crazy, and alternating FREEZING cold/HOLY GOD hot. Fun times!

What’s new with you?
Loves!
♥♥Mags

Recent Joyful Randomness

2010-06-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!
How’s is going?

Well, things are coming along as they are. Been having a bit of crazy in our life as of late, and I’ve been so busy, that it is hard to blog. Thank you for the kind notes and sweet thoughts on the last post…sometimes it’s best to get the crazy out, you know! I have faith in my mothering, but am terrified along with it. I think it’s how I’m supposed to feel. But anyways, onward with life! Here are some tidbits of my life as of late:

♦ First off, the Amazing Tracy, who I adore more and more with every bit of communication between us, presented me with a new Accolade last week. It’s the Sunshine Award for always leaving her comments that make her day. How sweet is that? I try to leave her sweet comments, but more so I try to leave her ones that will crack her up. They have mostly been about vomit. The last one was about Umbilical Cord String Cheese. She still gave me an award for these comments, so it is proof of true friendship. Who knows what the next comments will be about? Possible black market heart surgery and Honey Nut Cheerios. These things cannot be guessed. All the same I simply love this girl, and it that award made one crappy day a bit more bright. So thanks again, my friend.

I’ll get around to giving out the award to the people who make me happy, but I’ll do that in another post.

♦ Steve’s first Father’s Day was wonderful. A friend picked up our tab at breakfast, we saw Toy Story 3, I cried all through and well after Toy Story 3, looked at paint samples for some old furniture in Nat’s room, hung out, and had a pleasant dinner whilst watching Sherlock Holmes. And the baby kicked a lot. It was a good day.

♦ Speaking of the Baby, guess what doesn’t rock? Braxton Hicks contractions. Or, as I call them when I get them and someone asks if I’m ok, “SQUEEZY PAINS!”. All the same, it’s a sign that everything is progressing, so it's all good.

♦ Steve and I took a Birthing Class on Saturday, and it was really, really informative. I’m very glad we did it and I know am more sure of my Birthing Plan. Like how I don’t want to get drugs, a c-section, or have to give birth at Victor Valley Hospital (The site of the infamous Shot Debacle). We were taught breathing techniques, Steve learned how to be the most awesome birthing coach ever, and massage tips, and a host of other important information that I really took to heart. I am not too afraid of the whole giving birth thing, because it’s natural and what my body was made to do. It may suck for a little while, sure, but in the end I’ll have my daughter so…bring it on. I want my kid, and I will do what I have to do to get her. So…

♦ After the Birthing Class I went in to get an Ultrasound, to make sure the Wee one is progressing well. I love seeing her, so I was down for the Ultrasound, until they told me I had to drink like 24 ounces of water an hour before and couldn’t go to the bathroom. … That’s like the WORST thing you could as a Pregnant Woman to do. So by the time we got to the imaging place, I was doing the dance and apologizing to the people who worked there for being rude but GET ME IN RIGHT AWAY, DAMNIT. Otherwise ya’ll are gonna be cleaning up a puddle! Steve helped me practice my breathing to take my mind off it, and they got me in pretty quick. Then the Technician spent ten minutes pressing down on my belly with the camera which…sucked. When I finally got to use the bathroom it was awesome. I’ll spare you the details.

But seeing her was great. We’ve now had three Ultrasounds that have confirmed she’s a girl. I’m still about 2% scared she’s going to come out a boy. All the same, we got to see a very clear image of her face, and man…if that isn’t my daughter, I don’t know what is. She apparently has my big, chubby baby cheeks that still haven’t gone away and my chin. Well, see for yourself. There’s my little Natalie. I can’t wait to hold her!

Also hearing her heartbeat makes my life a little bit better.

♦ I’m obsessed with String Cheese. I cannot and will not deny it. Also obsessed with eating Honey Nut Cheerios dry at my desk, because they are an awesome little snack. Along with the String Cheese. Also, yesterday all I wanted to eat was Pringles and a chocolate shake. I got both, both were awesome, but the cravings went then to chocolate pudding and French fries. I did not get those. I did eat more than just Pringles and a chocolate shake, but those items were not as tasty.

♦ I cannot wait for the new Twilight movie comes out, so that people can STFU about it. God, I hate those books/films/actors/Stephanie Meyers/Her cankle wrists. So. Much.

♦ We went to a Maverick’s Game on Friday with The Nicol’s and some good friends/people. It was alllll too much fun. Also it was Dollar Food night, so guess who got herself hotdogs, pretzels, snow cones, and nacho cheese? This girl. My tummy did not like the processed, delicious ball park food, but it was totally worth it. Especially the snow cone. Mmm, snow cone. I want one right now. It also made me miss New Castle Brown Ale, which…man…smelled so good. One day soon…one day soon….

♦ Steve set up the play pen, stroller, and car seat over the weekend. I teased him about how this is just the beginning of a lifetime worth of assembling items for our kids that have difficult, hard to understand directions. He spent a good 45 minutes ranting about how the car seat was supposed to go into a car with a buckle system that we don’t even have. He ranted just because if we did have that buckle system, he would have not understood the directions to put it in! Men, I tell ya. Still, he’s all, all too cute about this stuff, and keeps seeing how fast he can put together/take apart the play pen. God, I love that man.

♦ And finally, we found this on our bathroom floor last night.

I am…not pleased. I don’t think it’s a Brown Recluse, but it sure as hell looks like one. Also, he was huge and pissed off. And now he’s doubly dead. We sprayed poison on him AND Steve crushed him with his work boot. Take that, Spider, for being in my home. This makes me double insane for Natalie’s safety, and I will insist my Landlord spray for bugs. Of course, I keep getting the sensation that things are crawling on me, even at work, and it suuuuucks. I hate spiders. I hate big spiders. The only good spider is a dead spider, and God help my Landlord if I EVER find one on my baby. God won’t be able to help that spider. Because I will annihilate it.

… Can someone bring me 4 bowls of the pasta fagioli soup from The Olive Garden? And like 400 of their breadsticks? Because that would be awesome. Mmm…soup…

Best run, going to have my darling Heather McCool over in a bit for company and cheap Mexican food. I can’t wait.
Tata, my lovelies!
♥Mags

Of Mothering

2010-06-23T17:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sucked.

I don’t mean it was your average, run of the mill bad day. It sucked. Hard. And although I’ve had worse days, and I try really hard not to let them really destroy me…I let yesterday destroy me. Besides being mad busy and stressed at work, having a lunch break that was anything but easy and resulting in me scarfing down a cheeseburger with only 10 minutes left to do so, the 4 hours of work after lunch EXPLODED into crazy, Mexico lost their game in the World Cup, it took an hour for me to get home, and once I got home Steve told me that the battery in our ONE car was dying and we couldn’t fix it until today. On top of all of this? Our toilet was clogged. And we didn't have a plunger.

Excellent for the pregnant woman who has to pee ever 10 minutes.

Naturally I dissolved into insanity and tears, ranting about everything under the sun. I made Steve understand that, um, Sweetie, it’s barely 5:30 in the afternoon. What do you mean you can’t fix the battery until tomorrow? Call your dad, have him take you to I-Don’t-Care-Where Auto Store and get a battery and fix my $#@%&%*$@#!@! car. AND GET A PLUNGER WHILE YOU’RE AT IT.

He soon left and my Mom called to chat, so, again, naturally, I burst into tears and ranted to her about my crap day. And she ranted to me about hers. And as I was sitting on my couch, sure I was going to spend one uncomfortable afternoon by myself, depressed, and without a bathroom, I realized that I shouldn’t wallow in my self pity any more. So I asked Mom to come get me, take me to the Plunger Store, and told her I’d buy her dinner. So she did. She came and got me, we complained about our lots in life to each other, started to tell funny stories, started to laugh, wandered around stores to find a plunger (Um, Target, I appreciate your fancy, expensive Is-A-Plunger-But-Doesn’t-Look-Like-One Plungers. But for God’s sake, I’m not spending that much on something that clears my toilet. Have more of the simple, every day, cheap plungers please.) got Mexican food for dinner, went home, unclogged said toilet, ate (I washed my hands), and talked. And it was great.

Mom came to the rescue when I needed her to. Here I am, 25, 32 weeks pregnant, and I still need my Mom to rescue me. And I always will. And we all will always need our Mom’s to rescue us, because that’s what Mom’s do. And the more it sinks in that I’m now a Mom and one day I’ll be doing the rescuing…well…it’s just strange.

People keep telling me what a great Mom I’ll be, and I really appreciate the compliment and know that they really believe in it. But there’s so much more to being a great Mom than people just telling you that you will be. I worry about my Mothering skills. I worry about the things that could go wrong, the times I’m not there, the ways I don’t mean to but totally screw up my kid. Some people are deeply screwed up by their parents, and sometimes it’s over such little things! I know I already love my daughter so much it hurts and that I would do anything and everything to make her life amazing and happy. But…I guess I worry about...what if I fail?

I know I shouldn’t be worried about these things, but I am 1) a worrier and b) crazy. So how can I not be just the slightest bit concerned that I’m not going to be an awesome mom? I’ll try my hardest but…but…I worry too much. Hi, I’m Crazy, it’s nice to meet you.

My Mom is a pretty awesome Mom. Sure, there were moments…well…there have been moments. But those can’t be avoided. And although I’m not sure if I appreciated it then, but now I really see how much she did for us kids. To keep us fed, housed and in clothes. She worked her butt off for us, and it was stressful and there were times when it sucked. But I made it through all right. We all did. And we are all in a deep amount of debt to the woman for doing whatever it took for us. So thanks, Mom.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things in my childhood that could have ROYALY screwed me up. I won’t go into stories, but I can say there were some things pulled in my life that…well…I could be a lot worse off right now. And I don’t know when it was, or why, or even if it was a conscious decision, but at some point I had to have taken a look at my life, said to myself, “Well, I can let these things ruin me or I can use them to make myself stronger”, and I went with Option B. I didn’t dwell, I let these things roll off my back, and now I’m better and stronger for it. I came out of it.

But now I’m starting to look back on these things I used to laugh about and realize they are truly horrible experiences…but I can’t let them mess with me know. They happened, they’re done, they’re dead, gone, over…for years! Why are they invading my thoughts so much now? Because I’m about to become a parent? Well, screw that. I’ve dwelt long enough on things I never wanted to dwell on in the first place. So what, so I had a wacky childhood and my parents pulled some things on us kids that weren’t cool. It could have been worse. And all the bad parts of my childhood, even if I’m just now discovering that they were bad, have shown me what not to do to my own kids.

I don’t know. I’m not sure about much at the moment other than I just want to be a good Mom to my kids. And I’m pretty sure it’s normal to doubt yourself. After all, I’ve never been a Mom before. Not really. Sure, I’ve had pets but that’s…that’s just not the same. And since this whole Motherhood thing is coming so quickly down the pipe (Seriously, 8 weeks. 56 days. And that’s if she’s on time! It could be sooner!), I guess I’m just a little afraid. And a little nervous. And excited. And worried. And hopeful.

Man, am I hopeful.

I don’t know what this post means or if it just my normal way of writing out all the crazy that’s bundled up in this 5-foot-6 body, but…I guess…I’m being bold and sharing it. Most of these sorts of posts NEVER see the light of day. And it’s better that way. I keep them for myself and my own therapy. I get a little crazy, I write it out. It works.

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far than you deserve a cupcake, award, or Sting Cheese. Because I have been obsessed with String Cheese lately. It’s so good. And life is normal and things, although kinda crappy for a few days there, is fine. I mean, for all my troubles, it could be A LOT worse. I mean, I could be Heidi Pratt! *shudder* Besides, everyone has their Debbie Downer Days.

In the end, I know I’ll be a fine Mom, and I really look forward to the chance of doing/being so. I keep thinking that life will go back to normal after Natalie comes, but we all know that’s not true. Maybe my fears and worries will go away the first time I see her. Maybe they will triple, who knows. But I can’t wait to meet her all the same. If she already makes me laugh this much while in the womb, imagine how much she will once she’s out! The silly Girl.

But I know one thing, I will do whatever it takes to make her life as amazing as it possibly can be. And I will END anyone who ever so much as thinks about hurting her. And I will love her, so much, and forever. Because I already do. My little Girl. My little Bee. She’s going to be one amazing kid, and I’m going to do my best to be an equally amazing Mom.

Eight weeks, friends…only eight weeks to go…How is that possible?

All right, I’m off to the store to stock up on String Cheese and…breakfast sausage. Mmmm. Maybe we’ll have Brinner tonight….
Thanks to reading my rants. I love ya all.
♥Maggi

(I got a new Accolade! I promise I shall write about it on another date. This isn’t the post for it. All the same, thanks Tracy! You’re the awesomest.)

Cell Phone Pictures

2010-06-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

I love cell phone cameras. I still remember when I got my first camera phone and how EXCITED I was to finally have one. And all of my pictures…well…at least most of them…I would email to myself, so that I could keep them forever and ever. You know, because I’m a dweeb.

Sometimes I sit down and go through the old pictures, and laugh a lot. So many memories! Dating Steve, seeing bands, beautiful vistas, silly moments, moments that no one will ever see, our pets, our homes, our family, our friends. My Grandpa called pictures Time Bombs, and he is so right about that.

So here is a random collection of my old cell phone pictures, just cause. (Of course, these days cell phone cameras are better than real cameras. Back when these pictures were taken…not so much. So please forgive the crap quality of these pictures.)

Sometimes you have to go to a Lego Store and be a big kid.

Sometimes you have just too much fun with it.

One of my few Hole in Ones ever. Yay Mini-Golf!

Bryan, toasted off a bit too much champagne, on a booze cruise for his Mom’s birthday. I was equally toasted. (We discussed the philosophical aspects of Snakes on a Plane. I KID YOU NOT.)

A cat fetus. In a jar. On my friend’s counter. … Yep.

My brother MattSaar, possibly dropping the kids off at the pool. I’m not 100% sure, though.

Steve and Ricardo sled racing at some church we went to for a play with Dionne, ages ago.

My pal Dr. Prof. William Sheldon "The Thrill" Pattinson Esq. III of Phat Cat Swinger playing at a gig.

My darling Christy getting her tattoo.

The pool at a hotel Michelle and I once stayed at in San Diego. It was designed by the guy who played Tarzan. (I’m far too lazy to find out where this pool is and who the guy was.)

Me, cleaning at my horrible Baskin Robbins job.

Jessie, being a goof in the Swiss Country Side. (She sent me this.)

The Sand Castle I helped build that won 1st prize.

Beaker had tooooo much to drink. Poor Beaker.

My view from the ambulance when they took me in for my STUPID appendix. Wires everywhere!

This picture Steve took at his old job.

The Desert by work one stormy day.

The Post Secret I sent in. Stupid man.

I cannot and will not explain this one.

And finally…sometimes my purse got a wee bit silly.

So there you have it. Silly, random pictures from the last 4 years of my life. Good ol' Cell Phone Cameras. You never know what they'll capture. This might become a thing. I have quite a few.

Love to you all!
♥ Mags

Things About Nack 3

2010-06-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hello dolls.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted about my little girl like this, so here we go, shall we?

I LOVE feeling her move but HATE when she doesn’t. And on the weekends, she doesn’t. At least not last weekend. Like, Steve was about ready to take me to the hospital because she was so quiet all weekend. Then on Monday, she was using my insides like a jungle gym! The rest of the week too! I think she likes when I sit at my desk at work, because that’s when she’s most active. It worries me, but my unhelpfully helpful doctor says I have nothing to worry about. So…

Still, there have been a few times where I’m sure she’s head butting me as hard as she can. She also likes to kick Steve in the face when he listens to my belly. It’s sweet.

I have less than 70 days to go. I’m in my 3rd Trimester and 30th week. Can any of you believe that? Cause I sure as hell can’t. It seems like this whole baby thing went by so fast…and yet it’s TAKING FOREVER. I only have about 49 days of work left until my due date, and still don’t know what’s going on with this whole Maternity Leave thing. But I’m not as scared about it anymore, because Steve got a great job recently. So we won’t be trying to make it on just my disability pay, thank the Lord. Also, YAY STEVE IS WORKING AGAIN! It’s about damn time, and we’re so thrilled. (Of course, timing and life being how they are, his truck broke down last weekend so now we have two jobs and one car. Awesome!)

Heartburn is the worst, but I haven’t gotten it that bad. Not really. Maybe once or twice a day, and nothing Tums won’t help. Also, thank God for Tums! I had a bottle of a gross generic kind that I would often debate if I should just suffer with the heartburn or eat those disgusting little tabs. So last weekend I got a bottle of the Target Brand Tums, and they work great and taste like Pez. Yes. The weirdest things give me heartburn, too. Like fruit juice, and earlier today my PB&J.

Lately I’ve felt full ALL the time. Like…even if I’m hungry and know it’s been a while since I’ve eaten, I feel like I’m so full of food I just got back from a 4 hour binge at a Vegas buffet. I think Natalie’s hugging my stomach and causing the full sensation. It’s like she’s my own personal lap band! Cause I can barely eat half of what I used to before I’m After-Thanksgiving-Dinner-Full. (Mmmm, Thanksgiving dinner….) Also, I’ve only gained back like 5 of the 23 pounds I’ve lost, so I’m still SUPER thrilled with, you know, not being a total fatty like I was before and like I feared I’d balloon up into. I can actually fit into shorts and pants I couldn’t fit into before…if I keep them under my belly, at least.

As for the girls…well their pointed straight but getting a little bigger every day. Can no one on this planet make a comfortable bra for pregnant women? I mean, really, we can put a man on the moon but my underwire has to dig into me all the time? (Yes, I imagine I could go and buy some comfortable bras somewhere but damnit, I’m cheap and poor and would rather spend my money on a bag of pistachios and then complain about my stupid bra.) Also, I’m pretty sure you could serve soup out of one of the cups of my bra. I won’t test it, however.

We haven’t gotten Natalie’s room together yet, of course. But I hope to put a dent in it this weekend. I want to get her crib SO BAD. So very bad. Of course, it’ll be just an empty frame but it’ll be somehow a bit more real!

It cracks me up how many people insist on telling me all the ways I can accidentally kill my baby. I WISH I WAS JOKING. From things to avoid eating/going near while I’m pregnant to after the wee one pops out. It’s like, “Uh, thanks for not having any faith in my parenting? No, no, I was totally going to let my cat sleep in the crib with my newborn. Oh, that could possibly harm my child? You don’t say! I’d better not do that now. Thanks for the advice!” Really. REALLY. It’s a little annoying, and kinda ruins the joy of it for me. You’ll see, kids, when you get pregnant. Total strangers, friends, family members, and everyone else will tell you the best way to raise/have/birth/tend to your kid, and what to avoid doing/eating/touching/hearing while pregnant as to not kill your baby.

I have to pee. ALL THE TIME. It…sucks. Because almost every morning between 3:30 and 4:30 I wake up, after usually having a dream about water, and know I have to scuttle into the bathroom…but I know if I do, I will wake up totally and not be able to fall back asleep, and if it’s a week day, I have to be up at 5:15 anyhow. It…it sucks. I imagine it’s just going to get worse.

And…that’s about it. My little Bumble Bee is getting a little bigger every day. And every day is getting closer and closer to her coming to town. YES. Steve keeps telling my belly it’s ok to come early, and I secretly hope I go into labor on a weekend, as it’ll make not going into work so much easier. Part of me hopes she’ll be born on the 9th, cause then her birthday with be 08/09/10. And that’s just funny. And if I/she can time it right, we’ll go for 05:06:07 08/09/10. AM or PM, it doesn’t matter. Of course, she’ll come when she wants to come, and trust me when I say I’ll be drug kicking and screaming into any C-Section or inducing. I will cut someone if I have to. I will leave claw marks in the walls and floors if I’m forced into anything other than natural childbirth. (Unless there’s a harm to the baby, in which case I’ll go, but NOT quietly. Where ever you are, you will hear the faint sounds of my swear words as I’m taken in. You’ll say to yourself, “Why do I keep hearing faint F-Bombs on the wind? Who is that poor woman, cursing people with such anger?” That’ll be me. Oh, oh, that will be me.)

It’s time to jet, my friends. I think there’s a pile of dishes that aren’t going to wash themselves! But…oh…if only they could.
Tata!
♥♥Mags

PS. Natalie Kicks hello.:-)

Of Moving and This Weekend

2010-06-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Good Monday afternoon, my pretties.
How are you all doing today?
I'm doing great cause my coworker Denise awesomely surprised me with a box of Otter Pops in the work freezer that are ALL MINE. I'm so excited. She made my day and is my daily hero. YES.

Well, we’re all moved in to our new place, officially. And by officially, I mean we have our bed set up, our living room mostly put together, the kitchen organized, and that’s about it. Natalie’s room is a free-for-all hell hole of leftover stuff and other randomness. We’ll get it together before she comes, I promise. Also, our bedroom is a…well…let’s just say our clean clothes are in the laundry basket next to the bed, the dresser has a working TV on it and nothing else, the shelves are covered in books but not put together, and the closet…well…we’ll just ignore what’s behind those pale, ugly white doors.

Interestingly enough, the bathroom was the first room that was 100% put together, and we like it that way. We have priorities, you know. The bathroom is set up because it’s the most used room in the apartment. The living room and tv’s are set up because we need a break/entertainment/something on in the background while we work/eat/sleep. The kitchen needed to be put together, although that was a late Saturday deal, until then it was a bit of a mess. And we have to have somewhere to sleep. So all in all…we’re on track to being officially unpacked and moved in by the time we need to move out and find somewhere else to go. Cause that’s how we roll.

I like the new place well enough. I like how close it is to nearly every store/restaurant/bank/place we need. Honestly, if there was an AT&T near to us, we’d never again have to leave Apple Valley but for Work and In-N-Out (Which is only about…6 miles from us anyway, so…WIN. Work, on the other hand, for me at least, is about 7,000 miles away. Blerg). I like how quiet it is, and the natural light is to die for – honestly we don’t have to turn on lights until the sun goes down in any of the rooms – but at the same time it has it’s little quirks. I won’t go into those, but let’s just say they are not nearly as bad as the crap we had to deal with at our last apartment.

But we also won’t put up with them or give up trying to fight them, like we did at our last place. We’ve learned. We know better now.

Anyway, this last Saturday we woke up early, and while looking out the window of our bedroom and me apologizing for being crazy the night before, we decided we needed an escape. Last week kinda sucked. Like, really hard…so…we wanted to get away. You know when you don’t have much money but you don’t want to face your problems so you go and hide? That was us this weekend.

Well, we decided that a little trip to Big Bear was in order, so after going back to sleep for a few more hours and calling my Mom, who is our Big Bear Buddy, we hopped in the car later that morning and headed up the mountains. The drive up was more or less uneventful, and once we got up there the hopes for cool mountain air were dashed. It was hot! We didn’t get to go on our usual hike, as I’m feeble and pregnant, Steve is working again so he’s sore and he tore up his knee something fierce last week, and Mom is…well…she would have kicked our butts up and down that hill, but didn’t want to. So we went to the Big Bear Village instead, and wondered right into our favorite Indian Food place.

The Indian Food was epic and delicious, and totally worth the drive. It was even more worth it about 20 minutes later when my vision tunneled, I got extremely weak, dizzy, and flushed, and ended up throwing up my lunch into a paper bag as my Mom shielded me from passersby. Yep. AWESOME. I think my Number 3 was due to the altitude difference, the richness of the delicious food, the fact that breakfast was Mexican Rice and a doughnut (Shut up, I'm pregnant), and the windy drive up. Not to mention the heat. Once I voided lunch, I felt 100 times better, as you do. So…cest le vie.

We went and sat by the lake after that, as a lovely breeze picked up, Steve was my human umbrella, and we watched Fish do it in the water. No kidding. There was full on Fish Orgies going on. It was…nature, being nature, and being kinda nasty. I think I heard some Berry White coming from under there.

We spent only about 4 hours up there, but we had enough fun and enough of an escape, and when we returned we went grocery shopping and set up our kitchen. We had a blast with my mom, who is such a hoot and a great lady to go to those mountains with. We laughed a lot, especially at my throwing up. And if you’re ever in a position where you can’t make it to a trash can in time and don’t want to mess up the side walk, wax lined paper bags work wonders for voiding Indian Food into. Remember that.

Sunday was so utterly lazy, it was delicious. We worked a little in our room, did laundry, went to Target for socks and detergent, had a cold treat, watched 17 Again (Which is a hilariously adorable movie. Also, SO WHAT I have a crush on Zac Efron. He's cute as hell....shut up.), Jayme came over for finalized Baby Shower talk, and we watched the MTV Video Music Awards while I cooked dinner. I enjoyed the VMA’s, except for Twilight being everywhere. God, I cannot stress enough how much I HATE, viciously, undeniably, with such passion and utter contempt, HATE those Twilight Books and Movies. Dear God. Like, I hate it more than I hate Kate, and that’s saying something, ya’ll. Except, I have to admit when it won the best movie ever or whatever prize at the end, and that guy dropped the F-Bomb like 400 times and the censors only caught about 7 of them…that was pretty hilarious.

More importantly, though, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS PREVIEW. AND IT BLEW MY MIND. Yeah, TwiTards, it’s called good story telling. Check it out sometime. Try reading good books for a change. Oh, such hate. Anyway, HP7 looks fantastic, and after Natalie, it’s what I’m looking forward to most this year. My word, it’s going to be a tough movie to get through…both sections of it…what with all the destruction that goes on. And the deaths…my heart the deaths…

Anyway, it was a quiet weekend and I’m grateful for it. Pretty soon…in 72 days!...we’re going to have a baby and a lot less quiet of weekends. But also a lot more fun. So, I’m still super excited and thrilled. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat a sandwich and take a little break. Because I want to.
Ta!
♥Mags

B-Negative Update: I Got The Shot

2010-06-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

So, I got the shot.

After going to the hospital on Friday, and not getting it, and having to call and be a pest about it on Tuesday, I finally got the damn thing. And the story, if you thought it was random and silly before, got even worse. I love it.

Steve met me at to the hospital, where we walk in, and I tell the women at the front desk that I’m here for my shot, AGAIN. They allow me to go back to Labor and Delivery, right away. We walk down the hallway, to the big, guarded steal doors, and I pick up the phone, once again met by that utterly unfriendly voice.
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah, I’m here for a Rogham shot.”
“You have to turn around, go back to the front desk, and sign in before I can let you in.”
Damnit.
“No, I was here on Friday and you didn’t have all my paper work, I was told to come back…”
“Oh, that was you. Ok, come in.”
The door clicks open and Steve and I walk through, giving each other looks of, “Dear God.”

We’re met with Older Scowling Nurse, who is surprisingly smiley, and she remembers me…well, at least my face. I give her a smile and remind her of my last name (“Saar. S-like in Sam-A-A-R.”), and tell her that my Baby Doctor’s office should have sent over the required paper work. OSN goes hunting for it, and my file.

A woman is there, who has stomach pains and is very, very pregnant. She’s being checked in, and she is on Medicare. I am suddenly very, very grateful for my insurance through my job. I mean, if I didn’t have it, I’d be in her shoes, and scared out of my mind. I try to smile and be polite to her, helping her pick up something she dropped, but she isn’t having it. Ok…

After a few minutes, OSN finds my paper work. “Ah,” she says, “You’re B-Negative.”
“Yep!” I reply, giving Steve that, “Seriously, are you effing kidding me with this thing?” look.
“Ok, have a seat, it’s going to be a few minutes.”
“Ok.”
I sit in one of the chairs, the pregnant unhappy woman is in the other, and Steve is standing next to me. He’s looking sweaty, as he’s been working on the move all day, and I know for a fact he hasn’t eaten a thing. Well, maybe one McDouble, but not a whole hell of a lot. I take his hand, and because I’m awesome/proud/modern/determined to show I’m not weak because of my pregnancy (Unless it works in my favor), I offer to let him sit down. He laughs at me and tells me no, he’s fine. I try to engage him in small talk, but his mind is elsewhere, possibly on food.

All the while, from the other end of this unseemly huge maternity ward, we’re hearing a woman grunting in pain and lots of people standing around her counting to ten before yelling, “And PUSH!”

OSN is working on my paper work, before stopping and saying, “We may have to admit you again.”
“Um…ok.”
“You filled out all the paper work on Friday but today’s date is different, so we may have to admit you in again.”
I’ve given up at this point, having long since figured I was going to be in this hallway for the next 1000 years. “That’s fine. Do whatever you have to do, I’m ok with waiting.”
She smiles, maybe it’s what she wanted or needed to hear, and I remain seated, quietly taking in my surroundings. The pregnant woman next to me has to answer all sorts of questions, she puts on her gown, her partner shows up, looking guilty and nervous, and sooner than later she is taken away. I steal her seat, and give my seat to Steve.

After a while, I’m asked, “What’s your due date? How far along are you? Which pregnancy is this?” Sweet Lord. I answer in kind. A while passes, I’m asked this again. I answer, again. OSN calls around to see if they have to really admit me again, finds out they do, and the paper work comes my way. I sign and initial forms I don’t even read, but I don’t have to fill out a lot of paperwork, so win there, I guess. Finally, one of the nurses sits down with me.
“What’s your due date?”
I answer.
“How far a long are you?”
I answer.
“How many pregnancies have you had?”
“Still the only one.”
“No miscarriages, no abortions?”
“No, this is the only one.” I fail to point out that when I mean to say, “This is the only one”, I really mean to say, “THIS IS THE ONLY ONE.”
She asks about my height and weight, and suddenly I’m admitted into the hospital. Again. Hurray. I continue sitting there.

Over the next, oh…30 minutes of so, Steve and I sit and wait for someone to take my prescription to the pharmacy, get the drugs, and bring them back. Meanwhile, all the nurses are, at one point or another, bitching at each other about something. They complain about their jobs, the women there, whatever they possibly can. I’m referred to as “The Rogham Lady”, but they don’t bitch about me. One just asks every ten minutes or so what I’m going sitting there. But they don’t ask me. They ask someone else.
“What’s she here for?”
“That’s the Rogham Lady.”
“Oh.”

Meanwhile, we’re still hearing counting, a woman crying, and people yelling “PUSH!”. Visitors come and go out of rooms, people appear out of nowhere to tell the nurses someone needs something, the cleaning lady comes and goes, and every once in a while OSN smiles and tells me it should be any second.

FINALLY, they have the drugs, and this little Spanish lady takes me back through the Nurses Station, speaking in very, very broken English about where I am to go. In this thin hallway, there are 3 chairs with one pregnant lady, one father, and a guy covered head to toe in muslin are sitting and STARING at me. The Mummy guy freaks me out the most.
“Ok, we go in here cause there is no room.” The RN tells me, pointing to a door.
“I’m sorry?”
“We do it in here.”
The door she’s pointing to says “SUPPLY CLOSET” on it.
“I’m sorry, we’re doing the shot…in there?” I ask, pointing to the door.
“Yes, there is no room out here.”
“The supply closet?”
She just walks in and waits for me to follow.

I walk into the supply closet as she’s closing a little door to a bathroom. It’s your average supply closet…supplies, lockers, a bathroom, everything you need to give someone a shot.
“Why are we in here?” I ask.
“This it has everything I need.” She starts pointing out things that she might need, I’m staring at her in utter disbelief. Finally, she gives me a card with the drugs information, and starts to take the package with the drugs apart. She also is undoing a band aid and sticks it to the metal frame of the shelves we’re standing next to. Really.

“Ok, I have to do it back here.” She says, and she pokes my butt.
“You have to give it to me back there?” I’m deflated, a little bit, as I was hoping to get it in my arm.
“Yes, back there.” She pokes my butt, again. I should note that I’m not sure if she’s wearing gloves or not. I honestly don’t recall. “Pull your pants down.”
So I do. I give her the full slab of my right butt cheek. Here you go, darling, you’re about to be given my ass. I present her with the large, flat, pale white ghost of my bottom…

She prepares the needle, which I wish I could say is about 14 inches long. It isn’t. It’s normal.
“This no hurt,” she says, “Only hurts when the medicine goes in. The needle, everything done with lasers, it no hurt. Twenty one years ago, it hurt a lot more.”
I look away, and she lifts up my shirt and sticks the needle in me. In my back.
…
I’m standing there with half ass presented to her, like she asked, and she sticks the damn thing in my back. WHAT?! I give you a slab of bacon and you stick me in my muffin top?!

I turn and look, and watch as she pushes the plunger down, feeling a slight burning from the medicine going in. She then whips out the needle, has me hold a bit of gauze over the wound, and starts to tell me why she’s putting the band aid on, so I don’t bleed on my clothes. I’d rather know why I gave her ass when no ass was needed!
“You gave it to me in my back.” I tell her. She nods and makes an approving noise. “Then why did you want me to take your pants down? I gave you half my butt.”
She says nothing and pulls the band aid off the shelf, and I can see her looking to see where the thin, laser cut needle went in. She can’t find the hole. (Later that night, while I was in the shower, I took off the band aid. I noticed it was a full inch away from where the needle went in. I know this, because of the blood stain on my skin. Really.)

After a moment she shrugs, slaps the thing on me, and tells me I’m good, but I have to stay 30 minutes, in case I have some sort of reaction to the drug.
I smile, pick up my purse, and leave the supply closet, going back out to the hall by the chairs where the mother, the father, and the Mummy Man are sitting, staring at me. Dear God, I’m glad I didn’t just unnecessarily serve up half my ass to them too.

I rejoin Steve, and in the 75 foot walk from the supply closet to him, I’m laughing so hard I can barely stand. I have a seat, and tell him all about just what happened, where I got my shot, how much ass I didn’t need to give this woman. He laughs pretty hard too, and also sets a timer for the 30 minutes I have to wait until I’m allowed to leave. We sit, and talk, and giggle, and every five minutes I hear from the Nurses Station, “What’s the Rogham Lady still doing here?”
“She has to wait 30 minutes until she can go.”
“Ok.”
Five minutes pass. “What’s the Rogham Lady still going here?”
God.
Finally, my RN comes and tells me, “Ok, you can go now.”
“Um, it’s been 15 minutes,” I point out.
She studies my face intently. “Ah, you don’t look blue, you can go.”
WHAT?!

Steve takes my hand and pulls me away, and I thank the nurses…for more than they will ever know. On the way out we stopped and looked at two brand new babies, sitting in their little beds, screaming bloody murder while someone measured them. It suddenly becomes a lot more real that we will be there in less than 80 days.

But hopefully not there. Dear God, not at that hospital. Because if I had to get a shot in a supply closet, they will make me give birth in a conference room. I don’t want to give birth in a conference room. Please don’t make me!

So that’s the story of The Shot, The Supply Closet, and my Butt.
I hope you liked it.
♥♥Mags.

B-Negative (A Little Hospital Story)

2010-06-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hello!
Well, in the wake of two Lost posts, and being super busy…I have finally found the time to sit down and write about my little life and all that is going on with it. Yays!

So I have B-Negative blood. It’s rare, apparently, but although it is rare, my mom and three of my brothers have that same blood type. I’m praying the baby has it too…Hell, I’m praying all my kids have it. I mean, come on, if you have a rare blood type, it’s best to have a ton of family members who have it too, right? Also, I’ve known I’ve had B-Negative blood my whole life, because my mom is awesome enough to know that this is a piece of information that is very, very important to my life. You know, in case the need ever rises.

Anyway, since I have Negative blood, I have to get a shot on the off chance that my baby has Positive blood (Steve is Negative as well, at least he’s pretty sure he is). I have to get this shot during my 28th week, and that ends tomorrow. So my baby doctor, who is nice but a bit aloof, wrote the prescription ages ago, I had to wait for my insurance to approve it, and finally, in my 25th week, I got the ok to get the shot. Except I was just over 2 weeks early. So of course, in that time, the approval was lost/eaten/shredded/turned into a hat/used as toilet paper at the hospital my insurance wants me to use. (Not, mind you, the hospital that I want to go to ever/deliver at. The one they want me to go to has a bad reputation where I live, and it’s a very cold, unfriendly place. Also, when my Grandpa was dying I would visit him there, so that’s not a happy place for me.)

I went to the Doctor last week, and asked what it would take to get the shot. His response? “Just go to Labor and Delivery, get the shot, and go home.” Easy, right?
NO. No it’s not anywhere near that easy.

I get off work on Friday and head over there with Steve, dreading having to get a shot, we go in, sign in, fill out paperwork and of course I have to call to get the approval paperwork REFAXED. Finally we go to the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital, having already waited like 30 minutes, and have to pick up a phone to get this big, locked steal door to open. The voice on the other end is not…how do I put this…friendly. We walk down a freezing cold, dimly lit hallway, turn a corner, it’s dead silent, and have a seat next to the work station.

There are 5 nurses, all scowling, sitting perpendicular to me, and the nearest one…an older woman with a grim smile and no joy in her voice what-so-ever, takes my paper work and starts going through it. She’s also asking me questions, but she isn’t looking at me when she’s talking to me, so I have to ask her several times to repeat the questions, which annoys her.

“How far along are you? When’s your due date?” I answer, and the answer is relayed down to the 4 other women, who are also talking to me but the question has to be then sent back up the line so that I can answer. The nurse furthest from me asks, “Does she know her blood type?” The one in the middle asks, “What’s her blood type?” and when it gets to me, the older nurse half looks at me and says, “Blood type?”
I reply, because I’ve known my blood type since I could learn things, “I’m B-Negative.” This is then shortened and relayed back down to the nurse at the very end.
There’s some paper shuffling, and Older Scowling Nurse sighs; “There’s no blood type here. They didn’t send it to us.”
Me, “But I’m B-Negative.”
Older Scowling Nurse, “We need to know her blood type.” (You should note she’s sitting 3 feet from me, but pretending like I don’t exist.)
Me, “I’m B-Negative.” This goes entirely unnoticed.

There’s more paper shuffling and talking about me as if I’m not even there. Nurses do this, a lot, and it’s really rather disconcerting.
Nurse at the Very End, “Has she gotten her blood drawn?” Her voice is small and meek, which is why I can barely hear it.
Nurse in the middle, “Has her blood been tested?” I’m pretty sure she’s looking at an US Weekly or something.
Older Scowling Nurse, “Have you ever gotten your blood drawn?”
Me, “Yeah, a ton of times.”
Older Scowling Nurse, “Where?”
Me, “Westcliff.”
OSN, “How much?”
Me, “Like…at least 5 times since getting pregnant. The last time was for my glucose testing.” (Note: That’s a story unto itself.)
OSN sighs, picks up the phone, and I’m ignored for another five minutes. Steve and I make small talk, mostly about how ridiculous this all is.

A man appears to my right, coming out of a dark delivery room and looking like he’s not even sure if he’s living. We lock eyes, I smile, and ask, “How’s it going?”
“Oh,” he replies, laughing a little out of nerves, “He’s not ready to come out yet.”
“Oh,” I say, not really knowing how to respond.
“What time is it?” He asks, blinking and looking around.
“Just after five,” I reply.
“In the morning or evening?”
“It’s Friday afternoon.”
He looks at me, stunned, says, “Really?”, and rubs his face, looking around. His shirt is stained, his clothes disheveled, his skin must be crawling. “Five in the afternoon, huh. It’s hard to tell time in those little rooms with no windows.”
I instantly decide I don’t want to give birth here. I wish the man good luck and turn back to OSN, who is scowling even deeper now.

“How often have you been to Westcliff?” She asks.
“About five or six times, just since getting pregnant.”
“And they’ve taken your blood?”
“Yeah. A lot.”
“How much?”
“Every time I’ve gone there.”
“They don’t have record of you, are you sure you went to Westcliff?”
“Yes! It’s right near my doctor’s office, I’ve been there a ton.”
Her sigh rocks the building and she turns away, picking up the phone and calling them back. She also answers another phone, looks at a monitor, and lets in some women into the ward by pushing a large, flat button. Two women in skank heals appear, and try to bypass the nurses, who yell at them. Turns out they are in the wrong part of the hospital all together.

I’m asked about seven times how many pregnancies I’ve had (It's still the only one no matter how many times you ask, Ladies), when my due date is, who my doctor is, and if I’ve ever had my blood drawn. I understand that some people don’t know anything about their bodies, but I’m on top of it. Steve is starting to get very impatient and annoyed, something that turns quickly into anger. I’m trying to sooth him, talk to the nurses, and try to get my tummy to stop rumbling because I’m damn hungry.
“They only have record of Urine and Glucose testing for you.” OSN tells me.
“I’ve had my blood drawn there a lot,” I reply, probably sounding a bit more annoyed than I should.
“They don’t have a record of it.”
“Then what have they been doing with all the blood they took?”
She sighs again and calls someone else, and at this point I don’t care who it is.

A woman, attached to an IV pole and huddled over is trying to walk through the thin, crowded nurses station, all the while stopping and wincing in pain every few feet. Every nurse asks her if she is all right, but not in a friendly, “Because I care” way, but in a “It’s my job” way. She says no, winces again, and hobbles a little further. She looks like she wants to die, and she’s scaring the ever loving Number 2 out of me. A nurse helps her waddle to a door that says, “Shower”, which leads into a dark room where my mind fills in the horrors inside and I’m reconfirmed that I DON’T WANT TO GIVE BIRTH IN THIS TINY, MEAN, COLD, SILENT, WINDOWLESS HELL.

I’m asked, again, about how many pregnancies I've had, when I’m due, what week I’m in, and if I’ve had my blood drawn. I answer, sigh a lot, and wait quietly as Steve steams next to me. This is just the thing to set him off, even though through all the absolute ridiculousness of it all, I think it’s hysterical.

Finally, it’s now close to 5:45, there is no one open at either of my doctor’s offices and Westcliff Labs could give a rats ass about me, so they can’t find out what my blood type is so they can’t give me the shot, and I’m told to just comeback on Tuesday. I’m supposed to get the shot in my 28th week, and Tuesday is the last day in my Pregnant Weeks.
“Tuesday?” I ask.
“Yeah, just come back Tuesday.”
“Just for the record, I have B-Negative blood.”
“We can’t take your word for it,” I’m told by one of the other nurses. “We have to have an official paper telling us your blood type. Otherwise the pharmacy won’t give us the right shot.”
“Ok…so I’ll be back Tuesday.” I sigh, shrug, and stand up.
“You can come in any time, before work even.” I’m told.
I work 7-4, barely anyone is up that early, let alone would there be ANYONE at my Doctor’s office that early to fax over the needed paperwork. I resist the urge to face palm myself and instead just tell them it’s better to do it after work.

Steve and I hold hands and walk out the door, discussing how utterly Kate this whole thing is. He’s fuming, and I have to talk him down….this level of anger and impatience is something he gets from his Dad and I can’t stand it…but he still sweetly tells me that he’ll take me for the Ice Cream he promised to get me after my shot. Aww, what a good man.

So I didn’t get the shot, of course, and haven’t yet. I’ll try again later this afternoon, but I did call my Baby Doctor and have them send over a form with my blood type listed on it. Hopefully, when I get to the hospital and it turns out to be the wrong form, my Doctor’s office will still be open so I can have them refax it. Of course, they couldn’t fax me the form to my job so I could take it in, because I wasn’t there to sign a release form saying it’s ok to fax me a copy of my own information to myself. Balls. When I go, I’ll be by myself this time, which sucks, but at least afterwards, I’ll treat myself to some more ice cream. Or maybe some tacos. Mmmm, tacos.

Keep in mind, and this is something Steve and I discussed in front of the nurses, there is a preeeeeeety easy test to find out one’s blood type. It’s done all over in High School and Community College science classes. But, apparently, there was no one in that hospital who could have tested me in three minutes so that I could have gotten the damn shot. Maybe I should give birth in a Community College science class, because as long as I can help it, I’m sure as hell not doing it in that stupid hospital. I really, really hate hospitals.

So that’s my funny story about the shot I need but still haven’t gotten. I hope you all enjoyed it. Maybe one day I’ll write about when I had my appendix removed, because that’s quite the hospital tale. But that’s for another day.

We’re still in the process of moving, but are so close to being done. Tonight is our first night in the new apartment. I’m excited!
I’ll write more soon and when I can.
Loves!
♥♥Mags

Lost Thoughts: The End

2010-05-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

It was and wasn’t a lot of things.

But it was beautiful.

Join me after the jump for the final Lost Recap, and for Jears. Oh, such Jears.

I…I don’t even know where to begin. The Series Finale, and here we are…sitting…wondering still. So much left undone, unanswered, unknown, and yet…what was given to us, our final image of the show…it was beautiful. To me, to Steve, sitting on our bed, crying (Him not so much), it was beautiful.
(This is going to be LONG.)

In LAX Land, we’re treated to a montage of Christian Shephard’s coffin coming into LAX while Jack, Kate, and some others go about their day (Brilliantly edited into the Island Reality folks doing whatever it is that they do.) We end up following the Coffin to a pretty church, where Des, ever creepy and kinda annoying, signs for it. He then gets back in the car where Kate is sitting, uselessly, and he leers off after the Coffin. Gross, Des. That’s just gross.

Kate asks about who’s in the Coffin, and when Des tells her it’s Christian Shepherd, she, of all people, points out the slightly ridiculous nature of this man’s name. Really, really it took Kate of all people to do this for us? KATE? Des, probably tired of her uselessness, punches her in the face. Wait…that happened, right? I didn’t just dream it?

Elsewhere, Hurley and Sayid are sitting in front of the same hotel they’ve been to before, and Sayid is totally unsure of all this going on with his new fluffy friend. Hurley, trying to jog his memory, shows him things like the hotel and a tranquilizer gun, but he also tells Sayid that although everyone tells him he’s evil, Hurley knows he’s a cool dude. It’s sweet. Hurley then goes up to one of the rooms where he tries to make a connection with Charlie. Charlie is drugged and boozed out of his mind, but the look on Hurley’s face when he sees his old friend breaks my heart. Dear God, Hurley. Stop. Charlie tells Hurley to sod off, so Hurley, badassly, shoots him with the dart gun and knocks out our poor Hobbit. It would have been brilliant if it didn’t bother him at all.

At the Concert everyone is going to, Miles sees Sayid, and starts to question things. He calls Cop Sawyer, who thinks that maybe Sayid is going after Sun & Jin. Sawyer rushes off to the rescue, and Miles apparently just chills at the Concert, not bothering to, I don’t know, be a cop and go ask who/what/where/when/why/how with Sayid. Our tax dollars at work!

At the hospital, Sun and Jin talk about what it’s like to be shot, when Juliet comes in to check the baby. My heart flutters and dies just a little bit. I’ve missed her beautiful smile. Not enough to…you know…watch V but…Anyway, Juliet tries to small talk with Sun and Jin, but can’t cause they still don’t speakadaenglish. Upon seeing the ultrasound of their child, Sun remembers her Island Life. She starts crying, and soon Jin remembers to, and we’re treated to beautiful glowing and happy moments of their lives together and their daughter and their death. And. I. Am. SOBBING. Juliet doesn’t understand. She tries to tell them what the sex is, but Sun and Jin, in perfect English, tell Juliet it’s a girl and what her name is. Juliet wonders why they didn’t just speak English in the first place.

Jack talks to Locke about something. I don’t know. At that point it was a short scene and it was just talking.

We are treated to a sweet moment where we are told that Juliet is the mother of Jack’s Creepy Son. 80% of Lost fans around the world go, “A, duh.” The other 20% go, “SQUEEEE!”. Jack and Juliet talk to each other, and it seems very friendly, and tickets for the concert are exchanged. Since Jack can’t go, he offers up Claire instead, making a joke that Juliet will like her cause she’s Super Pregnant. Jack’s Creepy Son leers at them all creepy like. Jack then goes off to make Locke walk again. Ha. That rhymed.

Later that night, Sayid and Hurley are sitting outside a bar, waiting for something to happen. What happens is a slutty girl runs out screaming at two guys fighting, only to get “Snookied” in the face. Sayid, being a Gentleman’s Killer, rushes off to save the day. He does, and when he touches the girl’s arm…oh, that slut is Shannon! HI SHANNON! I imagine the guy with his face in some trashcans is Boone. Yes…yes it is. Hi Boone. Sayid and Shannon remember each other and their lives, tears are shed, kisses are shared, and Sayid says to himself, “Nadyia who?” Boone goes over to talk to Hurley, having, at some point, already had his Island Moment. Possibly while on the set of that Vampire show he’s doing these days.

At the Concert, in line to get in, Jack’s Creepy Son, Juliet and a WEE TINY Claire chat about whatever. Claire is seriously about 4 feet tall. AND wide. Juliet get’s a call from the Hospital saying they need her, so she leaves. They get in, find their table, and sit down…only to find Des and Kate sharing the table with them. Um, Waiter? There’s some useless in my soup. Can we switch, for the love of God? PLEASE?! Kate stares uselessly at Claire, who awkwardly doesn’t say anything.

Meanwhile, at some point while backstage, Charlotte wakes up Charlie. She then introduces herself to Daniel, and he smiles, all a flutter.

Then Daniel and DriveShaft come out on stage and perform a song that, were it on the radio, I’d plug in my iPod and listen to some real music. Good God, it sucked. And why wasn’t it “You Are Everybody?” Charlie stumbles about like an ass, until he sees Claire in the audience. He leers at her, she gets uncomfortable and tries to look away. Instead she suddenly goes into labor. Because it happens. THAT FAST. Someone get me Dom Monaghan when I’m that pregnant, cause apparently he makes ‘um pop it out quickly!

Claire rushes off and Kate uselessly goes after her. Claire stumbles around a bit, in pain, when Kate finds her and helps her onto a couch. Kate, being a DOCTOR and having YEARS OF EXPERENCE delivering babies, decides that the best possible plan is to just deliver the baby herself and…I don’t know…have someone make an announcement about if there’s a Doctor in the House or to call an ambulance or something. SOMETHING. She asks Charlie, who is randomly there, to get blankets, but even that seems kinda silly.

I swear to god, if ANY OF YOU leave me with Kate to deliver my child come August, I will punch you in the face. I’d rather a rabid ferret get up there and pull the baby out than let that Useless Cow anywhere near my baby hole.

Still, this baby is coming so Kate gets in there, in her lovely black cocktail dress, and helps Claire push him out. The birth also takes all of 90 Seconds. Seriously. Like…seriously. While this is happening, Kate flashes on her Island Memories, useless though they may be, and after holding Aaron for the first time, Claire does the same. Charlie comes back with the blankets, and as he sees Claire and Aaron, he suddenly flashes as well. And I’m crying like a newborn. Because we are treated to beautiful moments of their lives together and they are crying and kissing and I’m crying and dear God this show is trying to destroy me.

Elsewhere, Eloise snaps at Desmond for not being able to leave well enough alone. He tells her to shove it. She, worriedly, asks him if he’s going to take Daniel with him, and Des kindly says no, earning some gratitude from the old bag. Des has no need for that annoying Daniel anyway. With his bad hair and skinny ties and weird voice and theories and "music". God that song sucked.

Back at the Hospital, Jack is done with Locke’s surgery and is walking with him and some nurse into his recovery room. Locke wakes up too soon, and seems just fine. This is my first inkling that maybe LAX Land isn’t what it seems. Cause, seriously, when I had my appendix out I woke up in my recovery room freaked out because someone’s pinky finger was inside of me, yelled at the nurses, and passed out again. Only to wake up on the way to my normal room. Because the nurses were ramming my bed into EVERY DOOR, CORNER, WALL, PERSON, CAT, MACHINE, OR OBJECT THEY POSSIBLY COULD. Bitches. And they made me go back to sleep.

Locke wiggles his toes, even though he shouldn’t be able to just yet, and he wants to get up and go for a jog or something (Or maybe just be on Top with Leela for once). Jack, whose neck wound has come back, is trying to get him to calm down, when Locke has his Island Hot Flashes (He does have quite the pair of Mitties, remember). Jack has a mini-one, and freaks out, calming he needs to find his son, WWWWAAAAAALLLLLTTTTTTT! Locke tells Jack he never had a son. This, understandably, freaks Jack out some more, and he runs.

Sawyer, meanwhile, had gotten to the Hospital and tried to worn Sun and Jin that they were in danger due to Sayid. They laugh him off, treating him kinda like a child. “Oh, look at your lil’ badge! Someone’s a big strong detective! Isn’t that cute?!” They leave him behind, telling him that they will see him soon. He’s unnerved, and goes in search for food. He asks Jack, who is all out of it, and Jack tells him to look at the vending machines. We’re treated to a few moments of this Series Finale with its precious seconds ticking by to Sawyer unwrinkling his dollar and choosing his item and taking all the damn time in the world, before his candy bar, an Apollo, gets stuck. Juliet comes by tells him to unplug the machine and plug it back in. He does, and the candy bar drops.

Juliet picks it up for him, and as she hands it to him, their fingers brush, and they both remember each other and The Island. And I’m crying like never before. Full on, gasping for breath, fat, hot tears CRYING. Beautiful moments flash before all of us, and everyone…Sawyer, Juliet, Me, Steve, you, EVERYONE is crying. She tells him ‘it worked’, and that they should get coffee sometime. And they hug and kiss and everything is good in this world and give me a moment, because I need to blow my nose.

Jack gets to The Concert but it’s ended, and he runs into Kate…who still looks amazing and doesn’t have blood or goop or afterbirth on her little black dress at all. She gets all touchy feely with him, and he gets freaked out a bit, and flashes just a little bit more. He doesn’t understand, and she tells him she’ll make him, so they go off and just…you know…leave the search for Jack’s Creepy Son behind. Of course they would. Kate and Jack deserve each other. Because they are the worst. And who else could possibly put up with such uselessness? Who? The answer, NO ONE. Jack and Kate were made to be useless together.

At the church from before, Locke gets out of a cab and into his wheelchair….cause any hospital would just let a man who JUST had surgery to leave…and he passes Ben, who is looking SMOKING HOT while sitting pensively outside. They say hello to each other, and Locke asks if everyone is there already. Ben says mostly. Locke then asks if Ben is going in, and he says he’s going to stay for a while. He has some things to do. And I’m crying. Ben then apologizes to Locke for, you know, killing him. He says that Locke is special and awesome and Ben is not, and he’s really sorry. And I’m crying harder. Locke forgives Ben, and I’m Alice in a puddle of my own tears. Ben tells Locke he doesn’t need the chair anymore, so Locke gets up and walks away.

Later, after awesomeness goes on at The Island, Hurley comes out to find Ben sitting there still. Oh Ben, ever with the group but just outside. Hurley, because he’s kind hearted and amazing, asks Ben if he’s coming. Ben says no. Hurley destroys my soul by telling Ben he was an awesome number 2. Ben smiles, touched, and tells Hurley he was an awesome Number 1. Hurley leaves, and I’m in a ball rocking back and forth on my bed, a puddle around me.

Kate and Jack get to the church where they talk about…something. It’s a sweet moment, or it would be if I didn’t hate them both so much over the last few seasons. Not that I hate Jack in this episode, no. Just…I don’t care about him and Kate. She tells him they are waiting inside for him, and to go in the back door (HEY-OH!). She uselessly leaves. Jack takes her advice and goes in the back, finding it a tighter fit than usual…and he finds his father’s coffin. After, like, 3 minutes of wasting out time with tracking shots. Way to go, Editors. No wonder this episode had to be so long.

He walks up to the coffin, places his hand on it, and remembers. Everything. His whole Island life. It…freaks him out, but leave it to Jack to be the last one to get on the thought train. When he opens the coffin, it is, of course, empty. He hears a voice, his father’s voice, behind him and turns….and there’s Christian. Jack asks how and Christian replies how not? Jack asks why and Christian says why not? Jack asks who and Christian punches him in the face. No, he tells his son that, yes, they are both dead. And the Jears start. And my Jears start. But Christian says he and Jack and everyone is real. And all they shared was real. And that this is a place they created together to meet up again, because these are the most important people he ever knew.

Except Kate.

They are here, not to leave as Des and Kate said, but to…move on. Let go and move on. They walk together out into the church, where almost everyone is waiting and laughing and talking and hugging. Everyone is happy to see Jack. Hugs are shared, smiles are shared, I’m sobbing into my sheets, wondering if I should change them before bed, cause otherwise I’ll need a snorkel to sleep. Penny is there. Des is there. Rose and Bernard. Bonne, Shannon, Sayid, Charlie, Claire, Aaron, Juliet…everyone. It’s beautiful.

Finally, everyone sits down in the pews, and Christian walks by, placing his hand gently on his son’s shoulder. After a moment, he crosses to the back of the church, and opens the doors, letting in a flood of golden white light. Everyone smiles, and everyone fades away.

On The Island:
During the montage of people at the beginning, we watch Ben load a gun and Kate be useless and Jack standing in a stream up to his shins. I don’t understand how people can just stand in water like that…in jeans…which NEVER DRY and with wet socks. Wet socks are the worst. THE WORST. Worse than Kate, but just barely.

Sawyer comes along and asks Jack what’s up, if he feels different, and Jack says no. When asked about the plan, Jack tells them, Hurley too, that Jacob didn’t give them a plan, but they need to get to Desmond and go to The Source and kill Flocke and get some chocolate shakes at Sonic. Mmmm….Chocolate Shakes. Hurley drops some awesome Star Wars references, and Sawyer goes off to find Desmond.

At The Well, Sawyer is spying on Flocke when Ben comes up behind him with a gun. After a moment of banter with Flocke and Ben, Sawyer elbows Ben in the face and runs away. After, of course, finding out that Des isn’t in The Well and telling Flocke that the Candidates aren’t really candidates anymore. While Ben bleeds into his hands, Flocke finds paw prints on the ground and knows who took Desmond.

Desmond wakes up to find Rose and Bernard and Vincent living happily in their little camp. Rose sweetly gives Des something to drink while Bernard goes off to check the morning fish traps. They explain that, since they are smart, they avoid all the other drama going on elsewhere on The Island. They have happily been living their lives and that’s good enough for them. Also, Des, once you’re done with breakfast, don’t let the fake screen door slam you on the ass on your way out.

Bernard comes back…with Flocke and Ben in tow. Seems Flocke is well aware of Bose’s little life together. He tells Des that he will come with them, otherwise Flocke is going to kill Rose and Bernard. Slowly. Painfully. Bernard looks like he needs some Oops! I Crapped My Pants! but Rose is all awesome and tells Des he doesn’t have to go with Flocke. Des makes Flocke promise he won’t hurt our favorite married couple, Flocke agrees, and Des goes with him.

Walking towards The Source, Flocke tells Des he’s needed for something special, and Des asks Flocke if it involves a bright light. I find this exchange hilarious. Ben, meanwhile, bringing up the rear, has something cackle in his pocket. Flocke asks what the noise is, and Ben, who has a large bulge in his front pocket…and a walkie talkie hidden in there…says nothing. As Flocke turns away, Ben turns down his walkie talkie. Why, Ben, is that a walkie talkie in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? GIGGITY!

On the other end of that radio, Miles is trying to get a hold of Ben, cause someone found Richard! We knew he wasn’t dead, but it’s good to see him all the same. Richard is STILL on that whole, “We need to blow up the plane!” thing, so they rush off to get that job done. Miles, meanwhile, reaches over and plucks a hair off Richard’s head, showing him his very first gray hair! Richard, like all women, craps himself a little, knowing that the grays are coming. He, like me, is thrilled about it. Other women would be running to the nearest Target on The Island to get some hair dye.

They get a boat and start paddling towards Hyrda, when they run into a lot of debris from the Sub disaster. And by ‘debris’ I mean, the captain of the sub. And other bits and bobbles…and hearing someone screaming for help, the paddle over to FRANK! FRANK MOTHERLOVING LAPIDUS IS ALIVE! YES BITCHES! I’ve never been happier to see that chill Margaretaville motherf***er! They help Frank into the boat and tell him they are going to blow up the plane. He tells them to stop being stupid, cause he’s a pilot, and he’s going to fly their asses out of there. Frank, you crafty bastard, I’m so happy you’re alive.

Oh, and they get to Hydra and Claire is there and shoots the sand and is crazy and isn’t getting on the plane so they leave her and I don’t care.

Finally, and kinda stupidly, Jack and his gang, and Flocke and his gang, meet up on the way to The Source. Jack holds his new job on his chest like Percy getting Head Boy, while Flocke points out that, a duh, that’s a bit obvious. Flocke says he’s going to destroy The Island. Jack says he’s going to save The Island and destroy Flocke. Flocke comes back with, “Well I destroyed your mom last night, and she liked it!” and this goes on for some time while Ben, Hurley, Des, Sawyer and Kate call out insults and “WOO! OH NO HE DINN’T!”

They get to The Source and Jack, Flocke, and Des go on, leaving everyone else behind. It’s then that Ben gets a hold of Miles, who tells him they are on Hydra and are going to get the Clark Bar off The Island, so to get over there if they want to as well. Des is pretty chill while Jack and Flocke tie a rope to his waist, saying he’s not afraid cause when he dies, he’ll be in a happy place (LAX Land). They all go into the Golden Hole and slowly lower Des over a waterfall and into the heart of The Island. Jack, once again, stands up for Locke, saying that Flocke is nowhere near as badass as the face he’s wearing. It’s sweet.

They lower Des into Pirates of the Caribbean, or at least it sure as hell looks like it from the set design. Skeletons, a pool with a pulsating light, Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow peeking out behind a box every few seconds. He steps into the shiny pool and even though he’s getting all shocked and zapped, he powers on, going to a big stone plug and…unplugging it. It’s kinda hilarious, actually. Like, I mean, really like…he just unplugs the drain like you do in the bathtub. The water drains, and the golden white light is replaced by a deep red light, and it’s about this time that everyone goes, “Oh, shit” because it is going down. Des screams in pain and passes out. The Island starts to rumble, foam rocks start to get thrown at actors by the set crew, and Flocke smugly tells Jack that he won.

Outside it is suddenly stormy and crazy and Jack chases after Flocke, punching him in the face. This draws blood, and we’re all supposed to take this as, yo, that Flocke dude is now mortal. Kick his ass, Jack. Flocke poops himself for a moment before bashing Jack upside the head with a rock and running away.

As The Island trembles, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley and Ben try to keep their footing. But as a tree falls, Ben jumps in, pushes Hurley out of the way, and is pinned underneath it. And I start sobbing because I begin to think that Ben is going to die but he just saved Hurley’s life and OH MY GOD I TOLD YOU HE WAS BADASS AND GOOD AND HAS A GREAT BIG OL’ HEART. He SAVED Hurley, ya'll. He straight up was heroic and saved the day, because he’s awesome and booyah I told you all. Yeah. Yeah. Ben is awesome. What of it?

Hurley and Sawyer and Kate to some useless extent try to get Ben out from under the tree while on Hydra Miles, Frank and Richard work on fixing the plane. Miles calls over to his friends and tells them to shake ass, because they are getting out before the whole Island goes away.

Flocke, meanwhile, runs to his boat, which is moored off a bunch of steep cliffs and rickety ladders, but he stops when Jack calls out his name. It’s pouring rain, the sea is angry, the sky is thundering, it’s…EPIC. And after a moment of looking at each other, Flocke and Jack take off after each other for the last time. Jack, like friggin’ Wolverine and in the coolest effing thing he’s ever done, jumps off a rock and punches Flocke right in the face. It’s. AWSOME.

Our boys rumble on the ground for a while, Flocke’s knife changing hands, being bumped out of the way, and whatnot. Jack tries to strangle Flocke…and I think this would have been awesome because that’s how Locke died, but Flocke gets the knife and stabs Jack into the side with it. Shit. That’s gotta hurt. Flocke on top now, tries to stab Jack in the throat…cutting into his neck just enough for all of us to go, “DUDE! Jack’s Neck cut from LAX Land!” but a shot rings out and who is it? Not Ben. Not Sawyer. Kate.

Stupid, useless Kate is the one to shoot and kill Flocke. DAMNIT. It had to be her? She had to be useful for like one second? And then ruin it with a stupid effing line about saving him a bullet and GOD I HATE HER. Seriously? It couldn’t have been a character with…I don’t know…WORTH?! Flocke, with his last breath, tells them they are too late. Jack responds by kicking him off the cliffs, only for him to land below with the missed opportunity of a sickeningly awesome SPLAT sound effect.

Kate and Jack banter about his gushing side wound, and out of nowhere it’s SUNNY again. I mean, a second ago it’s pouring rain, and now it’s like the perfect day out. This is because The Protector of The Island can change the weather with his moods. Except they failed to mention this to us IN the series and instead talked about it like 2 days later and THANKS FOR THAT, GUYS. Because we totally all guessed that’s why it’s all sunny and awesome again. Instead of just some lame editing failure or whatever.

Suddenly, Hurley, Sawyer, and BEN! show up on the cliffs, and my heart jumps with joy. The Island is still shaking and going nuts, and Ben tells them all that they have to get to the plane (Boss!) if there is any hope of getting off The Island. Sawyer is all gung ho, as is Kate, but Ben is staying with The Island and Hurley can’t possibly make it down to the boat, so he’s staying too. I kinda hate that the reason Hurley is staying is because of his size and not because he wants to/needs to. Lame. Kate wants Jack to go but he has to stay and tend to The Island, so instantly her heart goes back to him instead of Sawyer, and she begs Jack to tell her she’ll see him again. They kiss, profess their love (Which, since it is Kate, will last all of a day until she’s back making eyes at Sawyer and a washing machine, trying to pick one), Jack says good bye to Sawyer.

It’s a shame we don’t get kisses and love professed between Sawyer and Jack (Bryan’s head just popped), because that would have been the best way to end this ridiculous love triangle that’s bored us to tears for the last 6 years. Sawyer and Kate go down the ladder, jump into the ocean, and head off to the boat. My final hope for Dharma Shark to come along and eat Kate is dashed.

Meanwhile, Frank keeps yelling at Sawyer to hurry his ass up, probably still pissed about the whole, “left me to die on a sub” thing, and keeps throwing the walkie talkie across the plane. It’s awesome and I want to hug Frank. Still meanwhile, Miles and Richard fix the landing gear with duct tape. DUCT TAPE. Hot damn, do I LOVE those three together and hope for a spinoff where they travel the US and solve crimes. Dear God, please let this happen already.

Jack, Ben and Hurley rush back to The Source, and Jack knows that he’ll die trying to fix The Island. He tells Hurley this, in a manner of speaking, and Hurley wells up and I’m crying again and Jack tells Hurley that it’s him. It’s Hurley who really is the Protector of The Island. It’s Hurley who will be the leader, save the day, be awesome. I’m sobbing. Hurley says he’ll only do it until Jack comes back, and Jack tells him he believes in him. And…crying. Jack needs a cup to do the ritual with, and all Ben has is a water bottle. So Jack uses that, gets some nasty, still water, and gives it to Hurley to drink. After he does, Jack smiles, says, “Now you’re like me”, and now it’s the reign of King Hurley.

Ben and Hurley lower Jack down on the rope, and hope for the best.

Kate and Sawyer finally get to Hydra as Frank, Miles and Richard are all set to take off in the plane. Kate has to, of course, uselessly stall and tend to Claire, who is afraid to return and doesn’t Aaron to have a crazy mom and blahblahblah. Meanwhile, Frank is ready to kick the tires and light the fires and there’s a tense few moments of them about to take off but Sawyer, Kate and Claire come rushing onto the runway and they are helped onto the plane and get settled in as the ground below them is crumbling, and Frank, the badest of all the Badasses gets the plane to take off. It’s. Awesome.

Jack, now also in Pirates of the Caribbean, drags a sad Desmond over to the rope, telling him that he didn’t die so that he can go home and be with Penny and Charlie. And…sobbing. He ties the rope around Des, tells him he’ll see him in another life brotha, and tugs on the rope to get Hurley and Ben to pull him back up. Jack then goes to the pool, and with much struggling…remember he just had an 8 inch knife in his side…drags the giant stone cork back to the hole from whence it came, and he plugs the magical bathtub once more. He stumbles to the side, and starts laughing with joy as water begins to flow again, and the golden light replaces the red hellish light.

Ben and Hurley pull up Desmond, and realize that Jack is not coming back. The look on Hurley’s face is destroying my soul. They take Desmond out into jungle, where Ben gently tends to him. I’m dying at this point, sobbing uncontrollably, because of EVERYTHING that is going on. Hurley, the weight of his new role in life settling into him, is freaking out. He talks about what they should do with Des, and Ben says he should go home. Hurley thinks no one can leave The Island, but Ben reminds him that, as the new boss, he can do whatever he wants. Hurley doesn’t know what to do, and Ben says, gently, to do what he always has done, and that is take care of people. For the record, I’m crying while writing this. Hurley, amazingly, and proving that he’s the best in every possible way, says he will need help, need someone experienced, and asks Ben to be his Second in Command.

The look on Ben’s face guts me. My heart is torn from my chest and chewed on by an adorable puppy while this is happening. Finally, after all this time, after all his struggles and wants, Ben is special. Ben is asked, honestly asked and wanted to be Number 2, just as he’s always wanted to be. Jacob never let him, Locke never let him, Richard already was…now…now he’s Vice President, and you can just tell that his loyalty to Hurley will last until the end of time. He is Hurley’s man, and he will be a good man at that. Ben tells Hurley he’d be honored to help.

After this the scene in LAX Land where Ben and Hurley discuss what great leaders and friends they were on The Island absolutely murders me, and I’m crying so hard I can’t see straight.

Jack wakes up in a pool in the jungle, somehow having gotten out of The Source. He’s dying, weak, and struggles to stand. The music swells, Michael Giacchino busting out the best of the best, as he limps along back to the bamboo grove where his whole journey began. He stumbles, finally, into a spot he knows and knows well, lying flat on his back, looking up to the sky. A bark comes out of the distance, and Vincent comes trotting up to him, licking Jack’s face and lying down next to his old friend. Jack doesn’t have to die alone. I sobbingly choke this out to Steve, who chuckles at my emotion.

Looking up, the plane carrying his friends passes by, and Jack smiles, knowing his work here is done. As the camera zooms into his right eye, it closes.

A gentle tone. LOST.

Thoughts, Theories, Questions, and Jears:
Holy. Shit.

It was beautiful, guys. Love it, hate it, I don’t care, it was beyond beautiful. A lot of people in the Internet Lands hated it, because of the religion, because of the lack of questions answered, because of the end…but I think it needs another viewing. You can’t anticipate something for so long without feeling gutted and almost let down after it’s over. You find reasons to hate it.

When I first saw The Two Towers after waiting for months, I hated it. I was so angry at Peter Jackson for Haldir dying and for everything else…but I was just feeling the weight and the depression of having finally seeing it, of that anticipation leaving and not knowing really what to think. I watched it again, and loved it. Loved every single second. My friend Jenny was waiting for years for The Lion, The With and the Wardrobe to come out, and after she saw it, she was so let down she hated it. I had to drag her to the theater to watch it again, to let it sink in, to really pay attention, and she loved every moment of the movie.

What I’m saying is, if you hated it, watch it again. Give yourself the chance to really focus, to know what’s coming, to settle in and understand just what is going on, and then form your opinion. Trust me. It’s worth it. If you loved it, as I did, and need to cry…watch it again.

As for the Questions that have been left unanswered…honestly, I don’t care. I don’t care about The Hurley Bird, about the Dharma Food Drops, about where The Island is, or anything else. Not really. We never thought we’d be told everything, and if we did we were fools. Instead, just…embrace it for what it was. Even as the whole series. Sure, I’d LOVE to know where the eff The Statue came from and what was with all the hieroglyphs and what not, but…if I never do…it may not keep me up at nights. May not. It’s still early to tell.

Of course, that being said, what happened to Rose and Bernard? Did they survive the Island trembles? And don’t forget there was a HOST of Others still on The Island that were waiting for Flocke to take them home. And I want to know, more than anything, the adventures of Hurley and Ben on The Island, and how long they ruled together, and what sort of silly adventures they had. Did Hurley bring his family to him? Did Ben make yearly trip to civilization to bring back food, clothes, and DVD’s?

What I do know is that there will be a little thing on the DVD’s of Ben & Hurley’s Island Adventures. And I. Can’t. Wait.

Hurley and Ben have given me some of my favorite moments on this show, namely:
✔Hurley sharing the candy bar with Ben in the Jungle while waiting for Locke.
✔Hurley throwing the Hot Pocket at Ben.
✔And Hurley asking Ben to be his right hand man.
I love you, Hurley and Ben. Jorge and Michael. Be in something again? Please? For me?

As for LAX Land…
Whatever you thought, this is what I feel, and Steve, and several other people out there in Internet Land.

LAX Land was a sort of purgatory, it was an in between place between death and heaven. And everyone lived their lives and died their deaths, but ended up together in this Land they made themselves. No matter when they died, the moment they did they woke up in LAX Land with no real memory of who they were after the Crash of 815. Why they chose to make their lives as they were…Charlie still on drugs, Sun getting shot, etc, who knows? And who cares? Though, I think Jack, I think, had a son in LAX Land to work out his own father issues. But, again, who cares? Because they all were there to find each other again. And that’s beautiful. Everyone was looking their best at that Church, even Ben, who you all think I’m crazy for finding oh, so sexy.

Ben chose to stay longer, because he finally found hope and joy in Alex and Danielle. And I’m sure he had to sort out all the evil things he did too…but still, Ben chose to stay, but not forever. He’ll let go, he’ll move on. Same with everyone else who is still there. They will come around. They will move on. But Ben isn’t a part, not a real part, of those people in the Church who moved on. Some loved him, some hated him, but his path is different. He needs to make up to Alex, and live a little while longer, in a dream life he has made himself.

I know it seems confusing, but it was beautiful, and it made me weep. All these people, together again, one final journey with the most important people they would ever know.

If the time they spent together was the most important of all their lives, and Kate was so damn useless that entire time…than, well…you can see where this is going. The rest of her life was utterly pointless. I imagine sitting in a chair and forever watching paint dry was more entertaining than whatever the hell Kate was up to for those years, post Island. God. I hate her.

I wrote “Oh God” 23 times on my notes while watching The End. HA.

For the Cast Members NOT there:
Michael couldn’t have been at The Church or in LAX Land, because his soul is stuck on The Island.
Walt couldn’t have been there because he’s like 40 years old and 7 feet tall.
Mr. Eko wasn’t there because the actor who plays him got greedy and demanded like 5 times what was offered for a guest spot.
Who the hell cares if Ana Lucia or Nikki & Paulo were there? Honestly?

All in all…it was what it was. Imperfectly perfect, beautiful, heartbreaking, sad, hopeful, and it made me cry. It ended beautifully. Just don’t think that this in any way makes up for the otherwise pretty effing useless Season 6. I mean, seriously, it was prettttty bad, that season. And they wasted a lot of our time on nothing and Kate, when they could have been answering our questions. But, such is life, I guess.

Run of the Night:
Hurley, because he wins at the whole series. The only character who never got annoying, who never changed his personality or tried to be something he wasn’t. He was afraid, a goof, a darling man, a sweet soul, a good person, who was loyal, strong, brave and decent. From moment one we loved Hurley, and now he’s the King of The Jungle.
In 2nd place, is my Ben, who proved to be amazing and, I can only hope, the best damn Number 2 on The Island. Also, it’s been hard to write Ben’s name and Number 2, because I think of poop. Because I’m 12. But still, Michael Emerson, you have to admit, did the best job in the whole series in terms of acting. You loved him, you hated him, you feared him, but you could NEVER take your eyes off him.
In 3rd place, Jack, who made me not hate him so much in the end. Just a lot in the middle. And at the beginning. God, Jack, you were such an ass at times.

Honorable Mention:
This Target ad, that had me laughing so hard I damn near fell off my bed. God bless whomever thought of this.

Loser of the WHOLE Series:
Kate.
God, I hate you Kate.

Lines!
(There were many, but I couldn’t stop to write them down. Add in your own, if you remember.)
✈“No one can tell you why you’re here, Kate.” Des, speaking for ALL of us.
✈“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” And Hurley wins the entire episode in one line.
✈“Oh well.” Sawyer, at the empty well. I thought it was hilarious.
✈“Jack, I believe in you, Dude.” Hurley.
✈“I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape.” Miles, way to go.
✈“Hurley, I believe in you.” Jack breaks my heart.
✈“Come on, Chesty!” Me, screaming at my TV as Frank takes off.
✈“You do what you do best, take care of people.” Ben to Hurley, officially making me cry.
✈“You’re a great Number 2.” Hurley to Ben, destroying my heart a little more.
“You’re a great number one.” Ben to Hurley, and I die a little bit inside.

There are so many, many sites but my favorite are:
Best Week Ever – I’ll miss these recaps more than I’ll miss the series.
Video Gum – Seriously, the comments are the funniest things ever. I will miss those nutty people and being able to steal all those awesome gifs. Cause I have. All the ones you’ve seen I’ve stolen from here.
Hobo Trashcan – The last one is perfect, so enjoy it. Snarkey but smart.

In the end, Lost was something amazing. It truly was. I tell people who have never seen it that it is the single best TV show ever made, and that they should never, EVER watch it. And it’s true. Because to have suffered as long as I have…I dare not wish that on another person. I dare not wish Kate on another person…although, there are some people I’d like to see go up in a flaming big rig with Kate, but that’s neither here nor there.

But still, I am better for having loved Lost, and one day, many, many years from now when my brain has had time to rest and my heart is finally healed from all the destruction heaped on it by this show, I’ll sit down, dust of the DVD’s, and try again. We’ll see what happens. Maybe I’ll blog it, who knows.

Thanks, everyone, for reading this far. Both into this post and for all my Lost Blogs, thanks for the comments and the counterpoints and putting up with my Ben obsession. He is my love. Maybe another show will come along for me to recap, maybe not. But these have, and will remain, my favorite posts on here. So thank you for allowing me this silliness.

Thanks to the creators of Lost. And also a punch in the face. For all of them. For so many reasons.

To Kate, I hope you know how much I hate you.

To Ben and Hurley, thanks for having my heart.

Goodnight, all!
♥Mags

Lost Thoughts: Why They Died

2010-05-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

Oh Lost.

Oh Ben.

Ben my beloved. Ben the BAMF. Ben the bold, ballsy, and bitchin’.

Ben, I love you.

Join me after the jump for my guy being awesome, some other stuff happening, and one epic moment that made my night!

Steve and I figured this out last night. If every other episode has been either epic or crappy, and since tonight’s was entertaining, the Series Finale is going to break down like this: First hour will suck, second hour will be amazing, final 30 minutes will suck. Well, maybe be so-so. We’ll have to see.

Either way, it’s all happening THIS SUNDAY. Which means by this time next week, when I am 28 weeks along, that we will know the answers of Lost. And….I’m betting most of us are going to be in some way super pissed.

In LAX Land:
We wake up with Jack’s eye, only to find him in his nice bedroom. Checking himself out in the mirror, as I imagine Jack does every morning, (A girl has to make sure she doesn’t have any pimples!) he finds that cut on his neck from when he was on the plane. Huh? All of a sudden, his son, who gets weirder and weirder with each episode, appears out of nowhere to tell Jack that breakfast is made. I’m starting to think that they went from ‘awkward teenage son/father relationship’ to ‘BFFS!’ (The 30 Rock kind) all too soon.

Breakfast, as it turns out, is a bowl of cereal that Jack teases his son about not really making. Then Claire shows up, looking about 3 years pregnant, and there’s sweet family awkwardness. Also, their milk is in a pitcher. And this bothers me. Why? Because milk soaks up the smells in a fridge like a sponge. Even if your fridge is clean, it still has a funky fridge smell, and that gets right into the taste of milk. They put it in cartons for a reason, Jack. Are you ever in any way useful!?

Jack get’s a call from ‘Oceanic’ about his ‘missing cargo’ and although Jack says it’s his dad’s body, it’s actually that case of adult ‘toys’ he got on a late night trip through the seedier parts of Sydney. No, actually, it’s Desmond, whom I’m starting to hate more and more with each passing moment in LAX Land. He tells Jack the ‘cargo’ should be in by the end of the day, but nothing ever really comes of this so they just wasted a little bit more of our time. Thanks, Lost.

Des, meanwhile, is still stalking Locke while at the high school. Ben confronts Des, yelling at him that he’s going to make a Citizen’s Arrest and call the cops and it’s all super adorable in his little sweater vest…until, that is, Des beats him up. In the school parking lot. AND NO ONE SEES THIS. What? How could it be that at the beginning of school, everyone just…looked the other way. Poor Ben, getting beaten up in every reality. (Also, this is when Michael Emerson got an actual black eye because Henry Ian Cusack actually punched him in the face. He’ll have the black eye for the rest of the episode, and my heart forever. Maggi + Ben = ♥LOVE♥)

Whilst getting the crap kicked out of him, Ben has flashes of his other life where…he’s getting the crap kicked out of him…again by Des, after trying to kill Penny and Baby Charlie. Des tells Ben that he doesn’t want to hurt Locke, he wants to help make him, ‘Let go’. Des then stops beating the crap out of poor Ben, and bravely runs away. A while later, the school nurse is trying to tend to Ben’s wounds, but his attitude is making her want to pour salt into them. Just call the man Doctor! I would! In bed. What?! Anyway, he’s been thoroughly beaten up, meanwhile, no one bothers to call the cops about this. WHAT?! These days, with school security and all that, someone would have A) Seen Ben get beaten up, 2) Called the cops about it already, and Drei) I don’t know, done more for the poor man than just take him to the bitchy school nurse!

Anyway, she leaves Ben alone and Locke wheels into the room, asking about what happened. Ben tells him he got beat up by the same guy who ran over Locke, and Locke goes to call the cops (FINALLY!). Ben stops him, though, admitting that he saw something whilst getting the crap beat out of him, and that Des is just trying to help Locke, ‘Let go’. And I love Ben and Locke together. These two need to go on and have their own show together, Michael and Terry. Please, TV Gods, make this happen. If we have to sacrifice a lesser show to your whims, we shall. In fact, FlashFoward has been canceled! You can have that as your sacrifice!

At the ONLY police station in town, Des asks to speak to Detective Sawyer, and turns himself in for running over Locke and beating up Ben. If Sawyer knew any better, he would have given Des a medal, but alas…He throws Des in a holding cell. With Sayid. And Kate. And I’m officially tired of the ‘coincidence’ on this effing show. Anyway, he lays on the smarm with them, and Sayid and Kate aren’t buying it. A while later, Sawyer comes to tell them that they are going to be transferred to County Lockup, and Kate tries to use her vagina to get Sawyer to let her go. Sawyer isn’t buying it. Atta boy.

Once in the transport, Des blahblahblah about blahblahblah and tells them they are going to go free but Sayid and Kate have to trust him and blahblahblah the van stops and who lets them out? Ana Lucia. If I never saw that stupid bitch’s face again, it would have been too soon. She wants her money, and on cue Hurley pulls up to give her some. He also knows who she is, but she has no idea who he is. It’s kinda cute. Also, Hurley is ever the follower, isn’t he? Ana Lucia buggers off, Sayid goes off with Hurley, Kate goes with Des, who has a dress for her, says they are all meeting up at a concert later that night.

The same concert Jack and his son and his ex-wife will be at. The same concert Miles is going to. The same concert that Widmore is throwing. Hurm.

Elsewhere, Locke goes to see Jack and after talking and such, he tells Jack he wants out of the chair. They talk about more than that, but at this point I don’t really care, so….

Finally, Alex sees a beaten up Ben at school and is horrified that anyone would do that to him. Oh, sweetie, if only you knew. She offers to take him home, and asks her mom if they can help. Danielle, looking amazing and not crazy, says sure. She and Ben begin to insta-flurt, and I begin to sob because maybe, just maybe, my Beloved Ben will find happiness. They take Ben back to their place for dinner, and as they are cleaning up, Danielle thanks Ben for all that he’s done for Alex. He asks about her dad, and Danielle tells Ben that he died when Alex was young. She then tells Ben that he is as close to a father as Alex has ever had. And I’m sobbing. Also crying? Ben. It’s…precious. Danielle is sweet about the tears, and he says it must be the onions. She tells him she’ll put in less next time.

Ya’ll, I don’t care what you want to think about Ben or my creepy crush on him, the fact that my little buddy could have a happy life, even in LAX Land, with Alex and Danielle…It makes my heart sing. They were an instant family. It was darling. Oh, goodness, I might have to dust out the old Fan Fic ideas and write their happy life together. That little bit alone made me love this episode with allllllll my heart.

On The Island!
Our final four are sitting on the beach, stunned still over the whole sub thing, while Jack sews up Kate’s wounds. Yes, the stupid cow is still alive. She’s crying and talking about Sun and Jin…which is making me cry all over again. DAMNIT! You WORTHLESS COW SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. She knows they have to kill Flocke, and frankly, it’s the first smart thing she’s said in years. Ha, ha, I hate you, Kate.

After getting sewn up, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley look at the beach as a life jacket from the Sub washes up on Shore. Sawyer is looking all sad and guilty, AND HE SHOULD BECAUSE THE BASTARD IS THE REASON WE LOST SUN AND JIN AND MAYBE – BUT I’M KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED HE ACTUALLY REAPPEARS – FRANK. So anyway, Jack is all jung-ho for leaving, and going to find Des, and they set off after him, probably too weak at this point to argue with the Good Doc any more.

So off into the Jungle they go, and Sawyer expresses his guilt about MURDERING SUN AND JIN to Jack. Jack, however, doesn’t rub it in, although he should, and they talk about something but I don’t know what. Meanwhile, Hurley sees little Blond Jacob, who asks for the bag of Jacob Ash that Hurley has that Ilana had, and once he gets the bag, the kid runs off. It is also adorable, the little yell that Hurley does, because I love him, and how he banters with the kid. Chasing after Tween Jacob, and rushing into a clearing, he finds real Jacob, chilling next to a fire. Jacob tells him that the ashes are in the fire, and as soon as the fire dies out, he’ll be gone for good.

All this Jacob talk reminds me of a nightmare I had the other night, where I was watching a Twilight movie. Then, suddenly, I was in the movie, as one of the vampires, and all the werewolves were attacking our home, killing all of us. The worst and scariest part of all of this? I was VOLUNTARILY watching a Twilight movie. I woke up with chills. Steve had to calm me down. *shudders*

Anyway, as night falls, Hurley brings Kate, Sawyer, and Jack to meet Jacob. Despite the fact that he’s dead, they can all see him and hear him just fine. Kate has all sorts of questions for him, but Jacob slaps her in the face and tells her to shut the hell up. … That didn’t happen, but a girl who hates Kate with every fiber of her being can hope. She wants to know why Sun and Jin and Sayid died. She wants to know why her name was crossed off the list. She wants to know blahblahblah SHUT UP KATE. God. Just. Shut. Up.

Also, this is my favorite thing ever:

Jacob explains that the Kwon’s and Sayid died because Flocke is evil, or something. I don’t think he ever actually explained it, or maybe I was too busy tweeting my friend about Pink Martini, I don’t know. And Kate’s name was crossed off because she became a mother, but if she wants the job, it’s hers. He tells them that he brought them to The Island because he knew he needed a replacement, because one day, Esau/Smokey/Flocke would kill him. And The Island must be protected. Sawyer is pissed because he’s being punished for Jacob’s sins, but Jacob counters with the fact that none of them had a good life going for them, so stop being such a little bitch about it. Then he looked at the camera, wiggled his eyebrows, indicated Sawyer with his thumb while saying, “Are you kidding me with this guy?” And then the laugh track started.

Did I just fall asleep?

Anyway, Jacob tells them that one of them would have to want to take his place, and after an awkward moment, Jack is the one who stands up, willing to take over. It’s what he was meant to do. Or something. Hurley looks relieved, Kate looks shocked and horny, and Sawyer looks pissed and jealous, as if he wants everything Jack wants, no matter what. Jacob then takes Jack to a stream and tells him about how to find the Golden Shower that is the heart of The Island (EW.), while Sawyer, Kate and Hurley look on. Jacob takes some water in a cup, says a prayer over it, or something, and gives it to Jack to drink. Jack wants to know how long the job is going to last, only to be told it’ll last as long as he can do it. I hope you like being alone, pal, cause you’re stuck on this Island for a while. Jack drinks the water, and becomes enlightened. You can tell. Someone just became a man.

Elsewhere on The Island:
Ben, Miles, and Richard are taking what has to be DAYS to get back to New Otherton, while Miles, like a child, is bitching about how long it is taking. Once back in the old village, Miles gets flashes of ghost and things, and when Ben asks why, it is Richard who tells him that after Ben left The Island, Richard buried Alex in her front yard. I’m crying. Ben looks shocked and sad, as if he never thought about what happened to her after he left. He gratefully thanks Richard, while I cry into my sheets.

Inside the house, inside the secret room where Ben keeps all his pink shirts and ID’s, Ben opens a safe and takes out a crap load of C-4. They then hear a bit of rustling in the kitchen, and when they go out, they find, who else? Not Tina Fey going through Ben’s cabinets, looking for his Ham Recipe. Just seeing her stupid Not Tina Fey face fills me with such hate I can’t even tell you. I will never be able to watch that dumb bitch in anything ever again. HATE.

Oh, and then Widmore walks through the door. Yay.

So Ben and Widmore, reunited and it feels so good, banter a little bit while Richard looks on with his usual shocked and confused face while Miles and Not Tina Fey check Twitter on their iPhones. Ben and Charles still hate each other something fierce, and it really comes out in their talk. Widmore tells Not Tina Fey to go to their boat and hide it before Flocke finds them. So she scurries off, only to not get there in time because there’s Flocke! She comes rushing back to the house, and Widmore and Not Tina Fey go to hide in Ben’s Secret Room. Miles skips away in a different direction all together, and I’m starting to be tired of his antics. Before he leaves, Ben gives him a walkie talkie and keeps the other one for himself. He’s going to face Flocke one and for all, and Richard is going to man up and do the same.

Outside, Richard and Ben wait for Flocke to appear…and sure enough, here comes ol’ Smokey. He takes out Richard, throwing him into the trees or something. We didn’t see Richard die, so Richard didn’t die, he just…got the sexy wind knocked out of him or something. Ben, meanwhile, watches this go down before he calmly sits down on his front porch, and waits for his fate. It is one of the most BADASS things Ben has done, because of how calm and collected he is. He is accepting of his fate.

Flocke strolls up, sits next to Ben, and they talk about the weather and life and who is going to win the Super Bowl this year. Flocke tells Ben that if Ben kills some people for him, he will get The Island all to himself. Ben considers this, and agrees to it. He then offers up Charles and Not Tina Fey up on a silver platter to Flocke, who gladly takes it.

Inside the house, in the closet, Flocke appears to Widmore and Not Tina Fey. Flocke asks her who she is, she starts to answer, and Widmore tells her to not talk to him. So Flocke SLITS HER THROAT!

YES! YES! YES! The utterly useless, stupid, annoying, worthless, ugly Not Tina Fey is dead! YAY! Steve and I clapped, whooped, hollered, and all around celebrated this moment so loudly that we missed what happened after. I think Widmore got angry or something. Who. CARES? The bitch is dead and Praise The Lord!

Anyway, after that awesome moment of awesomeness, Flocke really wants to know just why Widmore came back to The Island, and if Charles doesn’t tell him, Flocke is going to get off The Island and the first thing he’s going to do is kill Penny. Charles gives in, and tells Flocke that he brought back Desmond because Des is special, and when asked why, he doesn’t want to say in front of Ben. Ben leaves the room and Charles goes to whisper it to Flocke….and after a moment Ben comes in and shoots Charles Widmore until he dies from it. It’s. AWESOME. There’s the Ben that I know and love. There’s my little Badass.

So Ben hooks up with Flocke, and they leave Widmore and Not Tina Fey to rot, and end up later at the well that Desmond was pushed into. Only the well is empty. As Ben is picking Flocke clean for information about what his plan is, Flocke is rather happy that someone helped Des out of the well. Why? Because Des is special, a last resort, and with his help, Flocke is going to destroy The Island.

Dun. LOST.

Thoughts, theories, and predictions:
First off, I really enjoyed this episode, because it was the return of Ben being a TOTAL BAMF.

I don’t buy into the whole, Ben is working for Flocke now theory that will no doubt be put out there to the world. Ben is smarter than that, he’s not a pussy, and he’s been biding his time this whole season in order to make his move. This is his move. He’s getting everything out of Flocke, who I think desperately is under estimating him, and really…Ben knows Flocke is evil. Ben knows Flocke has to be stopped, but who better to get close to the man and try to take him down? I never saw where the C-4 went, and Miles has the other end of the walkie talkie, and Richard isn’t dead. Ben is working Flocke, and Ben is still a hero in my eyes.

Sure, he killed Widmore and Not Tina Fey is dead too…but have we not seen before that Ben is willing to let anyone get cut down in order to protect The Island and himself? Widmore’s death, although shocking, was a long time coming for Ben. It was the final act of revenge for Alex. I don’t think he’s going to go after Penny, not now, because he’s a softy. Besides, Ben knows it’s not Penny’s fault. But Widmore had to pay, and he paid. And it rocked.

You’ll see, you’ll all see, Ben is going to be a hero. He might die from it, and it will destroy my heart and soul if I lose my Beloved Badass, but if it’s a noble death, than good for you, Ben. He may be evil, sneaky, cruel, and horrible, but he is awesome, and the world will come to see that one day.

Also, I think Juliet is Jack’s EX in LAX Land, and thus the mother of that creepy boy.

Finally, I think it’s TOTAL BS that there are going to be 3 alternate endings to Lost that are going to be shown on the Jimmy Kimmel Show on Sunday. I understand that maybe they filmed it as a way to keep people from knowing the true ending, but I think it further screams, “We don’t know what we’re doing!” Alternate endings are for movies and shows that weren’t planned out for the last 6 years. I don’t know. I can’t get over the feeling that this Finale is going to suck hard.

What else…I know I had more thoughts but, as usual, they go out of my brain as I sleep.

Run of the Night:
Ben, of course. Always. Forever. He was awesome and badass in Island Reality, and heartbreaking but sweet in LAX Land. People, listen up, despite the fact you might find him creepy/funny looking/strange/unnerving, Michael Emerson is a GREAT actor. He really is. And he needs to be in many, many more things.

Lines!
✈“I lived in those homes 30 years before you did. Also known as last week.” Oh, Miles, stop being such a child.
✈“Blow it to hell.” Richard. YES.
✈“Who the hell are you?” Ben to Not Tina Fey. She’s useless and five minutes away from being dead. PTL.
✈“We’re very close to the end, Hugo.” No shit, Sherlock Jacob.
✈“Can I get you a glass of lemonade?” Ben to Flocke. Ben, never change. In fact, MARRY ME.
✈“He’s hiding in my closet.” Ben about Widmore. I didn’t expect him to be gay!
✈“Why would someone want to hurt you?” Oh, Alex, if only you knew.
✈“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had.” *sobs* Danielle, you’re breaking my heart!
✈“She’s armed, but I’m guessing that’s no problem for you.” Ben, you are epic with the one liners.
✈“He doesn’t get to save his daughter.” Ben, upon killing Widmore.
✈“Did you say there were other people to kill?” Hee. Ben. LOVE.
✈“One of you will have to start doing it. … But not you, Kate. You’re useless.” … That might not be the proper Jacob quote, but you get the idea.
✈“I’ll do it.” Duh, Jack. We could have told you that day one!
✈“Oh, hey, you didn’t tell me Ana Lucia was going to be here.” Leave it to Hurley to know everything. I love you, Hurley.
✈“I’m going to destroy The Island.”Good luck, Flocke.

Also, did anyone of you think that the creepy lady’s voice for the finale was all…creepy and weird? Like, did they get that little lady from Poltergeist to come in and do that voice over before she died? The hell point was that? Stupid ABC.

Links!
Video Gum, which is, as ever, perfect and hysterical.

Best Week Ever. The Dragon in the Cab picture made me snort so loud I hurt myself.

So...next week will be my final Lost Recap. I'm in a state of shock. It hasn't sunk in yet. We;ll see what happens.
♥ Mags

Random Late Spring Thoughts

2010-05-17T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!

Late spring and summer are usually hard times for me to blog. I get really busy with work and life, and now moving and baby, that my posts are going to be reduced somewhat to…pretty much…when I can fit them in. It’s lame, I know, but it’s the way of life, I suppose. I only will have 2-3 Lost Thoughts left, which I have to do…because I hate that show and how it is eating my soul. So I must complain about how they are ruining it but whatever.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. So here are some things that have been going on in my life so far that I wish I had more time to blog about but don’t, compiled into some nice, neat little paragraphs.

We’re moving soon. Thank. JESUS. We found a slightly smaller 2 bedroom apartment in another part of the Victor Valley, a nicer part than the hellhole we’ve been in for the last (almost) 2 years. So we’re in the process of packing/throwing things away/moving. The problem is, that what with the mega not awesome roach problem we’ve had since day one, moving and packing is all going to be a very last minute thing. It’s going to suck, actually, as we will have to try very, very, very hard NOT to take any of the little bastards with us. Still, moving = awesome. As we will be rid of not only roaches, but constant visits to our current complex by cops, fire department, ambulances, sheriff’s helicopter, gun shots, weirdo’s who dig through our trash, kids who smoke next to our gas meters, people who mess with our gas meters, loud, rap/mariachi music coming out of crappy car speakers at all hours of the night and day, and kids who like to use Steve’s truck as a playground.

Thank Jesus indeed.

Also our new bedroom is West facing, so no more mornings where we want to sleep in until the sun comes up and shines right into our window. YES!

Iron Man 2 did not suck, as I was worried it would. It was, actually, very entertaining. So well done! I loved the first one, but after Transformers: Revenge of the SUCK happened last year, I’m a little tentative about summer sequels. And what with Scarlett Johansen being in it…I was worried we were headed into one lame movie. But it wasn’t lame at all, very fun, very silly, and man do I LOVE that RDJ and Samuel L MotherF****r Jackson. I still feel bad for Terrence Howard, though. And Scarlett didn’t suck it up either because she didn’t talk much. That’s the key.

Another movie that didn’t suck? Robin Hood. First off, I can’t really stand Russell Crowe in anything but Master & Commander, so I went into this movie for two reasons: Cate Blanchett, who I adore, and Scott Grimes. Ginger Extraordinaire. I LOVE Scott Grimes. I adore him. I have his CD, watch any show he’s on, and, generally…have a mad Ginger Crush on him. (But he is second in my heart to All Gingers, as Damian Lewis is still my main Ginger love.) Anyway, so Robin Hood was very entertaining and surprisingly funny at times. The only grief I had over it was Cate Blanchett: Warrior Princess but…oh well. A lot of Scott Grimes as Will Scarlett and Kevin Durand (Keamy from Lost) as Little John being TOTAL BAMFS made the movie awesome. AWESOME. Like, I’m so in love with those two right now awesome. Love. Love. Love.

People’s Publishing has the best Wait/Hold Music. Last week I was treated to Elvis and Van Morrison while I waited. Recently it was Dean Martin swing followed by The Beatles and then James Taylor. This is just awesome.

Steve and I are very excited about moving, not just because of all the other stuff, but because we can’t wait to start nesting and set up Natalie’s room. People keep asking if I’ve been nesting, but truth is, I can’t until we move. But once we get into the new place…holy hell, look out, it’s going to be a nesting dream.

Speaking of Natalie, the little bumble bee is fine. She likes to rumble around in there some days, and stay really quiet on other days. It’s odd. I like her moving, though. It’s such a comforting, happy, silly little feeling that makes me laugh.

My dear and old friend Jayme is planning my baby shower for me. Thank God for her! If anyone wants an invite, let me know. You may already be on the list! But, seriously, I’m really excited/nervous about it. July 17th is the big day, and it’s going to be fun!

Other than that, life has been kinda normal. The County Fair is in town, so we’re going to go tonight and eat a ton of fried food and walk around and look at people and things. I love the Fair. I enjoy taking pictures of it, with all the colors and food and silliness. Last year a picture I took at the Fair ended up in the local paper. I am still proud.

Steve made bread last night out of his beer. Homemade bread out of homemade beer. I’m calling it Beard. It was really delicious.

And…that’s about it. Random things for my random life. How are you all? How have you been?

Love to you all!
♥♥Mags

Lost Thoughts: Across The Sea

2010-05-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hurm…
Well…

I think this is best summed up by texts between me and Bryan last night:
Me: “You worried we’re getting into some Harry Potter bullsh*t here?”
Bryan: “I’m just putting it out there, if we get a talking hat at any point in time, I’m done.”

Join me after the break while I try to make sense of all that happened last night.

President Bartlett would be so ashamed.

So…Ok, I’m going to try to get through this and save the rants for the end. If the recap seems short and the rants long, it’s because nothing really happened last night. And by nothing, I mean…seriously…very little happened. Sure, we got answers, but at the same time…Zzzzzzzzzz.

A pretty woman in a red dress survives a ship wreck and swims to shore. Also, she is PREGNANT. Holy cow, I can’t wait until I get that big. She wanders, pregnant, thirsty, stumbling, and fuzzy super far into the jungle to a stream (BS counter: 1) where she drinks the water deep and is all…ahhhhhh. I imagine, being that pregnant, she also has had to pee about 14 times between the beach and the stream, 6 miles in. Then, look! in the stream there is someone’s reflection and that someone is…

CJ CREEG!

Ok, so everyone is calling her CJ in their recaps. And I’m no different. Because I LOVE Allison Janney, because she was CJ. Because she would lip sync The Jackal, loved goldfish, Danny, was spunky, and all around one of the best written women in all of television. (Take heed, JJ Abrams, because that’s how you write a woman for television that is strong, frail, beautiful, bold, sassy, funny, human, faulted, and perfect. CJ is no Kate, and Kate could NEVER be CJ, and there’s a reason for that. CJ is amazing. Kate is a worthless sack of crap.)

Also if you don’t know that I’m talking about The West Wing here, just…go, go and get your hands on the first three seasons and just enjoy the brilliance that was one of the best shows on TV…until the last two seasons. Why do they all start to suck in the final seasons? I’m looking at you too, Lost.

Anyway, CJ takes Red Dress Pregnant Pretty Woman back to her cave (The same caves our Lostaways move into some time later), where they discuss who CJ is, she won’t tell, and other things. Of course, cue RDPPW going into to Labor, and we learn her name is Claudia. This makes me happy because of my beautiful Brazilian Lost buddy Claudia who I bonded with over our love of Ben. (Oh, I miss Ben.) So Claudia, with the help of CJ, goes starts to give birth (BS Counter: 2, because it’s so clichéd on a show any more). What a day, ship wrecked on a weird Island, stumbled for miles inland to find water, meets with CJ Cregg, and who then has to stare intently at her vagina, waiting for a baby to come out. Hi, we just met, do you mind helping me push a baby out of my bajango?

So Claudia gives birth, to a beautiful, if not weird looking little blond boy. She names him Jacob, and CJ wraps him in a white blanket, and he is serene, peaceful, and instantly taking the world in. Then what happens? Yep, you guessed it! Here comes Danny DeVito, it’s Twins time, and out comes another baby (BS Counter: 3! Again with the cliché, and also…you can’t feel two babies rumbling around in there? Like, really? My one makes herself known enough, kicking, punching, and moving. You can’t tell that there’s a second one kicking, punching, and moving? Really?! Have these writers ever even met a pregnant woman?!?). This new baby, who does not have a name because the mother didn’t think of one, is screaming, freaked out, and not at all at peace. He’s wrapped in a black blanket. (BS Counter: 4 and 5. First because who doesn’t have another name? She has a name for Jacob, but we all have at least two names picked out for our baby. Hell, Natalie has about 6 different options I’m going for, and her name is Natalie. Also, if I was having a son, I know that his name would be Jack but I have Elijah in my back pocket as well. If nothing else, she couldn’t have, I don’t know, named him after her father/lover/husband/brother/friend/creepy butcher down the street who stares at her breasts all the time? And second, TWINS?! CLICHÉ! CLICHÉ! BOOO!)

So, anyway, after getting a good look at the babies, CJ promptly bashes Claudia’s head in with a rock. Farewell, Claudia. We hardly knew thee.

We return when Jacob and Jacob’s Brother (Who still has no name, so we’re going to fall back to Esau), when they are, you know, about 13. Esau comes across a box in the sand, it’s a game of Backgammon, and prompts Jacob into playing it. Jacob, being a MAMA’S BOY! doesn’t want to because CJ will be angry. Esau doesn’t care, and gets Jacob to play anyway. I should point out now that Teen Jacob is kinda stupid, lame, a pussy, and gay. I’m just calling it like I see it. You know LOVE the Mo’s, but wee Jacob is not into the ladies. (According to my #1 Mo, Adult Jacob isn’t either. I concur with this statement.) Still, Teen Jacob looks a lot like Adult Jacob, so way to go casting. Teen Esau is going to be a heartbreaker when he is legal.

So later, Jacob returns to the caves and tries to lie to CJ, but does a horrible job at it. She tells him this, and mentions that Esau is just a better liar than his brother. Maybe that was at that point, maybe it was later, to Esau, I don’t remember. Anyway, she goes to have a talk with Esau on the beach, and it seems she left the game for him. I don’t think she did, because…why would she leave it in the surf? Oh well, anyway, they talk about what’s across the sea and she says there is nothing. The Island is the only thing in the world, and they are the only people. Esau asks about where they came from, and she says from their mother, who came from her mother, and so on. Esau asks about death, CJ tells him there is no need to worry about it, because it’s not going to happen. Right, make them watch this episode and they will want to die. … That’s a little harsh. Make them watch any of Kate’s episodes, and they will REALLY want to die. That’s the total truth.

Our boys go running after a boar, and encounter some men who kill it (BS Counter: 6. 13 years and they NEVER come across another person until now? That Island is like the size of the bathroom in my first apartment. Randomly big but still not so big that you don’t know someone else is there for 13 years!). They hide, but watch with curiosity, and then go screaming to their mother like a couple of pussies. Their mother tells them that these people, these…Others…are bad, and that ‘It always ends the same way’, and that the boys must stay away from them. Esau wants to know why, and she says because of something special or something, and Esau asks why and I hope I don’t have a kid like him. She thinks it’s too soon, but decides to still take them to a special place to show them their special fates and blahblahblah.

She blindfolds them and takes them to a special creek, where Esau asks all sorts of questions, including if they can hurt each other. CJ stops them, takes their blind folds off, and tells them she’s made it so that they can never hurt each other. Hurm. So that’s why Ben had to kill Jacob, because Flocke can’t. So she shows them this special place, and the way it’s filmed, in a cave by a waterfall or something with golden light…it looks like a giant nugget of gold (BS Counter: 7. The Island’s secret is an effing huge nugget of gold!?!). But really we see it’s just really golden light coming out of a cave (BS Counter: 6. Took a point away because it’s not an effing huge nugget of gold).

Both boys are stunned by its beauty, but Esau is a little more into it than Jacob, and asks questions about what it is. It’s…a source of all that is good in the world, of life, of everything. It’s The Source. It’s God? It’s love, Harry, that protected you this whole time. Wait...That IS from Harry Potter. It’s a really golden cave. CJ tells them they must never go into it, because it carries a fate worse than death. And they must protect it, because if Humans or Men or People get a hold of it, they would want too much, and be too greedy and human about it, so that must never happen. So it is her job to protect it, and one day, it will be one of their jobs. … I’d rather end up working at the Family Diner, but whatever.

Sometime later, while playing a game, Esau sees Claudia…and Jacob does not. Of course, I’m sure Jacob just discovered he has a belly button too. Esau follows Claudia, who takes him to a ridge overlooking The Other’s camp, where people mill about and tend to things and in general are making a living for themselves on Craphole Island. She tells him that these are his people, this is where he came from, on a ship, across the sea, where there are other places. This blows his mind. She tells him he has to return…or maybe he doesn’t…I don’t know. So later, Esau goes to get their things and Jacob, who doesn’t want to leave Mama CJ, and tries to run away. He tells Jacob the truth, that CJ killed their real mother and that they have people out there and blahblahblah, so Jacob tackles his brother and starts punching him in the face (BS Counter: 7. She just said they can’t hurt each other. What is Jacob doing? It looks like it would hurt to get punched in the face.)

CJ comes along and gets them to stop, but Esau has his mind made up, screams at his mom….his Fmom?...and goes off to live with his people. (BS Counter: 8. How does he explain where the hell he’s been for the last 13 years to these people?)

Much later, Adult Jacob is tending to the loom in the caves with not that much older CJ. Also, he’s still a whiny little bitch and I’m sure he is still trying to suckle his mother. Um, Lost, have we forgotten that not too long ago Jacob was a badass? Now he’s a pussy? (BS Counter: 9. REALLY?!) He later goes to spy on his brother in the camps, who knows he’s being spied on. Have I mentioned that, although Adult Jacob is handsome, HOLY CRAP is Adult Esau a hottie! Bryan and I noted this to text to each other. So they get together for a friendly game of backgammon, and talk about CJ and about the people, and blahblahblah. Esau wants off The Island and has found that in places, metal acts weird, and he proves this by throwing a knife that sticks to a well. Magnets. Or something. Blahblahblah this place is special, blahblahblah they talk about it. I’m starting to doze off at this point.

So Jacob goes back to this mother and they talk about Esau and what he’s up to…way to be a snitch, Jacob. This freaks out CJ, who goes to see Esau for herself. Also, at some point, Jacob and CJ talk about how CJ doesn’t love Jacob as much as she loves Esau, and it’s all a sibling thing and I’m bored. So anyway, CJ goes to see Esau, who is down in a tunnel, with a giant wooden wheel, and…this is the creation of the frozen Donkey Wheel! Expect it’s not frozen! What?! They talk about what Esau is up to, how he could never find the Special Golden Cave again, so he went looking in other places. Until he found a way, and that way is the Frozen Donkey Wheel Cave That Isn’t Yet Frozen. He’s going to get off The Island, God help him, and nothing can stand in his way!

CJ considers this, as Esau shows her that if you remove this perfectly shaped and easy to dislodge rock, look! Golden light! (BS Counter: 10. It’s just way, way too easy and I’m tired of things being so easy on TV.) CJ and Esau say their goodbye, and hug…and she smashes his head into the wall. Esau waked up sometime later, above ground, to find his hole filled in (giggity!) and all his people dead. Looks like CJ went a bit on the crazy side! I would have liked to have seen that. Faced with knowing he can’t get off The Island, Esau goes to the caves and confronts CJ. And by confronts her, I mean stabs her in the gut.

He’s pretty shocked that he’s done this, and understandably so, and as she lay dying they talk about…something. I don’t know. I was really getting tired at this point. And she thanks him for killing her. As you do. Jacob finds this, and…freaks out…and attacks his brother. (BS Counter: 11. It looks like it hurt. I’m just saying.) Jacob drags Esau through the Jungle, kicking him around the stream and stuff, hurting him, you know, contradicting the show. At one point he pushes Esau, who hits his head on a rock, and floats downstream into the Golden Cave…where he’s sucked into the water. There are rumbles and tumbles and a moment later, Smokey comes flying out, much to the shock of Jacob. (BS Counter: 12. Jacob inadvertently killed his brother. He pushed him, Esau hit a rock, and thus died. That would be murder in any court. Especially because he wanted to hurt him for killing CJ. Thus, THEY HURT EACH OTHER. WHAT THE HELL.)

So Smokey flies off into the trees, and on Jacob’s way back to the cave, he discovers his brother’s body in the water. I’ll get to my theory on that in a second. Jacob is…stunned, to say the least, and takes Esau’s body back to the caves. He then takes his brother, and his mother, and puts them on a rock shelf in the side of the wall. He takes the backgammon pieces, one black rock, one white rock, and places them in a pouch that he leaves with the bodies. He makes them hold hands, and steps back to look at their tomb.

Meanwhile, we’re treated to flashback/flash forwards of Useless Cow Kate (BS Counter: 13. I was hoping for a break from her stupid, useless face) and Jack finding the skeletons, the rocks, and Locke Mock 1 saying something about how they are Adam and Eve. Thus, we are treated to the answer of who Adam and Eve are. So this huge question that has been held over our heads for ages, is it Jack and Kate somehow, is it Rose and Bernard somehow, is it really Adam and Eve, blahblahblah, and it’s…CJ Cregg and Esau. I’m guessing no one saw that coming, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Jacob then says goodbye. Dun. LOST.

Theories/Thoughts/Rants
Huh.
So…

They couldn’t have…I don’t know…not wasted our precious time with only 4 hours left on that episode? Really? They couldn’t have given us that, say, earlier in the season? Because, sure, they kill The Kwons (BS Counter: 14. I’m still PISSED over their death) to show us that Flocke is evil, and then spend a whole hour making us feel sorry for him? WHAT?!

So aside from the fact that Jacob and Esau’s background hour was interesting, it also felt like a total waste of time. But, who am I to judge? The writer’s know what they are doing. UH, no they don’t. They really are making this shit up as they go along. At least, as a fan of the past 6 years, I expect a hell of a lot more out of them than what we have been given. But, whatever, it might get better.

Wait, how won’t it get better? Kate’s not going to die? We both know that she isn’t. To quote Sawyer….Sonofabitch.

Now, we know of course that the creepy ass kids that have been following Flocke are the younger versions of Esau and Jacob but…why?

Onto Smokey, Esau, his body, and everything else.
Esau clearly dies. His body is laying in the cave with CJ, and his skeleton is found later by a Cow and a crying Spinal Surgeon. But, who the hell is Smokey? Smokey is Esau too. But Smokey is Esau’s soul, which can take the form and has all the memories of his life before being sent into Willy Wonka’s Cave of Golden Death. Ok, so that’s all well and fine. I mean, it isn’t, but it is.

But instead of, I don’t know, ending the episode with Jacob looking like a stupid bitch (He’s a stupid bitch), and saying good bye to his brother, they should have ended it with Jacob seeing Esau/Smokey again. Cause, even on that Island, and Jacob being a bit of a child even at 44, if you suddenly see your dead brother, you are going to crap yourself. And that should have been the end. Him talking through the jungle or turning around in the cave or whatever, and seeing Esau/Smokey, who should have said, “Hello brother.” DUN! LOST.

But who’s looking out for the writing on this show? Defiantly not me.

(Harry Potter Spoilers here, though if you haven’t read them by now…why the hell not!?)
To explain the Harry Potter reference…Harry’s whole journey is about love and being good and having goodness in your soul and family and friends and is this ringing any bells for you Lost fans? I think JK Rowling needs to call up Damon and Carlton and say two words to them, “What, Bitches?”. Because this final journey we’re taking is just like book 7 of Harry Potter, complete with the needless deaths that destroy your soul. I’m looking at you, Lupin and Tonks. (BS Counter: 15. If you think I’m pissed about Jin and Sun, I still have not forgiven Rowling for killing off Lupin and Tonks. Their deaths all have lame excuses behind them, and I’m not buying it. Also, I’m sure this is all somehow Kate’s fault.)

But if ANYONE can tame Smokey, it is Haggred, because he’s a love. And Haggred is HP’s Hurley. So…Hurley had better not die either.

Also, CJ at one point gives Jacob a drink of wine out of the same bottle that Richard would later drink from. Thus proving that Jacob is now the Protector of The Island. And that he’s immortal. So, it’s all magic wine?

And where do all of Jacob’s powers come from? And Esau/Smokey’s for that matter? Because that sure as hell wasn’t explained. Are we just to take with a grain of salt that CJ is magic and now her boys are too because of The Island/Golden Cave/Love/Wine? What?

Also, you know Jacob is still a virgin. Esau, however, got some. You know it. I know it.

Finally, and this is the real kicker…
ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE OF ONE CRAZY MOTHER’S LIE AND TWO 13 YEAR OLD BOYS ANGST.
WHAT!?

Think about it…CJ lied to her boys, they hit 13, puberty, and got all angsty, and all of this…The deaths, The Island, the Lostaways, everything…is because of pubescent angst.

That’s the real truth here. A 13 year old boy going through his rebel stage is, really, the cause of all this other BS. That’s like BS Counter: 10000. Because, really? Really? I know that everyday bad things happen because of mundane, stupid reasons….but ALL of Lost falling back on the original sin of…I’m 13 and I hate you!? WHAT THE EFF!?

Actually, the original sin is “I’m a crazy woman who wants babies, I’m going to kill the mother, and lie to the boys.” Thanks, CJ. If all of this is really caused by one crazy Mom Lie…then shit I need to be careful about what I tell Natalie.

Run of the Night:
CJ Cregg, because she is amazing. Even when being written by writers who can’t write amazing women.

Lines!
✈“There is only me.” But where did you come from, CJ?
✈“There is nowhere else.” CJ
✈“I made it so that you can never hurt each other.” Obviously not, CJ.
✈“If the light goes out here, it’ll go out everywhere.” Somewhere, JK Rowling is sniffing the air of copyright infringement.
✈“One day you can make up your own game, and everyone will have to follow your rules.” Esau to Jacob. Ha.
✈“I’m going to show you where you came from.” Claudia to her son.
“Ewww!” Steve, going there. Oh Steve.

Sites!
The VideoGum Recap. It's hilarious, but the comments are the best.

Best Week Ever, because I ♥ Dan.

So…that was that. We have three and a half hours left. In two weeks, we will know the truth of Lost. And I’m thinking most of us are going to be sitting around, looking at each other, confused and pissed off. If you want a good ending, read Harry Potter.

Ciao!
♥

Muttie OR Upside Down Wow

2010-05-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

(Written Saturday night, May 8th, 9010)
I've been thinking alot about being a Mom lately. About how I am one now, about my own Mom, her Mom, and Moms in general. This whole world, all our cultures, all our religions, all our differences, are all connected because of Moms. We are all here becuase of our mothers, who are/were here because of their Moms. We try to be so different, but truth is, we are all children, and somewhere, our Mothers love us. So, we're not that different after all.

Forgive me for waxing so poetic. I'm tired, full, and sitting with my husband while he watches Iron Man. I spent the day with my Mom, laughing, being silly, and treating eachother. She took me for my Gluclose testing, to make sure I don't get the diabetes from being pregnant. She put up with me while I was grouchy from havig not eaten in 12 hours, stood in line for me at the blood lab while I sat in the shade, weak and faint, she drove me to another blood lab when we learned it would be an hour just for them to call my name at the one we were at. She sat with me while I waited the hour after drinking that gross sugar drink, and drove me to Chinese food after we were done.

I took over from there, treating her to lunch, teaching her all sorts of new, interesting things (Low Hangers, The Shocker, Hubert Keller, how to properly eat a cupcake, etc). We hung out, happily, and I don't think we could have asked for a better day together. A perfect Mother's Day, even if it was the day before.

People keep telling me "Happy Mother's Day!" but it honestly weirds me out just a bit. I know I am a Mother, as I am carrying a baby as I type this. But...maybe I consider it to early to celebrate. Yeah, I'm a Mom, but not entirely. I think I'll consider next year to be my first real Mother's Day, and I am ok with that. Still, it means the world to me that people keep saying it to me. It is so weird but so wonderful to hear.

Today I was reminded how awesome my Mom is, not that I had forgotten, and I am so grateful for her. She is a wacky, silly, smart woman who is quick witted and hilarious person. Mostly unintentionaly hilarious, but she still always makes me laugh. And though we've had our moments, like all children have, there hasn't been one day that I didn't love the hell out of her. I'm lucky she's mine...And I hope Natalie feels the same way about me.

I've had a lot of fun with Mom, but in true Mom fashion, she's taken pretty damn good care of me. We've cried a lot together, been through some terrible situations, been in some pretty honest ones, and have always come out as best friends and true partners. I'm so lucky for that. And now that I'm having a baby, she's been behind us 100%, so thrilled, so supportave, and so much fun to plan baby things with. I cannot wait to see her with Natalie. It's going to be epic.

Pictures!

See what I mean about her being unintentionally hilarious? I call this one her David Letterman Picture, because I think she looks like him. We laugh, a lot, about this picture.

Or this one, which I took at The Getty. I told her to stand by this painting, not look at it, while I took her picture. When she turned around, and realized that the woman looked like her...in like 40 years....we laughed so hard we were sobbing on the floor. The Getty Guards had to come by and tell us to be quiet, we were making such a fuss.

So I hope you all go out and love your Moms today. They may be nutty, strange, hard to deal with or just...Human. But they are our Moms, and we have to love them. How could we not? They gave us life.

Is this all sappy and silly? Maybe I'm just happily tired. I love you, silly beautiful people. Go forth and be good to Mothers, always, for without them...We wouldn't be here, and without mine, life would be a lot less fun.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Mags

Happy Mother's Day!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Lost Thoughts: The Candidate

2010-05-05T18:51:00.000-07:00

I…How…I…

*sobs*

Join me after the break if…if…if your heart can take it.

What…what….WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

(I'm not going to lie, this is less of a recap and more of me just going a bit bat ass crazy and ranting. If you want a recap, skip to the very end, there is a little one down there.)

I don’t even want to write this recap. I don’t want to put myself through it again. Stuff happened. People died. Useless people lived. In LAX Land, blahblahblah WHO CARES.

For once...for once, I don't mind Jack's Jears. Because his jears were our jears. The whole of Lost Fans were jearing.

Who won this episode?
NO ONE.

Lines of the night?
… There were a few but who cares!?

I feel…I really feel like they just…like the deaths we suffered last night were for no other reason than to just break our hearts. “Let’s see,” the writers said to themselves, “It’s the end of the series and people need to die, because that’s just how it goes, so who should we kill tonight?! Oh, I know, not that useless, worthless, lame ass Kate but how about our beloved Kwon’s. We won’t give them a happy ending. We won’t let at least one couple have a good life after this all ends. NOPE. Let’s kill them because that will break everyone’s heart.”

They’ve already killed off characters just for that emotional punch in the nuts. Libby? Died just so people would feel bad that worthless Anna Lucia died too. So how do I trust that they didn’t feel anything other than cruelty and spite and “HA! This will make ‘um cry!” at the tragic and utterly useless deaths of Jin and Sun.

I’m a writer, damnit. I know what it is like to kill a character. Sometimes you have to. Sometimes it is someone’s turn to die and you choose and it is heart breaking but it has to be done. Because their story is over. Jin and Sun’s story was NOT over. They were reunited for a day. Their daughter will now grow up barely remembering her mother and never knowing her father. These two went through hell, stuck it out through their love, and what happens? What effing happens?! They drown on a submarine. That’s what happens.

THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN.

Sayid? I get. He redeemed himself in the end, trying to prevent the deaths of his friends.
Frank? It made me sad but, sure, he was there just for one liners and to look at his pretty blue eyes.
Jin and Sun?! REALLY?! The two that could have had a good life after all of this. The two with the child. The two who were parted for so long and then were finally together again. No, no, THEY TOTALLY NEEDED TO DIE. *shakes fist*
And the worst of all of this is?! KATE LIVES.

THAT USELESS, WORTHLESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING OTHER THAN EFFING EVERYTHING ELSE UP DUMB PIECE OF BIMBO TRASH LIVES.

I swear to God. I swear…I try really hard not to just hate people for no reason, but I hate that stupid cow with every fiber of my very being. I hate her even though she’s fictional. I hate Evangeline Lilly. HATE HER. And her stupid face and her dating and then dumping and then dating Dom. I hate her for Kate and I shall never like her and I will try really hard not to wish terrible things upon her because she is a real person but if I ever met her I might just punch her in the face.

*huffs and puffs*
As you can tell, I did not take last night’s episode well. I’m still welling up and wanting to cry over it. I am still so angry. SO VERY ANGRY.

And you’re thinking, “It’s just a show”, or maybe, “It was meant to be/their story was over/their deaths were not useless/whatever” but honestly, I don’t care. I don’t want to hear, “Oh, you have to trust the writers” or “This is how is was planned” or whatever. This season is a LET DOWN. It is a massive punch in the throat when you think you’re getting a cupcake let down. It has been useless. Of the, what, 13 or 14 episodes, barely half have been in any way good. I’m officially on the band wagon of, “They are making this shit up as they go along.”
The only reason I’m sticking with it, is because I want to see how it ends.

I mean…who didn’t have high hopes for the end of this series? Who didn’t want it to be so much more than it is now? Who out there, reading my stupid little blog, thinks that this season has been good? I ask you? I’ve been watching this show since the first episode aired. I’ve been with it, through the 9 month breaks and the pointless questions with no answers and the deaths…the deaths of so many who became beloved to my heart. This show has been on my mind for so long. And this season is just letting me down. It is failing me. They had a chance. One final, perfect season. Who wasn’t excited for it to happen? And now that it’s happened? Now that it’s almost over? Dear God, I don’t care. I hate it. I hate it and I hate Damon and Carlton and I hate what they have done to an epic show. I’ve stuck it out. I’ve been the loyal fan. I’ve defended it to people who don’t watch it and told people it’s the best show on TV.

It’s not. It’s worthless. And I’m angry for all of my life that has been given over to this useless show where the heart can die but KATE LIVES.

Wow. I am pissed. Like mega pissed.

*throws something*

The probability of this even making it into my blog is slim. SLIM. I honestly could chuck it and write a normal recap and you would never know.
OR
I post it and you all can see the extent that this stupid show has taken over my heart and how pissed and broken the last episode made me.
….
…
They couldn’t have just given Sun and Jin a happy ending? That was so hard? Really? I mean…really?

If Hurley dies, Lost, you and I are DONE. If you kill off Hurley at any point before the season ends, I swear to all things good and holy in this world, I will punch someone in the face.

BECAUSE SOMEONE DESERVES TO MAKE IT OUT ALIVE AND GIVEN A HAPPY ENDING.
And if it’s Kate over Hurley, I will punch a bitch in the face. I swear to God, Writers, if you spare Kate’s life over Hurley, I will stop at nothing to destroy every copy of Lost EVER and I will erase it from history. I will go to people’s houses and burn DVD’s. I swear to all that is decent in this world, you can slowly kill Sawyer over the course of several hours, you can take Ben, you can take Richard, you have taken Sun and Jin and I don’t even care if Desmond, Penny AND Baby Charlie die, but if you kill off Hurley, I will destroy you.

Because he, at least, out of all of them, he is the one we love. Who can hate Hurley? Who could possibly think that lovable man, that sweet, big hearted, huggable marshmallow puff deserves to die over Kate? If you do, than we need to stop being friends.

Seriously.

Seriously.

Because if it’s Kate over Hurley, than there is no reason to even continue on with this show. If he dies and that stupid bitch lives, I will turn off the TV, even if there are only 6 minutes left in the season finale. THIS I PROMISE YOU.

And what else? Sayid get's a heroic send off, Sun and Jin get the most heartbreaking send off ever, and Frank is just written away like it's nothing. Oh, yeah, and Frank died. Like...we allllllllll love Lupidus. And his death is just...it happens and than it's over. Way to make everyone feel sorry for everyone's favorite blue eyed, bare chested, bacon loving pilot.

*Sits back, wipes away tears, chuckles, sighs, throws something, drops the F Bomb…a lot, cries some more, shakes head*

Where was I?

If you’ve made it this far past my ranting and general insanity, than…well…Let me know and I’ll buy you a cupcake.

I honestly don’t even want to write the recap. I don’t. I want to just…leave it at that. We all saw it. We all watched what happened. We focused on stupid Jack in LAX Land, we found out that Locke Mock 2 is crippled because of a plane crash, his father is a vegetable…although, in fairness, the son of a bitch deserves it.

Seriously, if Anthony Cooper, Locke’s dad, is the reason that LAX Sawyer’s family is dead, than I honest to god don’t care that he’s a drooling mess. I don’t. The bastard should be brain dead. Locked in his shell of a body. That revelation didn’t pull at my heart strings, and finding out Locke was in a plane crash and can’t walk did nothing to make me feel for him. WHY?! Because they aired that AFTER they killed Sun and Jin. At that point, I was crying so hard, I couldn’t have cared less what Locke was saying.

Anyway, Jack also reached out to Claire, which was sweet. I guess.

On the Island…stuff happened. The Lostaways were put in the bear cages, Kate’s life was threatened and spared, the plane was rigged with C4, Flocke tried to blow up our Lostaways, Sayid died, Frank died, Sun and Jin uselessly died, Kate lived for some stupid reason, and Hurley sobbed.

Hurley crying was the worst. His broken heart echoed out to all of our broken hearts, and thus destroyed them further.
That’s it. That happened.

Run of the night?
NO ONE. We all lost. Every one of us lost out in the end. Especially not Sawyer, because all those deaths WERE HIS FAULT. Now I hate you too, Sawyer.

Lines:
“There is no Sayid.” That line, quite possibly, is my favorite line ever uttered on this show, and then I totally forgot about it because we were subjected to the most heartbreaking deaths over.

I…I give up. The anger I feel, on top of having had a pretty crap day…it…I’m done. Done and done.

One of THOSE Days.

2010-04-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

It’s been a long day, and it hasn’t been the best of days. It’s been, actually, a pretty crappy day, and as you’re reading this, I’m hopefully going to be laying in bed, in my jammies, with Steve, watching Top Chef Masters and hoping for snow so that I can have tomorrow off.

I actually wrote another post but it was just too silly and weird. So here’s this one. Short, sweet, and if I can find one, some silly little picture to make you and me smile.

Oh, or this one instead, because it is so badass, one cannot feel anything other than amazement at looking at it.

Batman, wielding a light saber, about to kill a shark. That, my friends, is one B.A.M.F. picture.

Have any of you ever looked at Badass of the Week? It’s a history website where a guy writes about one Badass a week. It’s pretty amazing. Also it’s extremely profane, so if any of you don’t like swear words riddling your history lessons…best to check out something else. Like IMMD or Cute Overload.All of these websites I could use right now.

All right, I’m out. I’m going to sleep and it’s going to be awesome.
Let’s hope tomorrow is better, in any way, shape, or form.

I’ll just be happy if that damn wind settles down.
Peace out,
♥♥♥Mags

Little Thoughts

2010-04-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

I’m in my 6th month of pregnancy, and I’m just starting to feel pregnant. Actually, I think it’s finally sinking in. Maybe it’s because we’re looking for a new place to live, or because we’re getting gifts, or possibly because she’s moving around like a super hero in there. Whatever it is, suddenly it’s like, “Well, I really AM pregnant”, and it’s cool.

Not that I’ve forgotten or in any way been unaware of this little life growing in me. No, since I’ve found out, and even a little bit before I knew for sure, I was totally aware of my new wee friend.

Still, suddenly it seems more real. I’m more than half way there. Before I know it, I’ll be 15 weeks away, then 10, then 5. I keep thinking about the birth and the pain involved, but I don’t fear it. It feels like something that’s just going to happen and then it’ll be over and then, bam, there’s my daughter. Like, this is what my body was made to do. This is what my life as a woman has lead up to. Instead of being afraid of it, I make jokes about the birthing process, mainly after birth jokes, and mainly at Steve’s expense. We like to try and gross each other out. That’s how we roll, the husband and I.(Be thankful I'm not linking you to a video of a seal giving birth. I'll just...leave it there.)

Lovely news, though, is that Steve felt little Natalie move for the first time on Sunday. We were lying in bed, watching SNL from the night before, and she was kicking something fierce! So I took his hand, placed it on my belly, and held it down. He usually doesn’t feel around for too long when I do this, because the moment I do, she stops. Instead, after a moment and me telling him to just wait, be both felt a little *Thwack*. He looked at me, went, “Wait…was that…?” and I instantly burst into tears. Yes, honey, it was. Then three more times. *Thwack, thwack, THWACK* I’d like to think she knew he was there, and was saying, “HI DAD!”

It was a special moment, and I’m really happy Steve finally had that experience.

He’s also started reading to her. Last Friday, and this upcoming Friday, and every week for the next 4 years, he’s going to read to her. So, of course, now she’s in the womb and can hear sounds (But not like we can hear sounds), so he’s reading her The Hobbit. I angle my tummy, close my eyes, take a nap, while he reads to her. Apparently last week he was giving all the characters voices. I think this week I need to stay awake for part of that just to hear how adorable it’s going to be.

People have also asked about her name, and it is going to be Natalie Ann. I know I was thinking Elizabeth, and it is such a special name to me. People have asked why I don’t just make it Natalie Elizabeth. Well, first off, Natalie Elizabeth Barnhart is a long, long name to spell. Also, I don’t want to use up both of my favorite girl names on one baby! What if I have another daughter? No, Natalie Ann and Elizabeth Rose will be too different people. I just hope I get both of them! (Of course, if my wee baby is born on August 21st, like her lovely Aunt Liz, she might just get a name change.)

At least this whole thing was a joke, although I should have let it drag on a bit.

Seriously, what horrible human being would do that to a child? I ask you?!(It looks weird, I know, but it's the only way I could post it without the picture being really small. Just go with me on that one.)

Anyway, this is a silly little post, as most of mine are. There is no Lost this week, so I can spare you all the Recap goodness and my utter hate for that utterly useless creature known as Kate.

I think I’m going to go have a snack and relax for a bit. Mmmm, freezer pops.
Tata, lovelies!
♥♥Mags

Lost Thoughts: The Last Recruit.

2010-04-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

I can’t stop laughing over what happened in last week’s episode. Man, it was…brilliant.

Some people loved this episode, some people hated it, I felt very little for it. It was interesting, a few more secrets shared…but man, with 6 hours left, you’d think they’d have used this hour for good. Instead, they used it for…What?...and now we have 5 hours left. Yay! Thanks Lost Writers.

Join me after the jump for after the jump jumpiness.

Oh, Lost.

Can I just get it out there? Cause I can’t really hold it in anymore?
I REALLY EFFING HATE NOT TINA FEY.
Not that I’ve been holding it in, at all, from my recaps. But seriously…I hate that stupid bitch’s face so much, every time she appears, I want to turn the TV off. Despite all the other lameness of this season, Not Tina Fey’s character is the worst. I want to see Real Tina Fey punch a bitch in the face.

Right, where were we?
In LAX Land, Ben is riding in the back of the ambulance with Locke, but since he doesn’t know anything about Locke, not even his name, he’s being kinda useless to the EMT who is asking. But he’s still looking fine. I love you, Benry! Locke manages to choke out his name, and then Helen’s name, saying he was going to marry her. Ben reassures him he still will. It’s sweet. Also, the EMT figures the wheel chair saved Locke’s life.

Once at the hospital, Locke is unloaded right alongside Sun, who, remember, was shot. Jin tries to be reassuring, but Sun is freaking out because she somehow recognizes and fears Locke. Maybe cause her near death experience is causing her to see her sideways Island life? Maybe? Who knows. They are taken into the hospital for treatment.

Elsewhere, and let’s get this uselessness out of the way, Cop Sawyer is questioning Useless Kate about being useless or something. They banter in the police station and there’s sexual tension and OH MY GOD I DON’T CARE. This Sawyer/Kate/Jack/My Fist love triangle thing has got to die already. Just. DIE. GUH. Miles interrupts this uselessness to tell Sawyer about all the deaths going on at that restaurant where Jin, Sun, Sayid, Keemy, and One Eye were. Seems all the blame is put on Sayid, and let’s hope that LAX Land CSI’s are terrible at their job and don’t realize that Jin killed someone too.

Meanwhile, Sayid rushes back to his brother’s house, where Nadia is all worried and what not, Sayid tells her it’ll be ok, and tries to pack to run. There’s a knock on the door, because damn them LAPD are fast, and while Nadia tries to stall Miles, Sayid runs out the back door. Only to be brilliantly tripped by Sawyer and his hose. (That line was for Bryan, cause I know he’s slipped away to happy land at the thought of Sawyer and his hose. You’re welcome, Mo.) Sawyer promptly arrests Sayid.

Claire, meanwhile, cause this is an Uber LAX Land trip, is signing into a building with an adoption agency, when Desmond creeps up on her. He’s seriously creepy in LAX Land, what with his creepiness and all. He keeps talking to her as she signs in, rides the lift, and is on her way into the adoption agency, but Des is able to creepily convince her to visit a lawyer friend of his on the same floor. Riiiiiiiight. Then, when Claire walks with him into the Law Offices of Bob Oblaw (God, I wish), who comes out? Ilana.

Remember Ilana? Yeah? Let’s remember what happened to her.

I seriously could watch this. All. Day.

Anyway, Ilana, no longer in pieces, or a bitch, has conveniently been looking for Claire! WHAT?! Ok, Lost, I can totally get these people randomly bumping into each other. I will take your word for it, when Chang knows Hurley and Sawyer catches Kate and Jack cries like a little baby, but seriously? Seriously? Claire just wondering/forced into the same office where a Lawyer, Ilana, has been looking for her? I’m officially laying the Bullshit card on the table.

ANYWAY. Jack and his Son come into the same building as Claire and Des and Ilana, they sign in, Jack talks to his ex-wife (Which, mark my words people, whoever this woman is will be a huge let down), while Jack and his Son share some sort of pleasant conversation. Leading us to believe that they are cool with each other. They are there to hear the reading of Jack’s Dad’s Will, and when they walk into the room, who is there? But Claire. And what happens? They find out they are siblings. It’s….awkward. To say the least.

Dude, when I met my half brothers, I ran up to them, hugged them all tight like, and welcomed them right in. I didn’t burst into tears like a little girl, Jack.

Jack gets a call, saying he’s needed for emergency surgery, so he has to take off from this otherwise totally awesome family reunion. Jack takes his son to the hospital, asks if he is going to be all right while Jack is in surgery, and then goes into wash up. Um. What? My appendix being removed took an hour, and poor Steve had to wait that whole time. And that is a simple one! Can you imagine how long emergency back surgery on someone is going to take? And that kid is just totally fine with sitting around and doing nothing? For at least 8 hours? He must be Jack’s son, because he’s just as useless as the rest. What the hell is that kid going to do for that long?!

Jack scrubs in, gets prepped on the Sack he’s about to work on, walks in, prepares to cut into The Sack, and realizes that he knows who’s Sack he’s about to slice. It’s Locke’s. Jack is going to make Locke walk again. By playing with his Sack. (I’m trying here, people. Give me a bone!)

Meanwhile, and happily, Sun wakes up in the hospital, with Jin by her side. She’s ok, the baby is ok, and they are going to be ok. Awww. Let’s hope that the LADP doesn’t mess it up.

On The Island!
We pick up where we left off, with everyone staring at each other and Jack having just crapped his pants. He then goes off with Flocke for a little chat. They discuss a lot of things, but it’s clearly a standoff. We’re treated to another throwaway answer, that Flocke once dressed up like Jack’s Dad to ‘lead them to water’, when actually he almost killed Jack by sending him off a cliff. (First season? Remember? No? Me either. Steve had to tell me.) But I don’t believe that every time we’ve seen Jack’s Dad it was Flocke. I don’t know. I kinda don’t care at this point. Anyway, Jack asks why Flocke chose Locke, and Flocke, once again, goes off on what a big loser Locke was.

Ease up, dude. What, does Locke have terrible breath or something? I don’t understand the hate Flocke has for Locke! But, awesomely, Jack stands up for Locke, and he clearly isn’t into having any of the kool-aid that Flocke is hocking. Then, just for good measure, we’re treated to a Claire/Jack reunion that is sweet in a very odd sort of way. Jack weeps a little, of course, and Claire acts crazy, again, duh, and Jack wants to know what the deal is with Flocke. Claire crazily says that she follows him, and so will Jack, because Jack let Flocke talk to him. This guy is a Sith Lord, if his voice is that smooth and awesome.

The next morning, Hurley and Sawyer talk, and we are not treated to an unbelievably adorable Hurley/Sawyer hug, dammit. They talk about something, Sayid being a crazy Zombie and The Force, when who walks in? Not Tina Fey. ONCE AGAIN, a ton of people have perfect opportunity to kill her in her stupid face. And does she die? NOPE. Flocke tells his men to stand down. UGH. HATE. Hate soooo much. She says that something has been taken from Widmore, and he wants it back. Well, it’s in a Well on another part of The Island so…you can’t have it. Flocke plays dumb and Not Tina Fey radios in a random mortar attack, just to prove to Flocke that they ain’t messing around. I hate that stupid bitch. So. Much. Flocke has until nightfall to return Desmond, or the place gets blowed up.

Not Tina Fey walks away, all living and stupid, and Flocke is all, “So it begins” or something Théoden like. (Note, my writing program totally knows the word Théoden already. That’s awesome, spell check thing! What about Eowyn? Galadriel? Frodo? Elrond? … Hum. Faramir? So it didn’t like Eowyn and Faramir. I call lame on you, Spell Check, for not liking my two favoritest characters.) Where was I? Oh yeah, so Flocke wants his flock to move out, and in the mean time, Sayid is sent to dispatch of Desmond. Grumble. Flocke then has Sawyer and Kate go get a boat that is hidden so that the Flocke Flock can move easily over to Hydra Island and there will hopefully be Not Tina Fey death.

Meanwhile, Jack is watching all of this go down with a stupid look on his face and holding onto his riffle for dear life. Someone needs a hug. I’m surprised he’s not crying.

Sawyer calls Jack over and gives him a rundown of, ‘To hell with this Flocke guy, we got a deal with Widmore, and when the time is right bring Hurley, Sun, and Frank, meet me and Useless at these docks, and let’s get the hell off this Island.’ Jack sobs and asks about Claire. Sawyer doesn’t want the crazy train that is Claire to be a part of this mission, and Jack is totally fine with once again ditching his little sister. Jack, you’re such a nice guy.

So everyone goes off in some random direction. Sayid goes to the well where he is about to kill Desmond. Des talks to him about why he’s doing this, and what Flocke promised to give Sayid, and how he will explain to Nadia why she is alive at the death of another. Sayid seems to take it in stride, and we never see him kill Desmond. So…fingers crossed, brothah.

Meanwhile, Sawyer keeps Kate in the dark about the other plan until they get to the boat, because since she is useless, she’d likely have told Flocke all about it.

Still meanwhile, Flocke is getting worried that it’s taking Sayid way too long to return, so he goes off in search for him. Jack takes this opportunity to steal away with Sun, Hurley and Frank. First off, when they do this, none of The Others seem to notice or care that the 4 important and new people just suddenly stop walking and then disappear. Apparently, these people are not that smart. The only one who notices is Claire, who follows them.

Meanwhile more, Flocke finds Sayid, asks what is taking so long, and Sayid tells him he just killed an unarmed man, so he needed a moment. Flocke seems to believe that Desmond is dead, but I’m still not buying it.

Finally, Sun, Frank, Jack, and Hurley make it to the boat, which, by the way, is Desmond’s boat from when he was first got to The Island. They meet up with Sawyer and Kate, and of course Claire comes along all ready to shoot Kate. Sawyer wants to leave her, but Kate won’t go unless Claire does, saying that she will actually take her back to Aaron, whereas Flocke is surely lying about it, and blahblahblah.

Lost…you’ve given Claire like 3 chances to kill Kate in her stupid, useless face. And what does Claire do? Not kill Kate in her stupid, useless face. This is starting to be a letdown, Show. Because if I hate anyone, it is that stupid, useless cow that is Kate. Damnit. So Claire gets safe passage on the boat, and our merry band of Lostaways takes off.

On the boat, everyone but Jack, Kate and Sawyer goes down inside to check out food. Jack and Sawyer have a heart to heart, where Jack is sure that this is a mistake. Surely, Flocke wants them to leave The Island, but what if he’s more afraid that they stay? I’d be afraid that they stay, because that means we’d have to put up with Kate some more, the stupid cow. Sawyer can’t believe that Jack would want to stay on The Island, and tells him to get off his boat with those crazy ideas. So Jack, being smart, says he’s sorry that Juliet died and then jumps off the boat. Oh. Jack. Kate of course starts crying and freaking out, and I half expect her to jump in after him, but she doesn’t. Jack swims away.

When Sawyer and his group get to Hydra, Not Tina Fey and her goons come out with guns raised, but Sawyer claims he had a deal with Widmore for the safe passage of the people he chose. So with guns lowered for a moment, everyone looks at each other before…and this made the episode totally worth it, Jin comes out from the trees and sees Sun. For the first time in like 3 years. It’s…heart breaking and lovely. They run into each others arms, kiss, reunite, and tell each other in English that they love each other. So Sun has her English back…and Frank uselessly points it out. Yes, we know Frank. Thank you for ruining the moment.

Not Tina Fey gets a call from Widmore saying the Deal with Sawyer is off, so once again guns are raised and the Lostaways are forced to their knees. Crap.

Finally, and crap has this recap taken a while, Jack makes it back to The Island, only to land right where Flocke and some Others are. Flocke is unsurprised that Sawyer took the boat, and a little shocked that Jack returned. Jack says something, I think, about something. I don’t remember. Because Not Tina Fey radios in a mortar attack and the beach where Flocke and Jack are blows up. Jack is thrown across the sand, the red shirt Others are killed, and while he is dazed and confused, Jack is carried away by Flocke. Flocke reassures him that, “you’re with me now.”

Dun. LOST.

Thoughts and Theories:
UGH.
I don’t know. It wasn’t the worst episode this season, even if it was Kate heavy, it just wasn’t….ok, so the promo for it last week was totally badass with the Willy Wonka thing and then we’re treated to just a so-so episode where not a lot happened. We have 5 hours left, and they seem to be wasting it. I know you’re mostly for the ride and telling me to relax, but….I expect more out of the show I’ve been hooked on for 6 years.

I think that Richard, Ben and Miles are going to save Sawyer’s group. At least I hope they do. I also hope that stupid Not Tina Fey just dies already. I don’t even care if it’s from a bug biting her, a popped blood vessel in her brain, or Claire straight up killing a bitch. Just kill the bitch already. God.

So Jack is set up to take Jacob’s spot, which Steve suspected all along. I don’t think he’s dying and will need Flocke’s back to life zombie powers. It’s hard to say where they are taking it, but in the end I think it’ll come down to Jack Vs. Flocke.

And that’s about it.

Run of the night:
Sawyer, cause he had all the best damn lines. And Sun and Jin, for having an ok baby in LAX Land, and finding each other again on Hyrda. Awww.

Lines!
✈“I think we have some catching up to do.” Flocke
✈“Sayid’s not invited. He’s gone over to the dark side.” Sawyer, explaining to Hurley in terms he knows.
✈“Who the hell is Aniken?” Sawyer, when Hurley tries to explain back to Sawyer in terms he knows.
✈“Who is she?” Hurley.
“Not Tina Fey.” Steve, talking to the TV.
✈“Well here we go.” Flocke gets all Théoden on us.
✈“What did Not Tina Fey ever do to you?” Steve asks while I’m ranting about how much I hate her during a commercial break.
“She appeared.” I reply, bitterly.
✈“That pilot that looks like he stepped off the set of a Burt Reynolds movie.” Sawyer, describing Frank. HA!
✈“Chesty.” Yet another great name for Frank via Sawyer.

I gotta run, kiddos. I don’t feel that hot and want to rest.
This show had better not let us down.
♥♥Mags

Silly Things Our Parents Do

2010-04-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

When my Dad is standing in line at a grocery store, usually with two items, and having been behind someone who has a billion items in the Express Lane and then had a trillion coupons, and then paid in One Dollar Bills and a thousand nickels, he’ll walk up to the frazzled cashier, and say loud enough for the people behind him to hear and say, “Can you take an out of state check with no ID?”

This usually gets big laughs, at least after a moment or two for people to realize he’s just messing with them. It’s part of my dad’s charm, he’ll have a big goofy smile, he’ll wiggle those bushy eyebrows, and people laugh.

I do it too, I say the same thing from time to time, usually after being stuck behind someone taking FOREVER to check out. “Hi! Can you take an out of state check with no ID?” And people laugh, mostly, and I whip out my money or card, and make silly jokes. I do this, because my dad did it, and watching him helped further along my sense of humor and outgoing nature to talk to anyone. And I hope that Natalie and all my future kids pick up on this too, and maybe one day when they are older, and stuck in line at the grocery store, they will whip out that ol’ Saar standby to make someone smile and laugh.

I often complain to anyone who will listen that my family has no tradition. We don’t really do anything special for holidays, we don’t follow or even really know, the culture of our ancestors, we don’t have yearly vacations to some place together. We are Mutts in our blood line, and no one has branched out to make a tradition that the whole family can follow. But, there are little, mini traditions that we have that, although it doesn’t seem big, it is a part of us.

Like on Christmas, we open our gifts slowly and throughout the whole day, instead of ripping into them all in ten minutes. It sucks as a child, “Ok, Maggi, you can open your stocking before breakfast, and then two or three gifts after breakfast, and then one before lunch, and then some after lunch, and then the rest after dinner.” But, it makes Christmas last all day, instead of five minutes at 6AM, and I like that.

Or how some mornings I would wake up, and my Mom would ask what I had to do during my first period of school. If it was nothing, she’d whisk me off to my favorite breakfast place to have pancakes and miss out on Econ. (This was always awesome of my mom in my senior year.) Or waking up to the lovely smell of Egg In The Holes cooking, or going to a walk and then having Mom whip up a Monkey Flip.

I will totally make my kids Egg In The Holes and Monkey Flips. Egg In The Hole, for you sad people who don’t know, is a piece of buttered, grilled bread with a hole in the middle of it that you cook an egg in. It’s a fried egg inside of toast, and it is magical. If you cook it just right, the bread is crisp, buttery, and soft, and the egg yolk is still runny but the whites have set, and it is the perfect breakfast. (Mind you, the Egg In The Hole is known by many, many different names. This is just the one my mom taught me, and that I will teach my child.)

A Monkey Flip is a banana smoothie that always tastes the same but doesn’t always have the same ingredients. It’s pretty straight forward, bananas, milk, ice, peanut butter, maybe some yogurt, maybe some ice cream, maybe a dash of powdered Vanilla Slim Fast mix (Which we almost always had in the house). Mom would throw it together, whip it up in the blender, pour it into a glass, and I would greedily drink away. I love Monkey Flips. I wish we had a good blender (Our blender is total crap) so that I could make them in the morning before work. Best had on a warm day, and as a mid morning snack or when too rushed to have a proper breakfast.

I keep thinking about my daughter and how we’re going to raise her. What traditions we’re going to instill into her little soul. I have my own, my dad’s stupid jokes, my mom’s easy breakfast plans, and I’m sure Steve has some too. And in the meantime, we’ll build up grander traditions, even make up a few, so that our child’s life is rich and full. I want her to play on the same beaches I did as a kid, and know the house that Mommy was born in, and to expect random day adventures out of town, and to wake up on a Saturday to do chores, but instead get sucked into three classic films in a row with her parents. I want Natalie to know just who everyone in It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is and why it is one of the funniest movies on this planet. And maybe every Sunday will be Cornbread and Bacon for breakfast, while dinner is barbecue and family night.

In other words, I want to raise my daughter with some of the lovely perks I had growing up, and to pass on to her the silly things my parents passed on to me. I just hope she enjoys is as much as I did.

I have to ask, what sort of silly things did your parents do for you? What little traditions will you pass on down to your kids?

I should go. But know I love you!
♥Mags

Lost Thoughts: Everybody Loves Hugo

2010-04-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

The 'Every Other Episode SUCKS' streak is over! At least, we can hope it's over, because with only, what, 6 hours left, if they put us through more sucking, I'm going to be pissed.

In other news, what do I have to do in order to get this award? Because I WANTS IT, PRECIOUS.

Seriously, I want to put that on my shelf, and back light it with faerie lights.That is the coolest award on the face of EVER.

Join me after the jump for my beloved Hurley, some surprise guests, a couple 'OMG: WTF?!' moments, and maybe one too many Drag Queen Gif's. Maybe.
All I can say to last night's episode was...WOW. Just...WOW.

We shall start in LAX Land, where Hurley is getting an award from PF Chang's. Wait, no, from Dr. Chang, for all his hard work with Mr. Cluck's and being an all around awesome rich dude. Also, there was a blink and ya miss it cameo of Jorge Garcia's little dog, Nunu, which I caught instantly because I always read Jorge's blog.(As you should too.)

Anyway, after getting that epic award, which I want so badly I could slap someone, Hurley and his mom talk about how, sure, Hurley is all in his 30's or whatever but he doesn't have a special lady friend. And sure, the show leads us to believe that someone large and in charge like Hurley can't find love. I dispute this, because he is the kind of guy I would fall in love with crazy like, and I know I'm not alone there. Sure, he's husky, but he's also sweet, handsome, funny, and all around awesome. So, sure, Lost, lead on with the stereotype that the fatties of the world can't find love. But if that were true, this girl would have never found it either. And I'm nowhere near the catch Hurley is.

Wow, that turned into a rant.
ANYWAY!
Mother Hurley is all about getting her son some, so she sets up a blind date that he reluctantly agrees to. We join him at a super cheesy and yet totally awesome Mexican joint, waiting for his blind date, but she doesn't show up. Who does, however, is Libby! YAY! I've missed her and her crazy eyes. She knows his name, and asks him if he believes in true love and soul mates and all that jazz. She tells him she knows him, wants to know if he knows her, and before he can do much, she's pulled away by The Doctor Man from the Crazy House that Hurley and Libby were once in together. When Hurley chases them out of the restaurant, he sees her in a bus for The Crazy House, and watches her drive away. His mom is going to love this.

Depressed, and needing Chicken...as you do...Hurley goes to one of his Mr. Cluck's where he gets a giant bucket of chicken and goes to town on that bad boy. It's...hilarious and sad. Also, again, it's a total stereotype, but Lord knows there have been days I wish I could drown my sorrow in a large bucket of KFC with a side of dark chocolate dipping sauce. He is aware that someone is watching him, and yells at said person...who turns out to be Des. At least it wasn't Jack, Hurley, I'm just saying.

Des starts up a conversation about being on the same flight and this and that, before nicely bringing up Hurley's girl trouble and telling him to, more or less, believe it because it's not all that crazy. Sure, so she remembers you from a life that never was, but other than that, how bad can she be? She may be a bit nutty, but at least she's no Courtney Love, Tila Tiquilla, or Kate.

Inspired by Desmond's awesomeness, Hurley goes to the Santa Rosa Crazy Town for Crazies, where he bribes the head doctor to let him see Libby. While sitting around the rec room, Hurley and Libby meet up and chat about...oh...crazy stuff. She saw one of his ads for the chicken place and all of a sudden, all these memories that never were came popping into her head. So she checked herself in to Crazy McCrazyville, where she felt even more connected to Hurley. Hurley, charmingly, is totally cool with all of this, and asks her on a date. It's. Precious.

On their date, which is a picnic...on the beach...and my heart is breaking...Libby brings up how strange this feels. Way to rub salt in our wound, Lost. But still, they connect, and they kiss, and when they do, Hurley remembers her from Craphole Island too. Knowing that they are not crazy, and that it is true love, both smile happily and I melt a little. Des, meanwhile, leers on creepily from his car. Way to be kind of a skeeze, Des honey.

On The Island:
Where we will jump on over for a while, and for my favorite thing to happen on this show in a long time.

Hurley is visiting Libby's grave, talking to her sweetly, asking why she never comes to visit him. Instead, he's visited by Ilana *snicker*, who is off to The Black Rock to get some TNT for the whole, 'blowing up the plane' bit they are still stuck on. She asks about Libby, and Hurley tells her she was murdered, and Ilana leaves.

Then, and this was the part I wasn't looking forward to, Michael appears. UGH. Michael, you douche. He tells Hurley that he can't blow up the plane, blahblahblah, WAAAAALLLLLLLTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!, and seriously, if the plane blows up a lot of people are going to die. I was going to be super pissed if we were going to be stuck with Michael tagging along with Hurley the whole time, but he didn't, and I say, thank Jesus.

Ilana comes back with 4 pieces of TNT in her bag, and wants to get a head start on that plane blowing upping. Hurley is trying to talk them out of it, but Ilana won't hear it, storming around the camp, getting ready while everyone else watches on. She talks about how she was meant to protect them and it's her job to take care of them, and she bitterly tosses some water bottles into the same bag as the sticks of dynamite are in. Finally, at her wits in, she slams down her bag and

ILANA BLOWS UP. BOOM. GONE. BYE. SHE DONE BLEW HER ASS UP.

And this was me when it happened, first:

And then this:

I'm not going to lie, I was shocked and then rolling with laughter. It. Was. EPIC. Totally a Lost way to go out. She was getting useless, done with her story line, and so she pulled an Artz. I. Loved. It. And the even better part? As everyone was pushed back by the force of the explosion and staring in horror, bits and pieces of Ilana were raining to the ground with a sickening plop.

Lost Gods? Can we PLEASE have that happen to Kate and Jack? And Not Tina Fey? PLEASE?! Cause I would love you forever.

So after the Explosion That Was Ilana, Richard is still all antsy in his panties about getting more dynamite to make the plane go bye-bye. He won't listen to Hurley who is talking crazy sense. Hurley then finds a small bag of something, and before we are told what, the gang heads out for The Black Rock.

On the way there, Hurley somehow manages to get into the boat before the rest of them. So while Richard is telling them all that he's the only one who is allowed to play with the boom boom sticks, Hurley is inside, setting the place up to blow. Jack asks where Hurley is, and Hurley replies by running out of The Black Rock, epic style, seconds before it pulls an Ilana and EXPLODES.

Oh Lost. Never change.

Richard is super epic pissed, and asks Hurley why he did that. I think part of Richard is just upset about his old home blowing to bits. Anyway, Hurley tells them that they can't blow up the plane, people will die, and Jacob is telling him this all right now. Richard tries to be tricky, and wants to know, from Hurley, what Jacob says The Island is. Hurley, having a real pair of low hangers, bluffs his way out of it all awesome like. So, Richard calls BS, throws a bit of a hissy, and the two groups split up. Richard, Ben and Miles (And my pants) go off to destroy the plane, while Hurley, Jack, Sun, and Frank go off to talk to Flocke.

On the way to Flocke's camp, Hurley quietly talks to Jack about how he's unsure of what he's doing, and he's worried he'll get his friends killed, and why isn't Jack making decisions? Jack tells Hurley that after Juliet's death, which he blames himself for (AND HE SHOULD, DAMNIT!), he needs to make it right and blahblahblah he trusts Hurley. This is for you, Jack.

Ass.

Anyway, while in the trees, and as Sun and Frank worry they've made a huge mistake, they are put on edge because they hear The Whispers. Hurley has a feeling that he knows what this is, and goes off, to find...Michael. Ugh.

Michael tells Hurley...something. I forget, let me pop over to Television Without Pity to remember....Oh, ok, so Michael tells Hurley that The Whispers are the ghost of people stuck on The Island still. I bet that place is haunted like a mother trucker. And I'd LOVE to see the Ghost Adventure douche bags on it, trying to investigate. "DUDE! DUDE! Did you hear that dude? I just saw a smoke monster, dude! Dude! Dude! Did you hear that dude!? Shhh!!"

Hurley confides that he's scared and doesn't know where Flocke's camp is, and Michael pulls a, "Oh, it's just over there. *point*". Before they take their leave of each other, Michael tells Hurley that if ever sees Libby, to tell her he's sorry for, you know, killing her and what not. I love the idea of Michael being stuck on The Island. It pleases me.

Once they get to Flocke's Flock, Hurley comes out of the trees first to tell Flocke that he doesn't want anyone to get hurt, and asks Flocke to shake on this truce. Flocke happily agrees, handing over his knife in a sign of good faith. Then Sun, Frank, and Jack come out of the trees, where everyone looks at each other, Kate is leering stupidly at Jack, the Cow. Jack is staring at Flocke, because he just done crapped his pants.

Earlier in the day on The Island:
Flocke and his merry band of useless people are waiting around, as Sawyer and Kate are all antsy for some action in terms of Widmore and stuff. They want to know what the wait is, and Flocke tells them it's because they are waiting for Jack and the rest to join them.

Zombie Sayid comes back for brrrraaaaaiiiinnnnssss, and takes Flocke to see Desmond, who is tied to a tree. Hee, sorry about that. We got a little carried away with the role play last night. Hee. ... WHAT?! Flocke and Des have a talk about why he's here, what Widmore wants with him, and so on. Des is ever the cool cucumber, and answers the questions, and Flocke unties him. Damnit, Flocke! You're letting him go! I wasn't finished! ... What?

So Des and Flocke talk a walk, and on the way they see another one of those creepy ass Island spirit kids or whatever. UGH. Only this one had brown hair instead of blond, and looked different. Flocke pooped himself with fear, and Des is all like, "Oh, look a kid."

Flocke takes Des to a Well, where he explains that the well was very old, dug by hand, and by people who were searching for answers. Much like Widmore. Des is acting all calm and the like, which seems to piss Flocke off. So what does Flocke do? He pushes Des into the well!

Me in that moment:

Back in LAX Land:
Des is lurking outside a High School in his car when Ben knocks on his window, asking the very sane question "What up with that?" By the by, Teacher Ben is looking FINE! Des pulls out some lies about how he's there to check out the school for his son, Charlie (I die a little bit inside), and Ben is unconvinced, but lets Des go.

So Des, who has been watching Locke this whole time cross the parking lot in his wheel chair, screams off and HITS LOCKE WITH HIS CAR BEFORE DRIVING OFF. That'll teach you to push Desmond down a well, bitch.

DUN! LOST.

Thoughts and Theories:
So...I loved every second of this episode. Especially this:

Because, seriously, that is just hilarious and epic. I could watch this all day.

I love Hurley coming into his own and being strong and assertive. Good for you, buddy.

I'm also curious about how, now that everyone is in Flocke's Flock, what's to come. I'm sure it's not going to be that easy, and at least one of them...I'm thinking Jack...is going to eff it up something royal for Flocke.

Next week's preview was AWESOME. Holy crapping balls, the whole thing with the creepy Willy Wonka voice over? FTW. Also, at first I thought it was Ben speaking the lines, but then I realized that it was Gene Wilder. They sound strangely alike. Of course, next week's episode hints at possible Des Death, in which case, I will have to blow up a Bitch. Ilana style.

Ben finally changed his shirt! And is looking goood in pale blue. Also, he was walking like he was a bit chafed. ... What?

I'm totally down for the Richard and Ben Adventure, I'm just really curious about what they are up to.

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of any.

Run of the Night:
It's a total toss up between Hurley, who is lovable, hugable, and awesome, and Ilana, because her death was seriously my favorite thing ever. And Teacher Ben, cause he was looking gooooood.

Lines!
✈"You need a woman in your life. Especially one who did not nurse you." Hurley's mom.
"That's disgusting." Hurley. I'm totally saying that to my son.
✈"What if Richard is wrong?" Hurley, moments before Ilana blows up. HA.
✈"Maybe she died to remind us to stay the hell away from dynamite." Jack, that's the first useful thing you've said in over 3 years.
✈"Well, all women are a little crazy, brothah." Thanks, Des.
✈"Why the hell'd you do that?!" Richard, as The Black Rock crumbles in fire.
"I'm protecting us!" Oh Hurley.
✈"A warning might have been nice there, Hugo." Miles, being kinda bitchy.
"I did say 'run'." Fair play, Hugo.
✈"How do you break the ice with a smoke monster?" Hurley. The same way everyone does, with a good, dirty, Michael Jackson joke.
✈"Son of a bitch." Thanks for that, Sawyer.
✈"What is your son's name?" Teacher Ben.
"Charlie." Des, you're breaking my heart!!!

Text of the Night:
From Bryan, after seeing Michael. "UGH."
Yep.

Pictures courtesy:
The VideoGum Lost Recap (There are so many hilarious pictures on this recap and in the comments that you just must go look at them.)
Rupaul's Drag Race Gif Wall
ONTD Comments
And even though I got no pictures from it, it's always a good read. Best Week Ever's Lost Recap

Well friends, I hope you enjoyed it. Because I had a blast writing it. Tell me, what did you think when Ilana went boom, Des went splash, and Locke went splat?

See ya all here next week!
♥♥♥♥
Mags
Don't go and blow yourself up, now. Heeee.

Joy On A Weird Day

2010-04-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

It's been a strange day. Silly, random, angering, long, totally uncalled for, funny, and really rather beautiful (weather wise), I think I need to share this with the world.

Thanks to my good Twitter friend Megan for sending it my way this morning. I've needed it. It cracks me up, and makes me happy. He makes rainbows! He has a cape!

He's so happy!

Much love, you silly people. Have a good weekend.
♥ Mags

Lost Thougts: Happily Ever After

2010-04-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

UGH.
It’s not that it wasn’t a pretty incredible episode. It not that I don’t LOVE Penny and Desmond. It’s not that I wasn’t blown away by where it might lead to….

I just…don’t care. Maybe I just don’t want to write a recap, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not feeling my usual witty self and when I watched the episode, I had a SCREAMING headache and a bit of a sugar high from eating one too many freezer pops.

I’ll give this a shot, but there’s no telling how long/how many revisions it’s going to take me to get there.

Also, ABC, thanks for not ruining a great episode with that stupid ‘effing V Countdown Clock.

Join me after the jump for all your favorite Lost characters who are no longer on the show and yet still break your heart!

Oh, Desmond. Oh Penny. Oh Charlie. Oh Claire. Oh Lost…how intent were you in making me sob last night? Because you were breaking my heart right and left.

On The Island:
We have to start here because what Widmore does to Des is what leads us back to LAX Land. So Des wakes up in a bed, on Hydra, with Not Tina Fey looming over our beloved Scott. Bitch. Back. OFF. And if I was Des, I’d be PISSED to wake up to that not so pretty face. (WOW. I really hate Not Tina Fey.) Anyway, he wants to know where he is/where his wife and son are *sobs* and why this suddenly doesn’t look like a hospital in LA. (Remember, he was shot by Ben when Ben was trying to get the courage to kill Penny in an eye for an eye type thing.) So Widmore comes along, tells Des he’s back on The Island, and that Des is needed for something special. Des takes this news as well as anyone, and promptly beats the crap out of Widmore with an IV stand. It’s. AWESOME.

So Widmore tells Not Tina Fey to prepare The Test, but Not Tina Fey is all huffy about it not being ready. Blahblahblah. She goes with Jin to check on said The Test and pass what I instantly said was the Velociraptor Cage from the beginning of Jurassic Park. I’m apparently not alone in that thinking.

(From the ever hilarious Best Week Ever Recaps.)

So they end up in a room with a bunch of buttons, levers, and nerds rushing around, setting things up. It needs to be tested first, but instead of doing it on the adorable bunry in the cage (Ben would be outraged! Outraged I tell you!), it’s done on some poor, unsuspecting Red Shirt who just happens to be in the Velociraptor Cage tending to one of the two giant golden doughnuts in there. (Mmmm…doughnuts….)

What the Velociraptor Cage is, is a wooden box with two giant gold wire discs on either side, and when activated, it lights up all crazy like Dr. Manhattan’s victims before they explode…and then it explodes said person in the box. Or, melts them is a more accurate description. Well…maybe not so much as melts, but does to them what putting an un-ventilated hot dog in your microwave for 4 minutes does.

So, after it being accidently tested, and despite Des’ and Jin’s protests, Widmore has Des tied up, tossed in the Velociraptor cage, tells Jin that Des is a special snowflake, and throws the switch. The wires heat up, the screen goes all blurry, and Des is taken away to…

LAX Land, where he’s starting at his reflection after getting off Oceanic 815. Hurley passes him and tells him that their baggage is on carousel 4, and Des snaps out of it, going off to get his luggage. He helps a very pregnant and not yet useless-by-association-with-Kate Clare get her bags. They banter about what the baby is, and Desmond tells her that he thinks it’s a boy. It’s a sweet moment, and after seeing a handsome, happy, charming Des interact with Claire and Hurley…it breaks my heart.

Des goes to find his car and driver waiting for him, and the driver is none other than Fisher Stevens, who played a doctor in the 4th season who’s head was imploding thanks to the time altering constant thing….he’s back, it’s Fisher Stevens, and he’s Des’ driver. ALSO. Fisher Steven’s has an Oscar. I’m not kidding about this. Know that documentary that won this year about the dolphins being killed in Japan? Fisher Stevens won an Oscar because of that. And it’s a good thing too, cause that cat was never going to win one for his acting. (BURN!) Anyway, Fisher Stevens: Oscar Winner takes Des to the car, and offers to hook him up with some ho’s, if Des is so inclined. He’s not, he just wants to go to his office.

So at the office, he goes into see The Big Boss, and we all know it’s going to be Widmore and yet when it’s reveled to be Widmore it’s a big shock like “WHAAAAA!?” What is a big shock is the fact that Widmore adores Des, who is his right hand man. They banter about Sydney and blahblahblah, all I can see is the painting in the background of a scale. On the scale is something white, and something dark. I would give anything to get a closer look at that damn painting! It would be awesome! Anyway, Widmore wants Des to go fish a Rock Star out of jail, so that he can perform with his band, Driveshaft, at a concert put on by Widmore’s classical music playing son. Des is down with this, as am I because it means more Charlie/Des goodness. Des and Widmore share a glass of the Scotch that was once too good for ol’ Des, before he departs to go pick up one master Charles Pace.

At the Police Station, Charlie is being a total douche…and my heart breaks again from knowing that lovely, soft, fun Charlie isn’t around anymore, and instead of getting in Des’ car with him, he just walks through traffic to the bar across the street. Also, he totally jay-walks in front of like a thousand cops. No one cares. Inside the bar, he downs his whiskey, and tells Des, who followed him, about what happened to him on the plane. How he thought that Kate’s cop pal knew he had drugs on him, so he went to the bathroom to get rid of it. Turbulence hit, the bag got stuck in his throat, and Charlie started to die. In his state of bliss and dying, he felt love for the first time. He saw a blond woman, beyond beautiful, and Charlie knew that he loved her, and would be with her forever. Excuse me, but now I’m really crying. Damn you, Lost!

Enveloped by that love felt for this blond woman…Claire…he was ready and willing to slip away peacefully…until some stupid, useless idiot brought him back to life. HA! I hate Jack too, Chuck. Charlie was so moved by that real experience of Love, that he can think of little else. And Des, who has not felt love yet (GASP! PENNY!), doesn’t really get it. So he gets Charlie in the car, and as they are driving, Des is forced to listen to Driveshaft. Charlie keeps rambling on about love and his amazing epiphany, and then goes a weeeee bit crazy. While they are driving along a marina…I’m assuming the same one that Des got shot at…Charlie grabs the wheel and steers the car into the water. Bad Charlie.

Des gets out of the car, but can’t get Charlie out, so he swims up to the top, takes a huge breath, and goes back under. This time, around the other side of the car, he’s trying to get the door open while Charlie sits patiently inside, waiting for God or Claire or something to happen. He then turns and puts his hand to the window, which reminds us, and gives Des a flash, of Charlie in the Dharma Station, about to drown, with “Not Penny’s Boat” written on his hand. Des sees this vision, is freaked out, and comes back to earth, before finally getting Charlie out of the car and to the surface.

Our boys are taken to the hospital, where Des is checked out by a Doctor that is not Jack. This is probably why Des survives the episode. Anyway, she’s worried about Des’ head so he’s taken in for an MRI. Once in the machine, he starts having images of Penny and his life together from the other world. It’s…precious and heart breaking. I swear, Penny has the most beautiful smile and is so stunningly radiant…And I’m crying again. Des hits the panic button, stops the MRI, and needs to run off to find Charlie. Along the way, he runs into Jack…is there only one hospital in LA? Or Jack everywhere like Mr. Smith from The Matrix? Except useless. And not as hot. (GOD, Hugo Weaving is SO HOT. He could Elrond me any day!) …. What?

Jack remembers Des from the plane, and Des is trying to get information about where Charlie is…but he doesn’t need to because Charlie is running down the hallway, in his hospital gown, being chased by nurses. Also, the way he’s running in the gown, it all bunches up around his…Little Meriadoc Brandybuck, if you know what I mean, and it’s all I can see. Oh, Domsy. Em would totally call you out for stuffing.

Des gives chase, finally reaching our little hobbit at the bottom of some stairs. Des wants to know who Penny is, and Charlie is all about Des going off and finding this love. And bugger off, he’s not doing the concert for Young Master Widmore. Then he runs away like a Nasgul was chasing him or something. Des is forced to go back to Widmore and explain that Charlie took off for Rohan. Widmore is understandably pissed, because he thinks his wife is going to poop a brick at the thought that her special night for her special boy might be ruined. Des has to go to Mother Widmore to tell her that Driveshaft can’t play due to Charlie’s douchiness.

And Mother Widmore is none other than Eloise! And her hair is looking SCARY. Also she yells at people about how knives are supposed to be placed. Ugh, she’s one of those types of bitches. Anyway, she doesn’t care that Charlie isn’t going to be there and thus Driveshaft can’t suck up her son’s show. She seems pleased to meet Des, but just like every other time we’ve seen older Eloise, there is something in her eyes that gives away that this woman knows a hell of a lot more than she’s letting on. So Des takes his leave, but overhears someone talking about a ‘Penny Milton’, who is coming to the show. When Des tries to get a closer look at the name off the guest list, and the people with the guest list get all butt hurt, it’s Eloise who comes along. To tell Des that he shouldn’t be paying attention to all of this. Because, apparently, he’s not ready for it, and sticking his nose into things where it doesn’t belong. See? This woman knows more than she’s telling us.

She knows why Kate Gosslin is famous! (At least, she has to, because no one else can tell me why that psycho mom with a terrible haircut/life choices is out there hocking her kids for sale in the Penny Saver or whatever the hell she’s up to these days.)

So Des, shaken and a little stirred, takes his leave to his car...where Fisher Stevens: Oscar Winner is driving him around again. Good thinking, as this way no drug addicted Hobbits can send you into any lakes again. Des pours himself a drink when someone knocks on his window. Who could it be? DUNT DUNT DUN! It’s Daniel ~~Faraday~~ Widmore. Like we weren’t really expecting that one. Anyway, Dan, in his freaky way, tells Des they need to talk, and talk they do! Dan, who is a musician who wears stupid hats, skinny ties, and still doesn’t like to cut his hair, tells Des that he saw a red headed woman not too long ago, and knew instantly that he loved her. Awww, Daniel still loves Charlotte. Hope she doesn’t compare Dan to Sawyer in bed…cause we all know who would win that one.

Anyway, after seeing this red headed beauty, he later woke up in the middle of the night and scribbled down some sort of advanced physics equation. When I wake up in the middle of the night and scribble something down, only to look at it the next day, it reads something like, “Storidea: Don goes (illegible handwriting) w/Indus to (illegible handwriting, word that looks like ‘squirrel’), & finds something letter from Gwin (more illegible handwriting) duck cracker.” So, you know, obviously Daniel is smarter than me. Anyway, he’s told by a friend that the physics scribbles are so advanced that only people who have been studying it for their whole lives would understand/think/write such things, especially in the middle of the night! Daniel being a musician, he doesn’t know his physics from his barbers. (Seriously, cut your damn hair!)

So Daniel, being smart and stuff, has a feeling that they have all lived another life…a different life…and that this world, LAX Land, is half a bubble off. And that love will save them. If they set of a friggin’ H-Bomb or something. Honestly, he brought up the bomb and I got so angry at how stupid that whole plot line was, I kinda missed what else was said. I think Des asked if they were to set off an H-Bomb, and Dan told him that he thinks he already did. And love will save them. Harry Potter style.

Daniel than tells Des that he knows Des is looking for Penny, his half sister, and Daniel knows exactly where she will be (Because he lo-jacked her). Later that night, Des goes to the same stadium where he met Jack that one useless time, and sure enough, Penny is running up and down steps. Des asks her if she is Penny, and she smiles and says yes, and we all fall in love not only with Penny, but with Penny and Des together, all over again. I swear, she is such a beautiful woman. Her smile is so stunning, I blame no man or woman from melting at it. They introduce themselves, and shake hands…the moment they touch…

Des is transported right back to The Island. He wakes up after the test has stopped, having only been out for a few moments. Widmore is all happy and excited that the test works, and that Des is indeed special. He once again asks Des for help, and Des is all, “Yeah, sure. Right, let’s do it.”

Leading Des back to wherever, the small group is attacked by Sayid, who takes out the male guards but allows Not Tina Fey to run away. NO! BAD SAYID! USELESS SAYID! You should have shot her! Why didn’t you rid us of her stupid not Tina Fey face?! BOOOOOO. Sayid tells Des that Widmore and his men are dangerous, and that Des should go with him. Des is all, “Yeah, sure. Right, let’s do it.”

Back in LAX Land, Des wakes up at Penny’s feet…he fainted the moment she touched him. AWWW! That’s so precious I want to cry. Des laughs it off, and asks her on a date, then and there. She says sure, and they arrange to meet at a coffee shop in an hour. Des leaves her to get tarted up a bit, and goes back to Fisher Stevens: Oscar Winner and the car. He tells Fisher Stevens to go to the coffee shop, and then asks that Fisher Stevens gets the passenger manifest for Oceanic 815. He needs to hunt down the other people on the plane, because he needs to tell them something.

DUN. Lost.

Thoughts/Theories:
Honestly…I don’t even know where to start. It was an amazing episode. Really very fantastic. I loved how it followed Des in LAX Land for most of the time, and seeing him and Penny together melted my heart.

I don’t really think that Penny Milton is Penny as we know her. Because why would she be on the guest list and then not go? Of course, she could be on the list, and just not go. I don’t know.

I love Charlie/Des together again. Dominic Monaghan works best when paired with a Scottish actor…and while Des does a great job at it, if it were Billy Boyd and Dom together again, this recap would have been replaced with obscure inside jokes and lots of “SQUEEEEE!”. So…maybe it’s best it’s not Billy. Not yet, at least.

If The Island is underwater in LAX Land because Jack uselessly blew it up, than how did Charles and pregnant with Dan Eloise get off before the H-Bomb went? I can kinda see why Ben and his dad would have gotten off and into the sub, but how the hell did the Widmore’s do it? Are we just supposed to believe that they never were on The Island? Obviously they were, otherwise Eloise wouldn’t have such crazy, knowing eyes. Right? Am I the only one who thought of this?

So Des is going to try and convince everyone on 815 that they are not supposed to be here today? Using soul mates? And love? Huh? Better shake ass, Des, because you have 7 hours left to do it.

Next week, being a Hurley episode, might break the streak of this season’s “One episode ROCKS, the next one SUCKS” thing they got going. If they make a Hurley episode suck, I’m going to be epic pissed.

Run of the Night:
Penny. Because I love her.

Lines!
✈“I brought you back to The Island.” Thanks, Widmore. Now here’s an IV stand to the head.
✈“This sodding idiot…” Charlie, describing being brought back from love, Claire, and death, only to see Jack. I’d be way pissed too.
✈“Ugh…Michael? Boo.” Steve and I, seeing Michael in the tease for next week’s episode.
I didn’t write too many lines down, as I was too busy with a splitting headache and trying to pay attention to what was going on.

Tune in next week for more adventures of “Lost screws over its loyal fans in the final season!”
Ta,
♥♥♥♥ Mags

♥ Liz ♥

2010-04-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Rose Von Heiland, or Liz as I knew and loved her, was my Hero.

When she smiled, her eyes disappeared into thin triangle like an anime character.

We danced in her pool, made truffles, and got hit on by guys with heated swimming pools and killer cheeseburgers.

We laughed, a lot.

We met because of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and going to see them at the House of Blues in Anaheim doesn’t feel right without her being there.

She once talked me into cutting her hair, just because she was bored.

I loved her, with all my heart.

I want to name a daughter after her, and I will.

I look at her picture every day, wear a necklace she gave me often, and still sit and cry when I could use a hug from her more than anything, but can’t feel it.

I hope she sat my child down in heaven and told her all about her silly mommy. The same way my Grandma Maggi sat me down before I was conceived and told me things about my parents and her that I otherwise wouldn’t have known.

I hope my precious Liz is the Guardian Angel to my kids. I’m going to tell them she is.

We once rolled down grassy hills, chased each other in parks, wrestled, laughed, hugged, danced, and loved each other fiercely.

Three years after losing her, I still miss her every day. It has gotten easier, mostly, but I will never stop thinking about her, talking to her, and seeing little things she gave me pop up here and there. The dancing Lizard, her crimping iron, candles, photo boards, bracelets, picture frames, paintings, t-shits, and a whole host of other little items that come out of nowhere, just to make me smile. Hi Liz, my darling, I miss you too.

Three years after she passed away, I love her more than I could imagine, and I always will.

Today I remember my friend, and mourn her, and hope to see her again in dreams real soon.

Hug someone dear today, friends. For me. For Liz.
♥♥♥♥♥♥

Things About Nack: Part 2

2010-04-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon, sweet friends.

It has been a while since I have done some sort of post about my wee little one, growing up in the womb.

That sounded terrible.

I warn you ahead of time, I have a splitting headache that I’ve had since work and my brain is somehow…gone off the deep end, so to speak.

Anyway!

✿ I can feel her move. It’s amazing and I love it. Last Monday, I was just about to leave work when all of a sudden I felt this little push on the inside of my belly! It was one of those, “Hurm?” moments. But then it happened again, and it was amazing. It still is amazing. Sometimes she goes nuts and starts moving and kicking and I assume doing womb gymnastics. Other times she is quiet and calm, and I can barely feel her moving about in there. I still absolutely love it, because it makes everything so much more real. When you can’t feel anything and it’s another three weeks until you see your doctor/hear a heart beat again, it can seem surreal and is easy to imagine it was all just a dream. When you can feel the baby swing dancing across your uterus, it’s…just incredible.

✿ The morning sickness has gone away, finally. Although from time to time I still get nauseous. And I totally threw up at my friend Jayme’s house, which was awesome. I adore her family and they were so nice to me about it! Gave me a sleeve of saltines and some water and told me it was all something that would go away soon.And it has! Yay!

✿ Speaking of The Powell’s, Jayme’s mom, Jill, gave me a huge bag of second hand baby clothes for my little daughter. And what a treasure trove of stuff was in there! Goodness gracious, Natalie has clothes from newborn to two! It’s a totally amazing starter wardrobe, and I couldn’t be more thankful to Jill for it all. It was so much fun, but so bizarre, to go through each piece with Steve. Like, suddenly it sunk in that we are having a daughter while looking at adorable little dresses.

✿ Flower shaped buttons are the most impossible things to get in and out of the button hole. Especially if it’s on a tiny sweater for a 9 month old. Adorable? Yes, beyond comprehension. Totally infuriating? Oh, you bet your bum.

✿ My friends are amazing. Dana took me out, got me lemonade, and soup, and little dresses, and made that Saturday so much fun. Jessie helped me put a baby shirt on McLovin’, who was not at all pleased, and then clipped his nails for us. My Twitter friends, blogger friends, facebook friends, and everyone else has been so kind and supportive that it hurts. I totally love you all!

✿ Planning the baby shower is giving me a mild panic attack every time I think about it. I just want to give an invite list to someone, tell them to go wild, and not worry about it until July 17th. Any takers? I’m talking total control…except for the theme, who’s invited, and the cake. Seriously, I don’t wanna.

✿ My breasts are massive. And they point like this ( ^ ) Y ( . ) Give yourself a minute to let that sink in, and I’ll give you another minute to stop laughing/throwing up. I had big knockers to begin with, but I have had the hardest time with them getting bigger and bigger! I might need to readjust the bra/bra extenders I have on now, because Girl, I seriously am having a hard time moving today. Seriously, I’m going to be past double d’s by the time she comes out.

✿ We watched Away We Go the other night, and it was very, very strange to watch as two young adults, having their first kid, a girl no less, and feeling that strange sense of being lost in the world at times. It really is a beautiful, poignant film, and I recommend it highly.

✿ The food cravings are off the charts! But at least the ones I want all the time…Chicken McNuggets, fish tacos, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, aren’t easily obtainable. Even more lucky, the ones that I get the most…Otter Pops and other Freezer Pops…are super cheep. We got a box of 100 for $2.48 the other day. I foresee it lasting me…oh…a week.

✿ I don’t miss caffeine, but I never drank it too much and I honestly haven’t given it up entirely. Still, I’ve cut way down, and it’s nothing I miss. (Except for Thai Iced Tea. I want come. NOW.) I don’t miss soda, which has become too sweet and gross to my taste buds. I do miss beer, though, really badly sometimes. Steve will be sitting there, having a beautiful homemade pale ale next to me, and the smell…I didn’t even drink beer all that much before the baby came a-knockin’, but now…man…Let me just put it this way. There are crappy days when I come home and have like 7 Otter Pops because it’s my fake alcohol of choice. And my first meal after the baby is out, is going to be sushi and beer. And it’s going to be awesome.

That last one sounded like I’m a crazy booze hound, dying for my next taste of the hooch. … Ok.

✿ I really wish I had that magical cupboard that knows exactly what I want to eat, and has it for me when I open it. Baja Chalupa with a side of 9 Tostadas from Taco bell? There at 6 AM when I want it. Fried Chicken and waffles at 4 when I get home? There. An entire Thanksgiving dinner just waiting for me at lunch? YES. 11 o’clock at night and I want Indian food? Guess what, that magical cupboard would totally have it. Who do I need to talk to about getting one of those made?

✿ My husband is going to be an amazing father, and he's been so awesomely sweet, silly, kind, and wonderful about all this. He totally can't wait to meet our daughter. He gets me whatever I want, he listens to my crazy, he supports me, gives me back rubs, and it just all around awesome. I love him so much. I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else.

There’s still so more, and I could go on, but I’m tired and so…I’m going to go. But rest assured I’m happy, the baby is coming along just fine, and Steve and I are just so excited. In 3 weeks he’s going to start reading our daughter The Hobbit while she’s in the womb. It’s the final push over the edge into nerdom, and she hasn’t even been born. Awesome.

Loves ya!
♥♥♥♥ Mags

Oh, and we registered at Target...in case anyone is so inclined. ... Writing that made me really uncomfortable. Never mind.

Any questions for a slightly crazed pregnant woman? Leave ‘um below!

Lost Thoughts: The Package

2010-04-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

Lost continues its streak this season of one episode being AMAZING! And the next one being…eh…?

Oh, ABC. Way to make an all right episode of Lost TOTALLY ANNOYING because of your stupid V counter in the corner. We Lost fan’s really appreciated that, while trying to watch Jin and sun do their thing, some massive red V in the corner with a ticking countdown. Let me save you the hassle of trying, V is going to get canceled sooner or later. Stop trying.

Update: You’re going to keep showing the V Countdown Clock? Really ABC? REALLY? Ok, with the exception of Modern Family and Castle, after Lost ends we’re breaking up. Is there a Lost Countdown during Dancing with the Stars? NO. OMG this is so very, very stupid of you, ABC. You can officially suck it.

Join me after the jump for some Jun and Sin! … Wait …

Oh, Sun and Jin.

In LAX Land, Sun waits patiently while Jin works out his Customs issues, and in the end they give him the watch but keep the money. The Customs Agents say they are going to give it over to the Government, but we all know this means STRIPPER PARTY AFTER WORK! WOOOO!

They get to a hotel where they check into separate rooms, because they aren’t married! Dunt dunt dun! Thanks, Lost, for this somewhat surprising but also kinda lame Flash Sideways revaluation. You could have done better. Jin is supposed to go to a Restaurant to drop off the money and the watch, but he’s already missed his appointment time. So at 11:30 at night, he swings by Sun’s room to tell her that he’s going now, and she convinces him that he shouldn’t. She does this with the cunning use of her boobs.

Thanks, Lord, for boobs. They allow us women to have such power over men. It’s fun, we like it.

Anyway, Sun and Jin do the nasty, and the next morning while cuddling, they talk about running away from Sun’s crazy dad and how they could so easily do it, as she has money stashed away. She also tells him that she has news, but this is interrupted by a knock at the door. Who could it be!? Why, it’s Keamy! Yes, Lost, WE KNOW already. So Keamy with his stupid face forces his way in, and he wants the watch and the money, and he wants it now. They find Jin hiding in the bathroom, and since neither Jin nor Sun speak English, they get a translator…none other than our old friend Mikhail.

Let me tell you, friends, Mikhail is looking fine with both eyes and none of that scruffy hair/beard. Some people are saying he looks/might be younger…it’s totally because he doesn’t look like a deranged jungle hobo. That can make a man look ten years older, people. Not everyone is blessed like Richard. His character isn’t younger, he’s just handsome, because he isn’t living in a cardboard box out in the jungle, asking Smokey for spare change. Anyway, Mikhail is all smoking hot and sexy and speaking Korean and Keamy demands his 25 Grand. Ugh, Keamy, I hate you.

So Keamy takes Jin to his eatery…I imagine it’s a Barcelona themed Spanish Tapas restaurant…and they tie Jin up in the walk in, and Keamy tells Jin, in English, that the 25 Large was to kill Jin for sleeping with Sun, as Sun’s crazy daddy wasn’t too keen on it. I don’t know how any of this is supposed to make us worry for Jin because we already know Sayid is going to go all Sayid on Keamy’s ass. Anyway, Sayid, of course, kills some bitches and when he opens the walk in where Jin Is pounding on the door, he stares at Jin with those lifeless eyes he has on The Island, gives Jin means to cut out of his bonds, and bails. Thanks, Useless.

Meanwhile, Sun is with Mikhail, and I imagine they talk about food the whole time (Can you tell I’m starving?!), and go to the bank to get money out of her own account to give to Keamy. Well, turns out that Crazy Daddy found out about the account, transferred all the money out of it, leaving Sun with nothing. What a nice dad. So Mikhail takes Sun back to the Café Del Barcelona where he finds the aftermath of Sayid’s Sayidness. And, in true Keamy fashion, he’s STILL ALIVE. Remember it took Smokey and Ben like 9 times to kill him? Well, Jin comes along, grabs a gun, wrestles with Mikhail, I assume Keamy still isn’t dead, there are some shots fired, including one that takes out Mikhail’s eye….heeeee….and of course, Sun is hit. In the gut. And she’s pregnant. OF COURSE. So Jin scoops her up and runs off with her.

5 will get you 10 that the hospital she goes to is the same one Jack works at. Also Boone will be there, for no real reason other than to look pretty. And Bernard will be there as well, because what the hell, let’s just see who’s on set that day.

On The Island.
Flocke and his merry band of misfits camp out for a few days, and he is going to run an errand, but not before talking to Jin first about Sun and his plans and blahblahblah. Jin is clearly not buying it, but plays cool. Flocke leaves on his errand, and Jin is damn near ready to leave as well, to go find Sun. Oh, and there’s some talk between Sayid and Flocke about how Sayid feels nothing, at all, and someone looks like they’ve checked out early of the acting job. Flocke tells Sayid that it’s not a bad thing that he feel this way. So anyway, back to Jin and Sawyer, who are bickering about Jin wanting to leave, when everyone gets hit with darts and passes out and I cross my fingers that one dart with poisen in it gets Kate in the eye ball, and Not Tina Fey and her cronies come and drag Jin off.

I really hate Not Tina Fey. I don’t know if I would hate her character as much if I didn’t think it was Tina Fey every time I saw her, only to be totally disappointed that it’s not. Instead, I have to put up with Not Tina Fey, who is uglier, super annoying, and totally worthless. Seriously, bad casting choice, Lost.

Jin wakes up in Room 23, which Steve called the moment he saw it. You know Room 23, it’s the creepy as place where The Other’s were keeping Alex’s boyfriend, trying to brain wash him? Not Tina Fey comes in, Jin and her banter about blah blah blah, Jin wants to see her leader, so Widmore comes along with a camera filled with pictures of Sun and Jin’s daughter. Yeah, seeing Jin see his daughter for the first time was preeeeety heart wrenching, especially now. Steve had a hard time with it. Widmore tells Jin that he needs his help, because if Flocke gets off The Island, everyone they know and love will be destroyed. And somehow The Package (LOOK! EPISODE TITLE!) has something important to do with this.

Meanwhile:
Flocke goes on his mission, which is to get Sun to come with him. While our little band of silly Lostaways and Ben, discuss wither or not Richard is going to come back from his little hissy fit. Look, Sexy needs time to be Sexy, ya’ll! Ilana is sure he’ll come back, Ben seem to be messing with her just for fun, and Sun is all whahwahwah WHERE IS MY SON WALT! … I mean … WHERE IS MY HUSBAND WALT! … That’s not right either. So Sun goes sitting in her garden, bitchy as all bitchy get out, pulling up weeds. She and Jack talk about tomatoes or something…I don’t really remember, it’s Friday. Jack leaves, which would make any of my crappy days better, only to have Flocke come along and tempt Sun to the Dark Side. They have cookies.

Sun, though, is not a fan of cookies, and after Flocke’s speech, she makes a run for it. It’s…kinda hilarious. Flocke gives chase, although he should have just Smoke Monstered in there and taken her by whatever, and before we know it, Sun’s head makes contact with a tree. For added hilarity, they should have added a sound affect of a coconut hitting the ground. *thunk!*

Apparently, Flocke won’t take people against their will, cause he just leaves her there. A while later, Ben finds her, and is all concerned and adorable. Awwww, Benry, I just love you so much! Again, I just can’t get enough of Ben/Sun friendship. Cause they care for each other, you know it. So Ben finds her, and is asking her if she’s ok, and she can only speak Korean! But can understand English! PLOT TWIST!

Back at the beach, Jack plays doctor and checks her over, while Ilana is suspicious that Ben might have hurt Sun, which is kinda hilarious. I guess Sun hit her head in just the right spot because she can understand English but only speak Korean, which is a thing. Meanwhile, Frank and Miles talk about bacon or something, and Hurley and Richard come back to camp. Everyone is happy to see them, and Richard is all gung ho about going to Hyrda Island and destroying the plane over there. Sun, though, is pissed about this and yells at Richard in Korean that roughly translated to “WALLLLLLLLLLLT!”

So Sun huffs off and sits on the beach and mopes. Not to be outdone, the King of Mopes, Jack, comes along and tries to cheer her up by giving her a pen and paper to communicate with. So they talk, and Sun writes stuff to show him, EXCEPT WE CAN’T READ WHAT SHE WROTE BECAUSE THAT STUPID EFFING V COUNTDOWN CLOCK IS IN THE DAMN WAY! ABC! SUCK IT!!!!! Then Jack gives Sun a tomato. I…Yep.

Still meanwhile!
Sawyer is having a hard time working the angles on Flocke/Widmore/Kate, etc. Flocke comes back to find Jin gone, and it not so pleased with that. There is also some talk between him and Claire about why Kate is needed, if she is a candidate, and Flocke pretty much tells Claire that he needs Kate for a little while, but when he’s done with her, Claire can…kill a bitch. And there was much rejoicing in the Barnhart household. Flocke takes Sayid the Zombie over to Hydra, and once there, he is unable to cross the pylons that Widmore set up. But Flocke and Widmore still have a “No, MINE is bigger!” contest of words. There’s something about war coming, blah blah blah, Flocke’s is bigger but Widmore’s has more stuff behind it or something, blah blah blah, Flocke leaves, and I am kinda over writing this recap.

In the end, Not Tina Fey is dragging someone, The Package (EPISODE TITLE!) off the sub, with Sayid the wonder frog swimming in the water nearby, dead eyed. They drop The Package (EPISODE TITLE!) on the dock, and Sayid swims up to him, and the face that stares back, very, very confused, is Desmond.

DESMOND! NOOOOOO!!!! Widmore if you hurt one hair on my Des’ head I will hunt you down and there will be death.

Thoughts, Theories, Etc.
I don’t know, it’s Friday, I’ve been busy, I kinda don’t care. I mean, this episode didn’t suck the way that, say, Kate’s, Sayid’s, and Jack’s did, and I adore Sun and Jin, I just think it’s fascinating that this show can make me feel nothing about these characters. Sure, I hope LAX Land Sun is ok, and I want Island Sun to find Jin and get back to their daughter but at the same time…I just was bored. I was bored.

And sometimes the big reveals are just not that great.

Next week is Desmond’s episode, which we could tell by the bagpipes ABC used in the promo, and I’m hoping we’ll get to see come of Penny and Baby Charlie, but I swear if Des dies, there will be hell to pay. Because of all of them…of all of those poor people on that Island…Des deserves happiness and a life away from all this. He needs to be on his boat with Penny, Baby Charlie, and that’s all.

Run of the Night:
Uh…Sun hitting her head was pretty funny and Ben finding her was very sweet.

Lines!
✈“Anger, happiness, pain, I don’t feel it anymore.” You forgot acting on that list, Sayid.
✈“Unless Richard is covered in bacon grease, I don’t think he’ll (Hurley) be able to track him.” Miles, being mean.
“Oh, don’t talk about bacon.” Frank. HEEEE.
✈“Watch out for that tree!” Steve as Sun makes contact with the branch. *thunk!*
✈“No, cause that would be ridiculous.” Sawyer, to Flocke, about something.
✈“Don’t worry about it, you’re secret is safe with me.” Keamy…well…yeah. You’re going to die soon.
✈“Why won’t you believe me?” Ben after finding Sun.
“Because your mouth is open.” Ilana…hee….someone has a crush!
✈“A wise man once said; War is coming to this Island. I think it just got here.” Flocke. Huh? Was it Confucius?
✈“This is your fault, isn’t it?” Miles to Hurley.
“Kinda.” I love you, Hurley!

By the way, I found some HILARIOUS Lost Recaps over at Videogum. Check them out. Read the comments to, as there are gifs, and silliness.

As stated, next week is a Des episode. And we only have like 8 hours left! Step it up, Lost writers!
♥Mags

Songs I Think You SHOULD Know ♫♪♫

2010-03-29T18:18:00.000-07:00

So I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about Music lately, and the various songs that touch my life, make it better, make it beautiful. I’ve been thinking about it, because I get to introduce little Natalie to music soon, and the thought of picking that first song she’ll ever hear is dumbfounding. Because although we’ve all had the chance to introduce our friends and loved ones to songs they’ve never heard before…how often do we get to introduce a new human being to music? It’s amazing! I have a pretty good idea of the song she will first hear…and it’s a strange choice, but I’m very proud of it.

And if you read through the list, you will discover the song I will be playing her first.

Still, I am a bit of a music snob, and I know a lot of amazing songs out there that I am always dying to share with the world. And after having gone through both my iPods (You read that right, I have two, don’t ask), I have come up with a list of songs that I feel you all should know. I don’t expect you to love them…but if you do, that would be AWESOME. But I do hope you give them a chance, a listen, and embrace them as some of my favorite songs of all time. (Note, Pearl Jam and The Swell Season are missing from this list, because I’ve already written my love for them.)

There will be links to videos/ways to listen as I can find them. Some will have links to lyrics, some will not. If I can’t find some way for you to listen to the song off my blog, your homework is to hunt it down and listen to it. There may be a test.(Some of the videos may end up being weird fan made ones. Just listen to the songs.)

So below are 70+ songs in alphabetical order that I love:
Adelaide – The Old 97’s
I discovered this song through Veronica Mars, a great show. It’s a great song, but the lyrics are hopeful and sad. I love the simplicity of this song, how it’s just a couple of guys and a couple of guitars.Video. Lyrics

Ain’t No Sunshine – Eva Cassidy
I could write miles of words professing my love for Eva Cassidy, and list every song of hers on here because they are all amazing. But I have to choose just one or two, for time’s sake. This one is perfect. Listening to it is like being in a smoky bar, feeling bitter, and drinking whiskey to smooth your troubled soul. Outside it is raining and all you can think about is the one who just broke your heat. It’s amazing.Video

Amado Mio – Pink Martini
It’s hard to not put about a billion of their songs on this list, but this is the first song of theirs that I listened to, and I was instantly hooked. Some more of them is on the list, and trust me when I say you should just go out, buy their 4 albums, and embrace them as one of the greatest modern classical bands on this planet. I adore her voice and all the music they play.Video.

Amie – Damian Rice
I chose this song because it is dear to me for many reasons. Damian Rice speaks about my heart in ways I could not possibly begin to explain myself. But the reason this song is on the list mostly, is the line, “You know when you’ve found it, there’s something I learned, cause you feel it when they take it away.” Oh yes, Damian. I know.Video. Lyrics.

Aspettami – Pink Martini
Them again. It’s about the simplicity of this song, and how heart breakingly beautiful it is. It’s just her, a guitar, and a voice that will sweep you away.Video. Lyrics.

Baby Wants a Diamond – The Squirrel Nut Zippers
This song has my second favorite piano solo in a modern Swing song (The first being Big Bad Voodoo Daddy’s ‘Simple Songs’) but it is also upbeat, fun, silly, charming, and totally my character Liv. Just trust me on this.Video.

Ballade No. 1 in G Minor Op. 23 by Chopin
It’s just stunning. Trust me on this. It’s 9 minutes long and incredible. Enough said. Video.

Battersea – Hooverphonic
Ever hear a song on a TV show and fall in love with it so entirely, that you immediately download it and play it for the rest of your life? Cause that’s how it is with this song. I love it. So much. I like that the lyrics and the music don’t really go together, but work in an amazing way. Video. Lyrics.

Beautiful Ride – Dewey Cox
Yes, I know it’s just John C. Reilly dressed up as a profane fictional singer, but this song has so much heart and soul to it, I love it. I seriously want this song played at my funeral. It’s sweet, and it has a great message, and it’s the only song of his I could put on this list because the rest are insanely good but a bit naughty. (‘Let’s Duet’, anyone?) Video. Lyrics.

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning – Smashing Pumpkins
I always loved this song but forgot about it. Then we heard it on the Watchmen trailer and we fell in love again. It’s strange and beautiful and mellow but strong and it is just beloved in my family. Video.

Best of You – Foo Fighters
A song I discovered late, but as it is the Foo Fighters, I love it so much. It’s powerful and uplifting and very simple. Most of their music is amazing, but this one reaches deep into your soul and gives such hope. Great to listen to when having a bad day. Video. Lyrics.

Beyond The Sea – Bobby Darin
This is the song Steve and I had our first dance to at our little wedding. It’s special and awesome and a classic, so just go put it on your iPod, memorize it, and embrace it into your life. Video

Bitty Boppy Betty – Pink Martini
It’s about a cross dressing lawyer. Why must I continue to describe how madly I love it? Video. Lyrics.

Black and Gold – Sam Sparro
Bryan introduced me to this song, and I want it played at every wedding ever. It’s a wonderful, unique love song, and I adore his voice. Plus, epic to drive to. Video.

The Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice
This song and I…we share a deeper relationship than I can even begin to discuss. It’s DJ’s song, I am the Pupil in denial, and it still has a profound effect to make me cry. I wept the first time I heard this song, and it’s one of those that I am convinced was written for me and what I was going through at the moment I first heard it. This song destroys me, and that’s why I love it. Video.

Brothers in Arms – Dire Straits
I love Mark Knopfler because of my dad. I love this song because it is beautiful. I love the lyrics about Vietnam, I love the imagery, I love when they used it on The West Wing. It’s simply an amazing song that isn’t really given its due. Well, now it’s time. Listen. Love. Video. Lyrics.

The Canyon Behind Her – Dredg
My beautiful Lost Text Buddy Sarah introduced me to a lot of music and a lot of bands when we hung out in high school. I will love her most and forever for burning me a copy of El Cielo by Dredg. There is not one song on that album that I do not love. There is not one song that has not inspired me to write. But this song…the very last one on the CD, will forever be held in my heart. It’s Gwindor’s song, to a T. It’s over 6 minutes of gloriousness, and I simply am floored by how the song, and the album, ends on an breath intake. It’s…perfect. Video.

Do What You Have To Do – Sarah McLachlin
The live version of this song is so incredible it has made me cry. I have no words to describe how this song affects me. How for a while it was me, and now it’s Don. It’s beautiful, and it’s mine. Video.

Dogs – Damien Rice
Not all his songs are sad and hopeless. This one is charming. I want to take my bestie Jess and do a photo shoot based on this song. It’s lovely, and it’s a story that is told in song, and I love that. Video.

Dosventanya Mio Bambino – Pink Martini
Seeing this song live was the highlight of the entire epically awesome concert Bryan, Steve and I went to. I adore how comical and wonderful this song is. It’s grand. And you should see me singing it loudly in my car…it is a sight. Video. The video is from the concert I saw, so bare with the quality. I'm screaming madly far behind this person.

The Edge of the Ocean – Ivy
Another song that I discovered due to Veronica Mars, but it became something different. When my beautiful Liz died, it became her song. While I was making that video, I couldn’t imagine putting sad music to such a beautiful, happy, bright life and all those amazingly wonderful memories of My Hero. This song came to mind, as if Liz herself told me to pick it, and it fits. Hearing this song gives me hope, and makes me miss my beautiful friend so much. Video.

End of the Line – The Traveling Wilburys
Aside from the fact that this is THE super band that no one seems to know about, this is my favorite song. It’s so happy and upbeat and silly and lovely. And you should check out the rest of their music because holy crap, guys, it’s Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, and some other guy that I always forget about (Jeff Lynne). It’s like the 4 God’s of Rock and Roll in a band together. Plus that other guy. Video.Weirdly, that video has an ad before it? Still TOTALLY worth watching, because it's those men together. On a train.

Ever Fallen In Love – The Buzzcocks
Aside from the fact their name makes me giggle like a 12 year old (Newsflash! I’m 12), I just love this punk love song. I just do. So much. Video.

Everlong – Foo Fighters
Look, if you don’t know this song and how incredible it is, go listen to it, and don’t come back until you do. Because it is one of the single greatest Rock and Roll songs, EVER. Video. Lyrics.

Fair – Remy Zero
Early hipsters and those of us who love Natalie Portman and Scrubs went to see Garden State and fell in love with the soundtrack. Of all the songs on it, this one will always be my favorite. I love songs lyrics that make no sense, but still profoundly touch your heart. Video. Lyrics.

Fake Plastic Trees – Radiohead
There really isn’t a way for me to describe how I adore this song and how it got me through my tougher moments in high school. It’s beautiful, sad, and really amazing. Video.

Fields of Gold – Eva Cassidy
I should write an entire post on this song, and one day I totally might. It’s…it’s…perfect. It’s heart breaking. It’s far superior to Sting’s version, and I love Sting’s version. The first time I heard this song it destroyed me and I sobbed like a baby…on a flight to Switzerland no less. Just listen to her, her heart, her voice, close your eyes, and let her take you away. This song will forever remain in my Top Ten Favorite Songs EVER. Video.

Flight of the Passing Fancy – The Squirrel Nut Zippers
It’s fun, upbeat, and silly. It has no words, but I love the fight between the tenor and baritone saxophones, as I love how the Trumpet totally trumps them both. It’s totally Andy, Willie, and Liv, you have no idea (Also, you have no idea what I’m talking about anyway. Hee). Still, it’s great, and I consider it Hawaiian Swing. Video.

The Freshman – The Verve Pipe
This is just one of those songs that is amazing and everyone should know it. I fell in love with it like 15 years ago when it came out, and from then on it’s been in my life. It should be in yours. Video.

The Ghost of Stephen Foster – The Squirrel Nut Zippers
I LOVE THIS SONG. It’s haunting, hilarious, random, very strange, super fantastic, and I’ve seen it live, so score! I want to play this song on repeat during Halloween, and write a story about it. Just embrace the oddness and let yourself fall in love. Video.

The Ghost of You – My Chemical Romance
I’m kinda so-so on all their music, but this song is really fantastic. Especially for writing. And the video is mind blowingly good. Video.

God Is A DJ – Pink
I just love listening to this song. It’s upbeat and happy and great to drive to. Video.

God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
If you don’t know this song, you’re living under a rock. Go, go listen….done? Isn’t it amazing! It’s the single greatest love song ever written, and it begins with “I may not always love you”. Even Paul McCartney thinks this song is the best love song ever recorded. And that’s saying something! Video. Lyrics.

Gortoz A Ran – J’Attends - Hans Zimmer
Now, bare with me. This song is from the soundtrack to Black Hawk Down, and it’s beautiful, sad, and in like old school French. I have written more heart breaking scenes to this song than almost any other. It really, really is one of those songs that has made me a better writer, and without it, I would be lost and sucky. Video. Lyrics.

The Great Below – Nine Inch Nails
An unknown gem by NIN, and it really shouldn’t be. It’s really beautiful and disturbing. And it’s so perfectly Gwindor I could crap my pants….wait… Video.

Grey Room – Damien Rice
This song has done more for my heart and recovery from DJ than I could say. If The Blower’s Daughter is all about when I first fell in love and lost him, this song is all about how I’ve let him go, but he’ll always be a part of me. It is like the end song for our story that has no end. Video. Lyrics.

Hey Jealousy – The Gin Blossoms
I have adored this song since it came out in the early 90’s, and I love that the band is still touring. I love that my boss once quoted it to me, not knowing how mad I am for it. I think this song is fantastic. Video.

Here Comes The Sun – The Beatles
If I have to explain why, we shouldn’t even be friends. Video.

I’ll Find A Way – Rachel Yamagata
This song is heart breaking and beautiful. It speaks volumes of how broken, lost people are so despite to find their loved ones again. It’s just…stunning. And sad. Video

Kissing You – Des’ree
It’s from Romeo + Juliet and I adore it. But it’s not a straight forward love song for me, it’s more of a love song to a lost love…or one you’re losing. In a weird way, I associate this song with Steve…even though he isn’t lost. If I’m having trouble falling asleep/have a super annoying song stuck in my head, I always focus on this song. It’s my peace. Video. Lyrics.

The Last Resort – The Eagles
One of my favorite and under appreciated songs. It’s a beautiful tale of life out west, and how money changes people, and…Oh, just read the lyrics and listen to it. It’s beautiful, soft, and totally one of my all time favorite classic rock songs. (Side note: It’s on the album Hotel California, and my dad owns the guitar played in the opening of the song Hotel California by Joe Walsh.) Video. Lyrics.

Let Down – Radiohead
It’s my FAVORITE Radiohead song EVER. It comforts me, it gives me hope, and it is the first song I have to listen to when I fly, both after takeoff and before landing. It is a perfect song, and Ok Computer is a damn near perfect CD. Video.

London Still – The Waifs
This song reminds me of Emma, and I love it. It’s a neat little story, and I love the line, “I miss you like my left arm that’s been lost in a war.” I wish I was in London listening to that song, wishing for home. Which is…odd. Video.

Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard – Simon and Garfunkel
Go on. Just try to listen to that song without smiling and tapping your foot to the music. Try it. I dare you. Because you can’t. It’s charming, silly, wonderful, and I adore it. Video.

A Minor Incident – Badly Drawn Boy
This is another song that deserves, and will get, it’s own post one day. This song is utterly perfect, beautiful, sweet, sad, and lovely. It was written for the movie ‘About A Boy’, and the author of the book that the film was based on has openly said this song saved his life. It’s saved mine. The first verse is nothing short of everything I’ve ever wanted to say to DJ. This song will be with me for my whole life. Video.

Moskau – Dschinghis Khan
It’s German Disco. It’s all you need to know. It’s AMAZING. Video. Lyrics. Do yourself a favor, even if you want a laugh, watch the video. It's...There are no words.

Mr. Bluesky – ELO
I love how upbeat, bright, silly, and fun this song is. Video.

My Confession – Josh Groban
Girl, if this isn’t James watching Natalie and struggling with his feelings about her, I don’t know what is. Again, it’s a story song. It makes my mind wander into deliciousness. (Yes, I’m naming my daughter after one of my characters.) Video.

My Weakness – Moby
It took me ages to realize there are lyrics to this song. Even so, it is a beautiful, sad, amazing song that played over Mulder finally finding his sister in The X-Files. And I love it. So very, very much. Video.

Nara – E. S. Posthumous
I think this song is AMAZING. It’s really beautiful and it’s real proof that you don’t have to have words in a song to make it incredibly powerful. The scenes I have written to this song…girl…you have no idea. Without this song, I’d be utterly lost as a writer. Video.

Pink Bullets – The Shins
Another song that made me weep the first time I heard it. I think it’s stunning, very odd, and sad. The video is super strange but it works. Video. Lyrics.

The Pretender – Foo Fighters
I think this is one of their single greatest songs. It’s second in my heart to Everlong, and I love, love, love, love the video for it. And it’s so totally Gwindor, you have NO idea. And the use of a cello? BRILLIANT. Video.

Rahalama (Bang Bang) – Roisin Murphy
It’s just a strange, badass song. I blame Jess for making me watch So You Think You Can Dance perform to it. It’s awesome. Also, fun to walk to in heals. Video.

Save My Soul – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
I adore all of their music and all of them as people (Especially Dirk and Andy! Miss them soooo much). This song is some of their best work, and I was floored when they played it live at a couple of shows. They once said they never would play it live…I adore it, and them. Video.

Sister – The Nixons
I’m not entirely sure anyone else on this planet knows this song, but I think it’s great and very powerful. Video.

The Sounds of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel
I…don’t even think I have words to describe this song and how great it is. So just listen to it, and read the lyrics, and take it into your heart. Video.

Staralfur – Sigur Ros
This song will get its own post. This song is the first song I plan on playing my daughter. This song is so incredible, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, hopeful, and touching that it has made me cry. This song…changed my life, and I adore it. I don’t care what anyone ever says, this song is my world. Video.

Sweet Surrender – Sarah McLachlin
I love, love, love, love this song. I just do. I love her voice and the lyrics and everything about it. Video.

Take My Hand – Dido
Hee, this song has good memories in my head. I think it’s way sexy and I love her and her voice. I really like Dido, and must get her newest album. Hurm. Video.

These Days – Nico
This song came into my life because of The Royal Tenenbaums, and I have loved it since. It’s a sad song to me, but it’s also really lovely in that, ‘Looking back on my life’ way. And her voice is super unique. Video.

Tonight, Tonight – Smashing Pumpkins
Have you ever seen the video? It’s brilliant. And the song itself is wonderful in so many, many ways. I think this song captures a part of my childhood when it came out, and I will always find hope and peace in it. Video.

Touched – Vast
If Don & Gwin are ever turned into a movie, you bet your ass this song is playing over the trailer. I LOVE this song, it’s really unique, and really beautiful, and the lyrics are fantastic. Video.

We’re In This Together Now – Nine Inch Nails
I really, really, really cannot get enough of this song. It’s amazing. It’s such a bold, unusual love song to me. And it has helped me write scenes both on paper and in my head. I really love this song from beginning to end. Video. Lyrics.

The World At Large – Modest Mouse
This song grants my heart such peace, and when I close my eyes I see Seattle Center at night, and feel as though I can’t be touched by any bad. It also totally awakens the wanderlust in my heart, and I wish I could be nomadic sometimes. Video.

You and I Both – Jason Mraz
I just think it’s cute, upbeat, and fun. And it seems to be all the words I can’t say. So many words… Video.

You Know You Wrong – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
This is on the list for Jenny and Liz and Nikki, and watching BBVD live at the House of Blues in Anaheim, and singing it loudly to each other, and laughing, and feeling so very, very happy. Video.

Your Ex-Lover is Dead – The Stars
Another song that came to me cause of So You Think You Can Dance. I really love it, and have listened to it on repeat before. Over, and over, and over…it’s amazing. Video.

So that’s the list…I edited it down some so I think it’s under 70…still…I love all these songs, and they will keep a fond place in my heart until the very end. And I wanted to share them with you, because I hope you can adore them just as much as I do. So give them a listen, let me know if you know them already, and by all means, leave some comments with your own favorite songs.

And if you made it through the list, you get a gold star. :-)
Loves!
♥♥Mags